Midwest Wtiter Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I jumped on here because today is Tuesday and Tuesday was always our date night. We ended it because he wanted to date me (his girlfriend) and we both date other people also. No thanks. We are both over 45 but he is a true party/frat boy. Actually has 2 roommates in their early 20s, drinks himself into oblivion every other week and can't take care of his house. Still, the relationship was pretty good all things considered. This isn't our first breakup and I'm already dating but still miss him a lot. But here's what I love: Come on this forum anytime, day or night, and there are hundreds of people on here. Hundreds! At once! Many with the same exact feeling-- we are overwhelmed, depressed, missing our exes terribly and don't know how to make it through the day/night. We desperately want to contact our exes. I can't tell you how reassuring it is to be feeling so alone, like no one else in the world has this horrible feeling and realizing there are dozens of new stories daily of people who are going through this horrid experience. I live by the NC now. He is sending occasional emails and texts. He wanted to date others, I said I wasn't good with that, he still went forward. Now he doesn't get me anymore. So... thank you forum and those on here suffering alongside me. It's helped a lot this week. (Yes, I just got off the couch from crying.) 5
ponchsox Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I jumped on here because today is Tuesday and Tuesday was always our date night. We ended it because he wanted to date me (his girlfriend) and we both date other people also. No thanks. We are both over 45 but he is a true party/frat boy. Actually has 2 roommates in their early 20s, drinks himself into oblivion every other week and can't take care of his house. Still, the relationship was pretty good all things considered. This isn't our first breakup and I'm already dating but still miss him a lot. But here's what I love: Come on this forum anytime, day or night, and there are hundreds of people on here. Hundreds! At once! Many with the same exact feeling-- we are overwhelmed, depressed, missing our exes terribly and don't know how to make it through the day/night. We desperately want to contact our exes. I can't tell you how reassuring it is to be feeling so alone, like no one else in the world has this horrible feeling and realizing there are dozens of new stories daily of people who are going through this horrid experience. I live by the NC now. He is sending occasional emails and texts. He wanted to date others, I said I wasn't good with that, he still went forward. Now he doesn't get me anymore. So... thank you forum and those on here suffering alongside me. It's helped a lot this week. (Yes, I just got off the couch from crying.) This forum saved me from months of sadness and depression. I had no idea about NC and how effective it is until I started reading these forums daily. I even thought it wouldn't work until I broke NC and boy was I wrong! I felt like an was alone on an island and nobody else felt like I did. It turns out many people experienced the same type of blind sided breakup and a relationship with a selfish person that I did. Two and a half months post breakup and my confidence is back and I feel stronger than ever. 3
Author Midwest Wtiter Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 That's what I want to hear. This isn't my first breakup. I've been down this road 4 times, twice with the same guy (this one). This guy was the first relationship after another crushing breakup. It took a bit to really love him but I did. But sometimes I look back on the other two and I'm glad those relationships are gone. I hope I feel that way about this one soon.
BC1980 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 This forum saved me from months of sadness and depression. I had no idea about NC and how effective it is until I started reading these forums daily. I even thought it wouldn't work until I broke NC and boy was I wrong! I felt like an was alone on an island and nobody else felt like I did. It turns out many people experienced the same type of blind sided breakup and a relationship with a selfish person that I did. Two and a half months post breakup and my confidence is back and I feel stronger than ever. It's like free group therapy. It helps so much to know you are not alone and your situation is not that unique. 5
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It's like free group therapy. It helps so much to know you are not alone and your situation is not that unique. That's how I found this place. I really wanted to find a live group of some sort where everyone was going through the same thing. I imagined it would be like an AA meeting or something, where everyone is sitting in folding chairs in a circle in the middle of a large room. Well, that doesn't exist where I live, so man am I glad I found this forum. I just pretend we're all in those chairs in a circle
LadyM Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I didn't find this forum until the worst of the BU pain was over. I sure wish I had found it sooner as I think it would have saved me months of heartache.
JDPT Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I recall earlier when i was in excruciating pain googling for answers and came across this site. It's seldom that I open up to anyone but I managed to change that with this site which has been so good to me and I hope I've contributed towards it as well. 1
kamelot Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 My ex traded me in for a younger model and even tho he say's nothing has changed between us everything has...to make matters worse we live together...good thing he is on the road so much...I think he may be experiencing a mid life crisis...the betrayla is almost too much to handle after eight years of putting up with each otehrs crap..you would think that you could handle anything together but now i just find myself more angry and sad than ever. but i found this really great things by eckhart tolle that I think will help me in this process... "When you look upon another human being and feel great love towards them, or when you contemplate beauty in nature and something within you responds deeply to it, close your eyes for a moment and feel the essence of that love or that beauty within you, inseparable from who you are, your true nature. The outer form is a temporary reflection of what you are within, in your essence. That is why love and beauty can never leave you, although all outer forms will." — Eckhart Tolle 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 My ex traded me in for a younger model and even tho he say's nothing has changed between us everything has...to make matters worse we live together...good thing he is on the road so much...I think he may be experiencing a mid life crisis...the betrayla is almost too much to handle after eight years of putting up with each otehrs crap..you would think that you could handle anything together but now i just find myself more angry and sad than ever. but i found this really great things by eckhart tolle that I think will help me in this process... "When you look upon another human being and feel great love towards them, or when you contemplate beauty in nature and something within you responds deeply to it, close your eyes for a moment and feel the essence of that love or that beauty within you, inseparable from who you are, your true nature. The outer form is a temporary reflection of what you are within, in your essence. That is why love and beauty can never leave you, although all outer forms will." — Eckhart Tolle Read the whole book "The Power of Now". It's some deep shyte. Or better yet, listen to the MP3 3
Am4Real Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Nice to have you here -- WELCOME HOME!!! But here's what I love: Come on this forum anytime, day or night, and there are hundreds of people on here. Hundreds! At once! Many with the same exact feeling-- we are overwhelmed, depressed, missing our exes terribly and don't know how to make it through the day/night. We desperately want to contact our exes. )
Recommended Posts