JDPT Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 That's right folks, just looking at her car parked sparked fury and pain in me once again. I'm confident it was her vehicle and quiet honestly past the point of speculating. I'm not certain why it is that when i start to feel somewhat stable things like this occur. No i was not stalking, no i wasn't looking for her I was simply trying to make it home. My heart started to beat faster in hopes of her not being around her car. I was mostly upset at the fact that I became nervous and perhaps just a bit anxious, i honestly thought I was past that. i'm upset at the power she still holds and the way she can inadvertently make me feel 7 months post BU. This occurred a few hours ago. I feel that I needed to vent and get this off my chest with you guys. The last thing I want is to linger over this stupidity. So coincidental a few hours before seeing her car on the street i was reading an article about NC just to reinforce my intentions. Like I said i don't want to dwell on this, i just want to continue moving forward with my life.
Haydn Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I know this feeling of panic. With you mate. keep it locked we will push out of this friend. Vent away it the best thing to do. I am away from my situation for the xmas holidays but i know i have to return and pound these mean streets again. There with you. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 gosh, this post makes me mad. Silly brain, we shouldn't feel anxious after 7 months.
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Hahahaha. This happens to me all the time. And in my small town there are at least 5 of the exact same make, model, year and color. I see it all the time, but don't think it has actually been her once. Still, gets the blood pressure up every time. Not to worry, it's part of the process and no need to beat yourself as to why. It just is. 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I dread the day this will happen to me:( Hang in there, the feeling will go away.. 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I'm still in the stage where I think I see his car EVERYWHERE! Although it is highly unlikely that it ever is. Almost 8 weeks NC. But in your case 7 months is probably not long enough for such powerful emotions to subside entirely. I mean to most of us here 7 months is a frickin eternity. But in the span of our lives, it really isn't so long. I would be surprised if you felt nothing at all. I can definitely see why that would anger you though. I think if I saw my exes car a year from now I would feel the same. . . kinda like . . . wow, he's alive out there. I would probably whisper as I drove by "son of a b!tch" Anyway, sorry that happened to you. The worst part is you were just going along minding your own business! Ugh! What a drag! 1
Author JDPT Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Hahahaha. This happens to me all the time. And in my small town there are at least 5 of the exact same make, model, year and color. I see it all the time, but don't think it has actually been her once. Still, gets the blood pressure up every time. Not to worry, it's part of the process and no need to beat yourself as to why. It just is. Oh it got the blood pressure up for sure. I believe that's what i was mostly about, at the fact that i was feeling nervous to know if she was around and her thinking perhaps i was "stalking" But you are absolutely right, I knew deep inside what my intentions were and I shouldn't beat myself over it. I need to keep pushing forward. 2
Author JDPT Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I'm still in the stage where I think I see his car EVERYWHERE! Although it is highly unlikely that it ever is. Almost 8 weeks NC. But in your case 7 months is probably not long enough for such powerful emotions to subside entirely. I mean to most of us here 7 months is a frickin eternity. But in the span of our lives, it really isn't so long. I would be surprised if you felt nothing at all. I can definitely see why that would anger you though. I think if I saw my exes car a year from now I would feel the same. . . kinda like . . . wow, he's alive out there. I would probably whisper as I drove by "son of a b!tch" Anyway, sorry that happened to you. The worst part is you were just going along minding your own business! Ugh! What a drag! Honestly if I knew absolutely nothing of her or any reminders of her for the rest of my life I would be perfectly fine. It feels like a bug that bugs around you, you just want it gone for good. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I actually did see her once at the gas station as I drove by. She didn't see me. That was at the very beginning of NC. Since then, I know I haven't seen her and I doubt she has seen me (as I am usually much more observant than her). I would wager that she thinks I have already moved from here as she knows that was my intention after splitting... Still. I know how you feel as even the mere sight of her would blow me away. Wouldn't even know what to do. Sucks they have that unknown power over us, but oh well... Onward and upward 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Honestly if I knew absolutely nothing of her or any reminders of her for the rest of my life I would be perfectly fine. It feels like a bug that bugs around you, you just want it gone for good. Hahaha! A bug! Exactly! Perfect analogy! Same here as far as not wanting to know anything. I guess I'm lucky because we live on opposite sides of the city. So opposite that we are in small towns outside the city. I mean, I guess if we went to a concert or state fair or something I may run into him. Could happen. I hope not. I had the same "stalking" fear. . . as in he would think that. LOL! He should be so lucky! Damn roaches!!! 1
Author JDPT Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 See, thing is i actually saw her a few months ago as i was driving and felt absolutely nothing. I' not certain what changed from a few months ago to now. I feel a bit more calm although the last few weeks were hell for me as i lost myself and neglected my recovery.
LostConfused123 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 See, thing is i actually saw her a few months ago as i was driving and felt absolutely nothing. I' not certain what changed from a few months ago to now. I feel a bit more calm although the last few weeks were hell for me as i lost myself and neglected my recovery. You know, that kinda makes sense (to me anyway) I think months from now if I saw his car (and knew it was his) I would be pretty shaken up. . . just because after many months it would be so unexpected. But in the beginning we're all kinda numb. That's just my guess anyway.
nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Needless to say there are likely 1000s of people with the same car in your city. Your logic of assuming it was here is simply flawed. So many people have the same car as my ex, that doesn't mean she is in all of them. Besides, maybe she will see you and think of you and it could work to your advantage. Just a different way to look at things. Stop assuming, you make an ass out of you and me.
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Needless to say there are likely 1000s of people with the same car in your city. Your logic of assuming it was here is simply flawed. So many people have the same car as my ex, that doesn't mean she is in all of them. Besides, maybe she will see you and think of you and it could work to your advantage. Just a different way to look at things. Stop assuming, you make an ass out of you and me. Interesting take... He already said he was sure it was her car...
Author JDPT Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 You know, that kinda makes sense (to me anyway) I think months from now if I saw his car (and knew it was his) I would be pretty shaken up. . . just because after many months it would be so unexpected. But in the beginning we're all kinda numb. That's just my guess anyway. Numb indeed. however, this "numbness" has morphed into a numbness without the pain. I think once I acknowledged the fact that it was my choice to continue to be in pain, many things changed for me. I'm learning that i can change the way i feel and i can proactively steer my path whichever way i choose to. Just a bit irritated to know she is still around you know? As stated, I hope I never know nothing of her. 1
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