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Do you ever compare people you date to your ex?

purplesoccer34

By purplesoccer34
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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purplesoccer34 Established Member

purplesoccer34

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I dated a guy for about a year, and we broke up about 3 months ago. Before him, I casually went on dates with guys, but I was never in a serious relationship until this.

 

I've met a few guys after breaking up with him, but all that did was make me miss my ex even more. What's worse is that I met a guy who seemed to have the most amazing personality ever, but I decided not to date him because he wasn't like my ex--he was physically attractive, but not in the way that my ex was.

 

Will I always be comparing other guys to my ex? Or could this just mean that I'm not over my ex yet, and it's just a temporary thing? My ex was by no means perfect--he was insanely attractive, he did the sweetest things for me, and he was always so funny, but for some reason I was never happy or truly satisfied in the relationship. Yet, all I can think about now are his positive traits, and if those same traits are not there in the new guy, I don't even feel like giving him a chance. I just hope this is a temporary thing...is it? Or is comparing something I will always do?

ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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It sounds like you're not fully recovered. You have to be completely over your ex before you can be happy in a new relationship.

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JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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Posted

I used to all the time. You need to give yourself time to heal. You'll know when you are ready to date once again. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun not torture comparing the date to your ex.

LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

Posted
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Constantly. That's how I know I'm not ready to date yet.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

Sometimes. I actually got some closure on a past relationship that way.

 

 

As DH & I were planning our wedding, all the pressure was making me nutty. One day during what became my practically routine morning cry, I thought about this one EX. As stressful as wedding planning was I realized that going through it with my now husband was a blessing because if I had tried with that EX, the stress would have torn us apart, which was ironic because one of the things that broke us up was that he didn't want to get married.

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