La Rose Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I will summarize the story: I have been dating this guy for four months. We like each other so much and he really takes care of me. Things are great. He is busy (he has two kids-divorced) and he takes care of his family. So we don't see each other very frequently, but it doesn't bother me much because I know what is he up to Last time, something extremely strange happened: He plans for a date and calls me (I didn't call him that day-giving him space). He told me to get ready and wait for him to pick me up in an hour or so. Time flies and he just disappeared. I called him-no answer. He texts me later saying he is dealing with some situation and will call me. He hasn't called for a week. I am totally devastated. My heart is ripped from my chest. I am crying day and night. I really like this man, and he does like me. There are many scenarios. I am getting crazy. Why would he dump me now, especially he wanted to see me and says he misses me? Why not just block my number? His phone is on. What kind of situation can make him 'not able' to call me for a week? I am very depressed. I need an answer. This touched me so bad that I feel I want to die. If only he came to me and told me he doesn't want me anymore-though even that would be weird because he shows much love and care. Can you help please?
tlegend Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I...do not know what to tell you, other than the fact that if you were in his mind in a favorable way, I would think he would contact you to let you know what's going on. I don't have a good feeling about this, and after a week of no contact, its obvious that you may never get the answer to your question of "Why?".
pteromom Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Are you certain he is divorced? There are several red flags here that point to him still being married. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Forget him. I am waaaaay more concerned about you. You & this guy have been together for 4 months but the potential end of this relationship has to crying night & day & wanting to die. Please, please take a step back. He's not worth your life. I don't know what happened to him or why he hasn't called but that is absolutely no reason to kill yourself. If you truly feel suicidal, call a hotline, tell a friend but do something to save your own life. 2
winny Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 DO NOT THINK ABOUT DYING. THROW THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR MIND FIRST. Next I would say, drop him a text saying, you are hurt because he has vanished like this without a word and you don't know what to make out of it. If he is in some problem then ask him to get back to you once things are ok. If he doesn't reply to this then I would day its over. If he does, do not take him back happily with open arms. Be very cautious.
FitChick Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 (edited) Maybe an ex called to say she is pregnant. Maybe one of his kids was molested. Maybe he got arrested. Maybe they found the body. Edited December 10, 2013 by FitChick
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Honestly, if he really wanted to see you or talk to you he would have done it. I am sure he probably likes you a bit but not the way you think, so just stay strong and start working on forgetting about this dude. This is a big red flag and I already see him hurting you some more in the long run. Trust me this is coming from a guy if we really like a girl we are going to talk to them and not ignore them for an entire week. 1
regine_phalange Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 You dont need to die for anyone! Chin up girl and walk away. I'd also suspect him being married and his wife finding out. 1
PinkInTheLimo Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I totally understand that you are gutted. Unfortunately some guys do these disappearing acts... What you should do is to try to find out what exactly is going on there. No, not by asking him because he most probably is an experienced liar. But by playing detective. Do you know where he lives? What kind of job he does? What he does in his free time and where? Try to find out as much as possible in order to get an exact idea of what his plans were with you. He would not be the first married guy who lures a girl into an affair by pretending to be the busy divorced father. The truth sets you free. Knowing exactly what this guy is about will be a tough reality check but it will help you to no longer obsess about what happened. I am almost sure that he is married or in a couple. If that is the case, you collect all the evidence you have about your relationship with him. Then you ask a good friend to accompany you and you go and tell his wife what he did. She has the right to know what kind of guy she is married to. I am telling you these things because I once was in a relationship of a couple of months with a divorced guy who was very busy, who also once did not show up. Came up with some lame excuse afterwards. After a couple of months I started being a detective and found out that the guy lived together with a woman. I paid her a visit with all my proof and next thing he knew she had put him at the door. YES! Because of this experience I have become very suspicious about very busy guys. My advice: when you are dating a guy, make sure that you meet on weekend evenings and several times a week. A married or coupled guy will have more difficulty being available during the weekend and very frequent. One more thing: I don't exclude that Mr Disappearing Act will all of a sudden be in front of your door full of apologies and explanations. Don't take the bait. He will do the disappearing act again and again. Unless he is dead or in a coma, he has to get in touch as quickly as possible with you after not showing up. 1
felicity1 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) If you've been seeing him for 4 months, he would have already been exhibiting red flags before this happened. You have unfortunately missed them and he's taking advantage of this, knowing that you will believe his lies and take him back when he returns. He sounds like a manipulator. If you reflect back upon previous meetings I'm sure you will recall certain comments/behaviours of his which you initially question-marked, but then dismissed. He's scum. You want to end your life over scum???? I don't think so. Be cautious about who you date in future and be on the lookout for those red flags. Respect yourself. Edited December 11, 2013 by felicity1
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