RogerWallace111 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Met a girl at a dance club in a city an hour away from me 2 months ago, ended up going back to her place. We enjoyed some reefer and crashed. Spent the next day in her apartment talking / having sex til late afternoon. She was sweet/funny/cute, and I enjoyed hanging with her. She told me she had bad anxiety, I gave her a massage and tried to make her relax. It apparently worked cause she said she couldn't ever remember anyone making her feel so calm. Interestingly enough she gave me a better bj than I ever remember having. When I left she was on her bed naked looking at me with sweet little eyes telling me to "call her whenever" and that she "really liked my c*ck". I thought, "I sure will". Anyway, I never did. Not particularly sure why. I think because, as I only end up near her every month or so, the ratio of talk to actual contact would be so skewed. Like I could've contacted her shortly after, opened up the line of communication and have been keeping in touch this whole time, but we would've only been have been able to actually link up twice at best. That being said, I would like to be in touch with her. Whether I make it to her area any time soon or not. After our sincere conversation and bomb sex, I don't want her wondering why I never hit her up. Plus she was just generally real and genuine in a way few girls are. I was thinking a facebook message claiming I lost my phone/her number but had been thinking of her might be a decent tactic... Or just own up to it, text/call her and tell her my life's been hectic lately and I for some reason just kept putting off calling. Thoughts? Suggestions?
tlegend Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 No contact after 2 months and not even a "hey, last night was fantastic" after the night in question? You have your work cut out for you. Lying about why you didn't contact her would be stupid in most cases, as it leaves the risk of her finding out you are full of sh#@. However, owning up to "I've been ignoring you for the last 2 months, and I do not know why" may even be harder. I would suggest just trying to contact her and letting her know that you really enjoyed the time you spent together, your life was in disarray and you didn't want to show that to her, and that you are hoping to take her out this weekend if she is up for it. To be frank, I dont think it really matters what you say. The moment you reach out, your answer will be had with her response. As it seems you are sociable enough to carry on a conversation, I'd be willing to bet that if there is some form of latent feelings for you, then you will have no problem connecting with her again. However, be prepared for a woman scorned. I'm sure you've read countless threads in the other section about how pissed off women get when they think they were used for sex. 1
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I was thinking a facebook message claiming I lost my phone/her number but had been thinking of her might be a decent tactic... Or just own up to it, text/call her and tell her my life's been hectic lately and I for some reason just kept putting off calling. Thoughts? Suggestions? I would just be honest. If you lost your phone/her number, it shouldn't have taken you 2 months to reach out to her since you have access to her via FB. It's a common excuse you get from guys that would disappear and circle back a few months later when they don't have much going on for them. I think she'll be able to call your bluff. Things seemed very casual between the two of you and expectations may have been low so regardless of what excuse you give her, she might not even care. She may respond and be open to seeing you again or she may have other things going on with her to be bothered. 2
Author RogerWallace111 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Good points. Realistically I don't think I have to worry about anger on her end, and if she felt used/hurt she'd probably just hide it. Though honestly in this case the "feeling used" would be more a result of my being too "tender" and intimate with her- not the usual "he just wanted a place to stick it!" deal. In fact being too real/sensual with girls I'm not trying to get serious with is a problem of mine. And I'm not talking sweet schmooze tactics to get laid, just that I kiss/touch/talk in a certain caring way with women I dig/respect. I'm never misleading with what I say, I guess it's just the result of giving your natural "all" to a partner. Anyway, TL, I'm assuming she'll be into connecting. I'm really am just more hung up on how re-establish contact, and how much emphasis to give the excuse aspect. 2 months can't be ignored, but I don't think making it a big apology would do much for the overall dynamic of the situation. Probably should have added that this girl isn't some innocent prude. She seemed pretty sexually open and alluded to having taken home guys from the club before. And we left with what felt like a "call me when you're in town and we'll have some fun" vibe, not "when can we start dating?"...
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Probably should have added that this girl isn't some innocent prude. She seemed pretty sexually open and alluded to having taken home guys from the club before. And we left with what felt like a "call me when you're in town and we'll have some fun" vibe, not "when can we start dating?"... I had a feeling that she's pretty uninhibited and casual. In that sense, I think just being honest that life just got the best of you and that you had fun together and would like to see her again would be an acceptable enough reason for someone that is probably just looking for fun.
Author RogerWallace111 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I would just be honest. If you lost your phone/her number, it shouldn't have taken you 2 months to reach out to her since you have access to her via FB. It's a common excuse you get from guys that would disappear and circle back a few months later when they don't have much going on for them. I think she'll be able to call your bluff. Things seemed very casual between the two of you and expectations may have been low so regardless of what excuse you give her, she might not even care. She may respond and be open to seeing you again or she may have other things going on with her to be bothered. Yes yes you're right. I think the second bolded is in many ways the case. The only thing being that there was a certain unique connection between us that makes me feel like it was cold of me to not reach out. Like it was too intimate of a time to just sweep under the rug. But, again, I never said anything misleading, and realistically we were just gettin' stoned, f*ckin, and talking about ourselves.
Author RogerWallace111 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I had a feeling that she's pretty uninhibited and casual. In that sense, I think just being honest that life just got the best of you and that you had fun together and would like to see her again would be an acceptable enough reason for someone that is probably just looking for fun. Yeah that's word. I don't know about uninhibited (she seemed anxious till I forced it out of her), but casual yes. A non-drinker too interestingly enough. I think it was just the collision of her and my "realness" that made it transcend the usual mindless hook-up. I have no problem not calling the unperceptive, ignorant blockhead-type girls back.
tlegend Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Knowing how casual both of you felt about the hookup, I think you will have absolutely no problem reconnecting your friendship. 1
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Yeah that's word. I don't know about uninhibited (she seemed anxious till I forced it out of her), but casual yes. A non-drinker too interestingly enough. I think it was just the collision of her and my "realness" that made it transcend the usual mindless hook-up. I have no problem not calling the unperceptive, ignorant blockhead-type girls back. I used uninhibited because she seemed so comfortable laying there naked in the afterglow and talking about your c*ck only just hours of being with you! Easy, breezy... Contact her. 1
tlegend Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I used uninhibited because she seemed so comfortable laying there naked in the afterglow and talking about your c*ck only just hours of being with you! Easy, breezy... Making a woman experience a real orgasm generally tends to have that effect I've come to experience =) 1
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Making a woman experience a real orgasm generally tends to have that effect I've come to experience =) In the wake of an orgasm, of course! I would be basking! 1
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