Mr Spock Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 Originally posted by hurtinheart I think all the OW get what they deserve!!!! should find your own man a single man not a married man!!!! you started as the OW and will always be the other women!!!! your being played for the fool!!!!! his poor wife!!!!he needs to be a man leave the marriage!!! you need to be a woman and walk away till you see divorce papers!!!! you waiting around on a married man wasting your time!!! when your old and alone you can think the MM cause you wasted your time waiting on him!!!! if you like being second best!!!! choice is your!!!! Your post makes me think of that cheap perfume you could get at the drugstore-Exclamation.....make your move!!!!!
hotgurl Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 Leaf, I was actually replying to the poster lovesick. But I guess it applies to you as well. very similar situations We tried getting together in the beginning of our friendship, but I was not attracted to him at the time and I thought we'd be better off friends. This is what I was responding to. It sounds like they were both singles when they meet and it didn't happen. I thought it was odd the the attraction didn't really start until after he was taken. Anyway Cheating on you wife during a honeymoon is absolutely heinous. Why get married in the first place. Both of these men are real scum. Can you imagine celebrating the start of your life with you new husband and he's busy calling the OW. It makes me want to bi*ch slap these men
Leaf Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 oops Ya, thats something that plays over and over in my mind.. that he was talling me how much he loved me while he was on his honeymoon effing her. These men are not human.
KissMyTiara Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Your post makes me think of that cheap perfume you could get at the drugstore-Exclamation.....make your move!!!!! Yeah, all I think of is that black and white bottle... HurtinHeart, here hun, let me get it out of your system for ya: !!!! !!!! !!!! Enough already, please don't yell.
Mustard Bomb Posted January 3, 2005 Posted January 3, 2005 For the original poster: don't call. Agreed with everyone else: his actions have meaning; not his words. His words are just making you delusional and vulnerable. Walk away from this situation and this man, with your head high. Originally posted by Leaf Ya, thats something that plays over and over in my mind.. that he was talling me how much he loved me while he was on his honeymoon effing her. These men are not human. Seems like an inconvenient time for a phone call. It's interesting that his words are so estranged from his actions: he married her; he may love her; but he's just f***ing you.
Grinning Maniac Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 LoveHurtz.... You accuse us of misreading the situation and judging things too quickly, then post a scenario that is obviously WORSE? What are you on? How is that situation any better or any more justified than what anyone here may have imagined beforehand? Your circumstance isn't anything special or unique. Especially on this forum. It's certainly not the most "complicated" situation I've ever read. I think you're just making it more complicated in your own mind to justify not doing what would be considered common sense by most people. Regardless of your past attractions to this man, he still has no right to screw over his wife, just as you have no right to be screwing over your boyfriend. If you don't actually love the guy...BREAK UP WITH HIM. How does staying with him for no real reason, while you f*ck someone else and pine for their love make any sense at all? If your boyfriend's such a "great guy", don't you think his time would be better spent looking for a girl that actually gives a damn about him? What exactly makes you so special that you feel perfectly justified in keeping him stuck in a bullsh*t relationship while you line up a replacement(a married one, at that) and take him on "test drives"? Honestly, can you give even one reason why it makes sense to be doing this? You may be able to explain away the MM thing even though it'd still be a bum deal, but the fact that you're doing this to your boyfriend is pretty sad. I feel bad for the guy.
LoveHurtz Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 Originally posted by Grinning Maniac LoveHurtz.... You accuse us of misreading the situation and judging things too quickly, then post a scenario that is obviously WORSE? I wasn't accusing anyone of anything. I just wanted to clarify the situation so that readers are clear that this is not some MM I met after the fact. I am very appreciative of all opinions and input, even the negative. Different perspectives are helpful. As far as by boyfriend, he knows about MM and is trying to support me through it emotionally. I hope that I will come to my senses and fall in love with him instead. Believe me, I know that he is better for me. But, you can't help what your heart says and where it is. My heart is with my best friend (MM). I can't help that, I am trying to do what is best and right. I am not calling him anymore. I am giving him his month and maybe in the meantime I will wake up and realize that I already have someone who REALLY loves me. But, I don't want to lead him on if I don't feel the same either. I have been pretty up front with him but he is willing to stick it out awhile. I did not get on here to be battered and ripped to shreds. I already do enough of that to myself. I just thought I could get a little support. My heart is hurting, that is why I posted to begin with. Thank You.....Wish me luck.
Leaf Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 Some of the people in here find fun to hunt us (OW) for sport... just ignore them.
Grinning Maniac Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 @Leaf: I don't say things just to be mean, as if I somehow get my jollies from it. I don't do anything "for sport". But if a situation sounds downright silly, I'm going to say so. I mean, this forum is for advice, right? @LH: As long as he knows what's going on, I suppose it's his choice whether or not to stick around. But personally, I think his actions are pretty foolish. I hope that I will come to my senses and fall in love with him instead. He would see that situation as a "win"? Wow. I certainly wouldn't. I'd be insulted if someone had to "convince" themselves to love me. How could you go through a relationship knowing you were just someone's "second choice"? Especially if their first choice was their best friend and still plans on being around... It may sound a little hammy, but I would think love would come from genuinely caring for, and being attracted to a person, not because they're the "nicer" guy/safer choice, or just because they love you. It sounds as if this is a relatively new relationship(correct me if I'm wrong), but what kind of a relationship is built on the foundation of having to convince yourself that you love the other person? If you've never felt love for this guy (assuming this from the fact that you said "don't love him" and not "dont love him anymore), then what's the point in having a relationship? It sounds like one in which this guy is eventually just going to get hurt...again.
erika2610 Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 My advice to you.. coming from someone who put herself through it for a year. Don't reply.. don't give him a month. Get out.. leave. A married man will tell you anything you wanna hear. And they know what you wanna hear somehow. Why would they leave there wives when they have security at home and a lil somethin on the side. 9 times outta 10, men who aren't even in love with there wives won't leave because it's too expensive to divorce her. Don't you want somebody all to yourself? Who you can call when you want, not just when she's out? Somebody who can spoil you.. you can chill at his house? That's so much more worth it. YOu're not gonna get anything outta this relationship but hurt.. and you're gonna be the only one. I'm not trying to preach or lecture you.. just trying to help, because I've been there
Adunaphel Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 NOW HE SAYS GIVE HIM ONE MONTH TO TELL HER THE WHOLE TRUTH AND LEAVE. Read it as "I don't have enough backbone to tell you that it's over. It would be an embarassing situation to deal with(you might cry and make me feel even more guilty), also, I'm trying to keep you quiet because I'm afraid you could decide to make trouble. But wait, there is a very little chance that my wife will kick me out within a month once she hears the details of the affair, so it's okay if you hang around so I'll still have you if I am served divorce papers. Perhaps, if my wife does not leave me, in a distant future I might decide to get some more free booty from you if I'm very careful not getting caught". As far as by boyfriend, he knows about MM and is trying to support me through it emotionally. I hope that I will come to my senses and fall in love with him instead. BTW, it would be very nice and kind of you to dump your bf and encourage him to get a life instead of keeping him for support and convenience.
Recommended Posts