okay to break no contact on Christmas?

[KathyM]

So YOURE the counselor promoting this method? Not what you've been told? That would explain a lot.

 

And where is it promoted all over this board to use NC as a way to get your ex back? Please show me where this idea is promoted.

No, I am not promoting this method, and have never suggested it to a client. It was a method explained to me by another counselor who had success with it, and I am simply relating his experience with it. Nothing more.

 

 

And I have seen NC promoted on this board as a way to get your ex back many times. If you really don't believe me, perhaps you could do a search for it.

[berkeley1987]

it must have been a middle school consoler. because i only see that method working for kids.

[Haydn]

If i sent my ex a hand grenade. Would it be bad?

 

 

But yes NC over xmas and beyond. OP you will put yourself back to square one if you do this.

[flight E]

I support not contacting her for xmas, birthday any reason for the simple reason that u not healed yet. If u were Healed. You can apply any method u choose it wouldn't make a different. Tops is she will get some ego boost andd u will catch some fun. As hard as it is to swallow love and relationships are games. In games you manipulate, bend the rules. Etc its just the way it is. All is fair in love and war. But it has too be a game where u play. Not where u are all serious and depressed. So cool off first so u can play the game.

[2fargone]

it won't be ruined if she doesn't reply, i deserve it after our last encounter. i just want to put it out there that i'm no longer angry and bitter, because last time we spoke i had some hurtful things to say. she told me, "you can spend the rest of your life being angry at me, but that will effect any type of reconciliation it the future, platonic or romantic."

 

 

 

This response alone would tell me not to contact her. Be smart.

[Simon Phoenix]

No, I am not promoting this method, and have never suggested it to a client. It was a method explained to me by another counselor who had success with it, and I am simply relating his experience with it. Nothing more.

 

 

And I have seen NC promoted on this board as a way to get your ex back many times. If you really don't believe me, perhaps you could do a search for it.

 

Well, the OP has dismissed it plenty of times, so how about you stop trying to push it then? Your insistence is why people believe you are trolling. If you aren't, then quit.

[StyleOnEm]

LOL this is one of the funniest threads I've read lately.

 

My ex has a bottle of perfume I got her as a birthday gift while we were still together -- so far we're almost 5 months of NC and the perfume hasn't done a thing. I'm just thinking about it from the dumper's perspective... RANDOMLY receiving perfume as a gift would confuse the **** out of her. And what if she doesn't even like that scent? Terrible idea, but I digress.

 

OP, if you seem so adamant about sending her a msg for Christmas, just freaking do it. Go against what everyone here has said -- and send it anyway. Then you'll get your answer. If you start feeling bad like everyone predicts you might, next time you'll know to trust the advice. And if it works out -- awesome. Either way it'll be a learning experience.

 

Sometimes you have to touch the burning stove to remember how hot it is.....

[Kizmet Fisher]

No, I am not promoting this method, and have never suggested it to a client. It was a method explained to me by another counselor who had success with it, and I am simply relating his experience with it. Nothing more.

 

 

And I have seen NC promoted on this board as a way to get your ex back many times. If you really don't believe me, perhaps you could do a search for it.

 

Ah counselors.. The poor man's psychologist.

[Trick1004]

Ah counselors.. The poor man's psychologist.

 

Hell, but I can't resist.

 

Maybe she works behind the perfume counter in a department store during the off season. What better place to rack-up some perfume sales?

 

Cancel that, maybe she works for a large department store trying to drive up perfume sales?

 

Tis the season

 

Trick

[nerdlingZA]

Nothing will stop this person from contact Ex , have been there. Abt the method of a gift , I've gifted my Ex something(that will last approx 2-3 years) for her B'day , she then opened up there after she became more interactive but I didn't know that it was used as a method , but then again NC is for the best. I'm on NC & I Careless about Xmas , its coming I won't bother her.

[RDawg]

I wish I had taken better note of what perfume my ex prefers.

[nerdlingZA]

I wish I had taken better note of what perfume my ex prefers.

 

There are many items besides a perfume

[RDawg]

That's true. Maybe some jewellery? She left a special antique metal tea tin at the house - I could send that to her with a nice silver necklace inside.

 

Hey Nerdling do you support the Springbucks?

[nerdlingZA]

Yeah buy her that , but don't contact her please. I do support springboks

[radiodarcy]

If i sent my ex a hand grenade. Would it be bad?

 

 

But yes NC over xmas and beyond. OP you will put yourself back to square one if you do this.

 

This is absolutely true. My last break up, I made the mistake of responding to a "Merry Christmas" text my ex sent me (he dumped me); then the New Years text a week later.

 

I thought maybe we could be friends again. So we gave it a try. About a month later, he casually mentioned he was looking to date again and gave me a rundown on all the girls he had been dating since he sent me that Christmas text and at that moment (I was not on that list). Needless to say, I went back to NC not long after that.

 

OP if he are prepared for a similar conversation, by all means go ahead and wish her a Merry Christmas. But it sounds like you're looking for something more. In wish case, you'd be better off sticking to NC. I know it's painful, but not nearly as painful as if you break it.

Edited December 11, 2013 by radiodarcy

[William]

Due to a report of a threadjack and a quick scan of the thread, we'll close this for review. Depending on results, it may return for discussion or remain read-only. Thanks for your participation!