rustygriswald Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Hi...I have a question...I'm in need of advice, clarity, male/female wisdom. I'm a 44yr old, male, father of one, separated for 2 yrs, I have my kid every other week. I have been seeing this woman for a year and a half now. She 42, never married, no kids, professional. Back story: we met on line, dated and took things slow for a month, month and a half. Became serious and exclusive (I hate that term btw) shortly thereafter. We had little in the way of issues, but some things became apparent after a months. Some of you may say this a role reversal...I get the irony. First, she plays in 3 different card leagues (poker). That means most Fridays and Saturdays are taken up with this activity. Next she hangs with her friends on some odd nights that she is 'free'. I am 'free' every second week and weekend...no activities are pre planned because I have no idea when she is going to lose out and go home early. The week days that I dont have my kid, we do see each other 2-3x, however I travel allot for my job (1x a month on avg I am away, out of country or state) so when I do I am gone for mon-fri. The weeks I do have my daughter, she isnt coming over to stay let alone visit. If she does its 1x at the most. So adding it up...we are together, maybe at most, 5-6 evenings per month. When we dont speak for those weird prolonged periods, I find I get a distant cold feeling so I start feeling lonely. When messaging, Her texts (we dont speak on the phone much) are short, and sparse versus mine. I just ran through them to make sure I was making this up. Phone conversations are rare. If you were wondering about...s*x. It's once a month at best. And its the vanilla, lights off, one position, not much noise kind that never really got steamy...not that I didnt try! I am a typical guy...so you do the math here...its not great (quality and quantity). Before you flame me for not having the marbles to split, please understand...my separation nearly killed me. It extinguished allot of esteem, confidence, and strength. So talking about this is very hard...that is why I'm here I Suppose. Am I crazy or is this supposed to be better than this? If it's over, how does one get up the courage to end it all? Should I? signed; Sleepless and lonely.
PegNosePete Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Am I crazy or is this supposed to be better than this? Err, yes. You're obviously not happy with your relationship. It is supposed to be better than this. It sounds as though she doesn't really care that much about you. If you allow things to continue as they are, then they will continue as they are (until she gets bored and dumps you). Next move is yours fella... are you going to accept this half-arsed relationship or move on to find something better? 1
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