princess_peach Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 We went out twice, just casual stuff (no dinner dates or anything like that), about a week apart. Met on OLD. It's been almost three weeks since the second date, and lately he's been acting a bit... odd. The last time he told me in no uncertain terms that he wants to see me was November 30th, and even then he said he couldn't. Since then, he doesn't text me as much as he used to, and he's been suspiciously quiet every time I mention getting together, mostly saying he doesn't have a vehicle available (he lives two towns away). Yesterday I mentioned that I could probably go and see him, and... no response. Then there's his second OLD profile, which I first noticed I think a few days, maybe almost a week ago when I signed in and saw his picture under Newest Users. I was curious and clicked on it, forgetting that he'd be able to see that I viewed him, but I wasn't going to say anything because we're obviously not exclusive, so it's really none of my business. Except... that profile has since been deleted, and he now has another one exactly the same, which I was careful not to click on while signed in. I'm trying not to be paranoid, but it does seem like he's trying to hide this from me, specifically. Up until now he was fun, responsive, and seemed like someone I might be able to actually trust. I don't want to screw it up, but I also don't want to waste my time with a guy who isn't what I want. I'm sure I could think of a way to ask him upfront what's going on without seeming needy, but I think it might be better if I just stop texting him, focus on other guys, and see if he tries harder. Just hoping for some second opinions. Thanks in advance
MidwestUSA Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 He's not interested, and doesn't have the balls to just tell you. So ignore him and focus on yourself and meeting others. Don't expect him to 'try harder', he's not even considering a minimal effort. 4
Zahara Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 He's lost interest. You went out twice and didn't invest much. Don't put all your eggs in this one little basket. When someone makes excuses not to see you and puts zero effort to make contact or make plans, you have your answer. Don't ask him when it's really obvious.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I'm going with the other posters here. He isn't interested any more. His lack of initiative and responses to your desire to get together speak volumes. You don't need to ask him what's up - it's fairly evident already. Cut your losses and find someone who is eager and willing to see you!
Author princess_peach Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Just had a thought... any idea how he might respond if I send a quick text politely telling him that I'm no longer interested? I hate when guys don't have the balls to be upfront.
Fondue Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Just had a thought... any idea how he might respond if I send a quick text politely telling him that I'm no longer interested? I hate when guys don't have the balls to be upfront. What would that lead to? Would you want him to chase you by "trying" to get you to like him again? Is that what you are going for, or are you just trying to leave this little courtship with some power, by announcing that you are done with HIM? It seems a bit immature. If you are looking for him to chase you by saying that comment, then he might. He might bed you, tell himself he won, and then ignore you after. You will feel even worse. You present him with a challenge and he will try to beat it. Or he might just say, "that's cool. Have a great life." Then you might feel bad because "he never cared." I'd say leave it be. 1
soccerrprp Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yeah, just leave it be. You not contacting him again would clearly indicate that you are no longer interested. No need to explicitly tell him.
Author princess_peach Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Way to take the fun out of dating. I'm trying to figure out ways to subtly recreate attraction in a guy that somehow inexplicably lost interest, not trying to lose a guy I might actually like. A lot of people here seem to give up too easily. Anyway, I won't type the exact words in case he's clever enough to Google it, but I'm basically telling him that I enjoyed seeing him, but his recent behavior is a turn off, and the door is open if he wants to try harder. Then I probably won't reply no matter what he says, unless he takes the bait and asks to see me. I'm honestly just curious to see if it'll work. At this point, I've already moved half-way toward on, so no need to worry about my feelings
snowflakes88 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Seems silly to send a message saying you're not interested to someone who is showing you 0 signs of interest. Took a peek at your post history though, and you seem to have an obsession w/ pushing the issue and trying to reignite interest when it's obvious a guy isn't interested in you.
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