MJ3 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Me and my husband are married for six years and know each other for eight years. He brokeup with me when I wanted to confront him about a girl (S) he had started showing interest in lately (they had exchanged about 200+ emails in 10 days). We havnt spoken to each other for 2 months since that day, although he occasionally tries to talk to me, cooks for me, emails me, to which I do not respond. We now live in separate bedrooms, which are situated on different floors and I try not to cross his paths. Flash back In 2009, we had a brief breakup of four months when he was caught spending excessive amount of time chatting with a girl (M) on the net. I asked him if they had sex, and he denied. He begged me to come back and even followed me to another country where I had gone to think and relax. That time I asked him to cut any and all contact with M to which he agreed and promised. Now After our "so called" breakup, I found out that he actually did not break any contact with this girl (M) and they have been calling, chatting, texting and meeting. I blindly trusted him for all these years and now I am very hurt and angry. I feel deceived and betrayed. He is unaware that I have found out about his constant day-night contact with M and I would like to know if I should confront him on my latest discovery or let time take its own course. Right now I am going through a roller-coaster of emotions. I have lost seven kgs in the last two months and am on anti-depressants. I have been writing and keeping a diary about my feelings, but it has not been very helpful. I sit and talk to myself, assuming he is in front of me and vent my anger and cry. Still to no avail. I want to heal. I feel I should sort this issue with him one-to-one and ask him WHY?? On the other hand I am not sure if this is the right approach. I am also not sure if I want to reconcile or divorce. We do not have any children/dependants. I am going to my parents house coming holidays for 10 days and hope to get a few answers. My family is unaware of my problems, because both my parents are not keeping well and it will add to their pain. My friends are very supportive and they say I should just divorce and move on. Please, I need guidance. Note: My husband is also obsessed with pornography. I am not sure if this is relevant but just thought of mentioning it. He watches porn every single day alone.
PegNosePete Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I feel I should sort this issue with him one-to-one and ask him WHY?? Why do you need to ask him that? You already know the answer. The only answer that matters, that is. He did it because he wanted to do it. Anything else is just irrelevant. Fact is he wanted to do it so he did it. If he didn't want to then he wouldn't have done it. The sooner you can come to realize this and stop chasing other excuses or reasons, the better for you. I am also not sure if I want to reconcile or divorce. Well he has a history of lying and cheating. After you caught him last time, he has obviously not changed in the slightest. If you give him yet another chance then do you really think it won't happen again? Really you need to wake up and smell the coffee here. This guy is a cheater. Once a cheater... twice a cheater....... really do you think there won't be a 3rd time? If you take him back then you are showing him that he can get away with anything he likes. 1
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