I don't understand anything anymore

[Dam]

I've been with this girl for almost a year,last year of high school and now into college.We were really great together but she had a ton of bad thought,pessimism,was always scared i would get bored or dump her etc.We had a break in the summer,she acted really mean and it would have turned into a break up.She said I was suffocating her and then that she didn't feel anything for me.I managed meet with her at the seaside on a trip during the summer and we talked and i calmed her down.The months that came after that were great,she was closer than ever,we even got intimate,she told me she loves me and it was bassically heaven.We started doing a lot of things together.

 

When college started she sort of fell into a depression with her best friend leaving for another country,her not liking the college,I was there for her but she closed up,she didn't want to go out with anybody,but she told me that it wasn't related to me.We started getting into fights because of the lack of talk.For two months we didn;t go out,but she started behaving ****ty only for the last 2 weeks. It's like all her bad emotions got channeled on me.

She broke up with me telling me that she didn't love me anymore.From what i found out she also told her friends,well my friends basically since they are closer to me,that she doesn;t want responsibility during college,or the first year.She wants to have fun.

 

I said ok...tried to accept it,tried to move on.We decided to stay firends.Then after five days ,i think, we bumped into one another at prom. She was a bit dizzy but tried to talk to me ,i ignored her and then she started crying.I took her outside and she told me that she still loved me,but she can't be in a relationship,can't commit.

 

I she kept addmiting this when we talked a few days later, and was rather nice with me,telling me that maybe we should try and fix it but not now,that i should give it time.

For two weeks we didn't speak.I accidentally went past her without saying 'hi' and it got her pissed. She went on a trip to another country to see her friend and i sent her a text telling her to think about everything. The thing is her friend doesn;t really like me,she was always jealous that i was getting more attention then her.So after a few days there she posted some stupid song with the message to basically snap out of it.Probably she talked to her friend who has the same ideas with having fun in college and crap...

 

she came back we didn't talk but I got a text from her yesterday with"it's been a while since we broke up.you should man up and accept that. if i loved you we would still be together but we aren't."...This really pissed me off...she was the one who messed me up and didn't even want to talk face to face.I know deep down she still cares and loves me,but right now it's like I'm the bad guy. I don't know what to do,I still don't know if she hooked up with anyone on the trip,though we are broken up but still,she told her friend she has no more feelings,but then again she did this when we broke up and even in the summer.

 

I got angry and wrote a text telling her that this is a very immature way of dealing with things and that I'm sick of her ****ty behavior,that she did more harm than good to me,she should grow up...basically telling her for the frist time in a very brutal way everything that pisses me off.I didn't send the text yet.It would make her really angry and hurt her in some way...but i really want to send it,i don't like being taken for a fool.

 

The thing is what should I do,say nothing ,ignore her,no contact, focus on myself and if she gets over this phase and comes back good,or send her the text so she realises I'm not a doormat,and again move on and see what happens.She knows how much i love her and has the assurance that i'm always there for her.I think that's why during prom she broke,for the first time she felt like really losing me,but now i don't know...any advice would be useful.It's hard because we still see each other at certain classes,we have the same friends...