What does he really mean?

[Yazmeen]

There is this work associate who I have not seen in a few months. Yesterday, he came to the office and we had the opportunity to talk. He asked me whether I was married. I said not and did not think much of this question, because I had been working long hours on a project and I thought that he wanted to know whether this affected my relationship. He also remembered a few details of the conversation we had two months ago and asked me my age.

 

I saw him again today. For some strange reason, he mentions that he has a girlfriend, who, coincidentally enough, is the same age as myself -- I did not comment on the girlfriend or age issue. Moreover, as I was ready to go home, he even took it upon himself to walk me to the elevator.

 

He is a very kind and endearing man. However, in view of a few personal traits, I would never would have considered him as dating material. So, I never flirted with him and just carried on as two colleagues or friends would, and did not show any signs of disappointment with regard to the mention of the girlfriend. I think that this may have upset him as he was so insistent upon walking me to the elevator.

 

I will be seeing him again soon and just don't know what to do. We get along really great, but I do not want to be the other woman. However, if he is not a player and I continue to act indifferent towards him, I fear that he just may upset him and ruin our friendship.

 

I just wish I knew what he meant and what he wants.

 

Thanks in advance for your much needed help.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Yazmeen

[ShyGuy5]

Shot in the dark, maybe he thinks you are into him and he is trying to let you down easy

[Yazmeen]

Thanks for your response.

 

I doubt it. I have never shown interest in this man whatsoever. Frankly, I was surprised when he mentioned an anecdote I told him over two months ago. He was the one who asked if I was married then started this "girlfriend" bit.

 

I am a very reasonable person. Had he merely retracted his question about the husband, I would have made light of the situation and moved on. However, he suddenly became very kind and concerned and continually muttered about him and his girlfriend. Then, as I was about to leave, he was upset because I told him that I did not need him to escort me to the elevator. Regardless, he did so.

 

I am still confused and quite nervous. Romantic relationship stuff aside, I am worried that I may blow our working relationship.

[Yazmeen]

Thanks for the candid response, j. It is greatly appreciated.

 

You are right, I will have to confront him. I am straightforward with everyone and expect the same of others. I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately and this guy has really thrown me off kilter.