have a company with the married lover?

[vanellope]

I am with a married man for one and half year now, before our relatinoship is like couple, we talk sweet, have sex and planning future togethter. but last month we talk all thing out, he make his mind that he won't divorce and he told me he let me find my own family with another man, at that time I did try to do no contact with him,becasue i am very sad. but later we did decide to be friends with each other. honestly i still love him very much, that's why i agree to be friend instead stranger. he told me he still love me too, why we need destroy everything we have.

 

the point is, before we did plan our future and we want to build business together and both of us feel each other is a good partner if one day we open business. this idea somehow i cancel it in my mind when he told me he cannot divorce and marry me. i feel it's a bit complex that we are not really pure friendship (from my side, becasue i do have feeling for this person) and later if open business, we will have money involved. his point is he want to build something with me and then we can see each other often in a normal setting. I did convienced by this idea sometime but he also mension that his wife might work with us together and can manage the finance part. I told him if we have business then i don't want her involve but he told me he trust his wife and at the beginning we need to save expanse and so on.

 

since we decide to be friends, we recently talk less about future thing, but yesterday he start want to plan the business things with me and ask my openion often again, he say he want to start it with me, but i tell him i am not ready for that, i just feel all the things is very strange, is anyone here encounter this before? in fact it's not bad things i know becasue both of us might make money by new company, but in my mind i am not very willing to do this now becasue i dont want see he and her together in front my eyes i feel sad to see that, but in the other hand like he say, it's also the chance that we can see each other often.

 

I am confused, he think i don't do company with him now is becasue i don't trust his ability for business and don't want to see him often. he also told me and say why i connect the company thing with the marrage thing which mean why he cant marry me equal i can do business with him.

 

i really cannot explain why i am like that, before i do want to have company with him, but after he told me he will not marry me and then i change my mind too. why is that?

[Cinnimon]

If you still have feelings for him and he has chosen to stay married I don't see how you can remain friends and especially run a business together.

It doesn't sound like your comfortable with any of this.

[vanellope]

if do business together, we can no need to hide and see each other often in a normal situation.

 

it's not confertable for my side becasue later i will need to work with he and his wife. she know our things becasue he told her, so sometimes i don't understand why he still want to open company with me in this situation.

 

i also don't know why his wife accept this.

[Snipercatt]

What kind of business? In which country? I ask so that I can help you determine the success ratio for this business endeavor.

[vanellope]

the business might success or fail, but now what i am thinking if i should open with this person. we will be co-founder of the company, and we both have experience in doing business.

[Snipercatt]

New businesses have a pretty reliable record of failing. The ratio of failure is dependent on the type of business and the market for that business in the specific country.

 

Add to that the fact that the wife will be doing the finances and I'm dumbfounded why you would set yourself up for ths kind of anxiety and failure?

 

Don't quit your day job.

[vanellope]

New businesses have a pretty reliable record of failing. The ratio of failure is dependent on the type of business and the market for that business in the specific country.

 

Add to that the fact that the wife will be doing the finances and I'm dumbfounded why you would set yourself up for ths kind of anxiety and failure?

 

Don't quit your day job.

 

 

thank you Snipercatt, are you man or woman?

 

for the business things, i think before really start it, need to plan more and get more information to make the success ratio increase. i understand new business is not easy, but my problem now is i am not sure if i should invest my time to plan and think about business things with him.

 

i don't like his wife invlove it, even maybe she has some finance background and trustable. i dont know, i will prefer to hire a professional accountant doing that job instead.

[Snipercatt]

You'd be best to plan your business without involving MM, as any ownership he has would be a marital asset which means his wife is involved, particularily if he is disabled, or dies.

 

i will prefer to hire a professional accountant doing that job instead.

 

there's your answer to that. Do your start up costs assuming you'd hire out the accounting piece.

[vanellope]

You'd be best to plan your business without involving MM, as any ownership he has would be a marital asset which means his wife is involved, particularily if he is disabled, or dies.

 

you give me a new aspect, i haven't consider in this view point.

i think even the business run well, i will get a unbalance feelings.

[Nothisgirl]

I am sorry to put this so bluntly but not only is he being a selfish jerk to not respect your need for NC after he "all of a sudden" decides he's not leaving his W but I also feel he is using you for potential financial gain as far as the business is concerned...I'd be willing to wager that most of the business start up funds would come from you :/

 

I'm really sorry, this just screams disaster to me and I think you should run fast, in the other direction, and get as far as you can from this man and his wife

 

I know you have real feelings so it's not easy but I think he will continue to lead you on as long as you allow it...he sounds like a typical cake eater ... Wish you the best of luck

[MissBee]

I see nothing but disaster coming from attempting to form a company with your ex-AP for whom you still have feelings. BAD idea! Don't do it. You already feel uncomfortable with it, for obvious reasons, listen to yourself about that and don't live to regret it.

[vanellope]

thank you.

 

I will not do that with him right now, because it's just too complex for me.

and i know if i can't run the business with all my effort, company will fail easily anyway and people involved will even more unhappy than now.

[Lillyfree]

well if nothing else, there's a good chance that if you do start a business with him, you could be free of any romantic feeling towards him a lot sooner

 

joke aside, i agree with everyone who has said no so far. one big NO from me as well

[d0nnivain]

You cannot run a successful business that makes you happy if you don't trust your business partner.

 

There is too much water under the bridge for you two to start fresh.

 

Plus I'm assuming his wife doesn't know about your affair. What will that do to the business when she finds out?

[vanellope]

You cannot run a successful business that makes you happy if you don't trust your business partner.

 

There is too much water under the bridge for you two to start fresh.

 

Plus I'm assuming his wife doesn't know about your affair. What will that do to the business when she finds out?

 

His wife know that, becasue he did tell her our things, and they did try to discuss seperate issue and so on.

 

and i trust him, becasue there are really much between he and me before.

i say before, is becasue before we did try to plan our future together and how to be really together in life, but after he tell his wife our things, of course his wife cannot accept it, and he finally find out our relationship is not good for his family becasue it makes a unstable mother, and his kids be effected.

 

well, after go thought this, i realized that althought i think this man might really love me, but when reality come out, kids and family always the first piority he want to protect to, not me.

 

and his idea of doing business with me, first is he think i am good business partner, he admire my ability in work and he trust me. second is running own company is his dream always and it's mines too. we both have good job now.

Edited December 12, 2013 by vanellope