What is wrong with you people !

[MoooOinkBaaa]

What a passive aggressive reply, completely discarded every you said. Not a real friend in my opinion, you lose credibility when you can't even respond to a simple text.

[Lennon]

I don't care what people want to hear. It serves no purpose to enable that fantasy. I realize you are in white knight mode, but I'm not going to call a spade a diamond to make someone feel better temporarily right now. I'm going to try to give them the advice so they can feel better for longer down the road. They don't have to take it, but I'm not going to tell them something that's counterproductive because they want me to. That just wastes everyone's time.

 

 

Simon, you misunderstood,

I didn't mean it like we should give him hope,

I was just saying that is what he wants to hear and the perspective of most dumpees. If you read my previous posts in this thread, I agree with you guys. I have also said the ball is in her court and he should let her be.

I'm just trying to calm the dude down, he lashed out, he was angry.

I'm just saying from his perspective, that is what he wants to hear but everybody should continue to give him the advice they are giving without attacking him, it may cause him to make a rash **** you decision and contact her again. I apologise if I may have ruffled anybodies feathers.

[loveiswar101]

What a passive aggressive reply, completely discarded every you said. Not a real friend in my opinion, you lose credibility when you can't even respond to a simple text.

 

So replying "thanks xxx" is passive aggressive.

 

They would be speaking, texting every night and probably thoughtout the day, since BU last Thursday.

 

I could of quite easily replied with the truth,

 

"Hi, well not good, haven't eaten, haven't slept, can't stop thinking about how much I miss her and more""

 

Obviously would of gone back to my ex, where would that leave me. Clingy, weak etc.

 

"Thanks xxx" was what I felt at the time, polite in my eyes and recognizing she's concerned.

[SameOldFear]

Our goal is to better ourselves as people and learn to leave the past in the past and not dwell on the negative. The reason people stay is to share their experiences with others going through the same thing. There's nothing "wrong" with us.

[Simon Phoenix]

Simon, you misunderstood,

I didn't mean it like we should give him hope,

I was just saying that is what he wants to hear and the perspective of most dumpees. If you read my previous posts in this thread, I agree with you guys. I have also said the ball is in her court and he should let her be.

I'm just trying to calm the dude down, he lashed out, he was angry.

I'm just saying from his perspective, that is what he wants to hear but everybody should continue to give him the advice they are giving without attacking him, it may cause him to make a rash **** you decision and contact her again. I apologise if I may have ruffled anybodies feathers.

 

I think you went a bit too far into white knight mode. It's fine. No worries. Subject dropped.

[Lokie]

I think I can see everyone's point, including loveiswar101's. Agreed OP, you did come out swinging. To me, you were feeling powerless by the break-up and weren't able to say what you really wanted which sounds to me like some loving support. I believe you need to specifically ask for that here, along with asking for no advice or criticism, and even then, you may get few responses. LS just isn't that kind of place, for better or worse (I think for better), because we have loved and lost and learned. Even when some poster's tone is not kind or warm, we are all trying to save you from the pain we experienced. There may be other message boards that hand out warm fuzzies.

 

I think people can be harsh, terse, tough because we all know what it feels like to be in denial and think our own love stories are unique, only to find out we were delusional. We may have seen lips moving, or read words on a page, but I would venture to say that most of us thought, "oh, they just don't know the strength/intensity/power, etc. of OUR love." What I have found after having gone this way a couple times is that I was too afraid to hear the truth when my heart was in lockdown and my life appeared to be falling apart. There are some commonalities in these situations - it's just true.

 

I think we all want you to heal and grow and feel better - and we are giving you the best advice we believe will get you to that end.

 

Take care of you!

 

L

[loveiswar101]

Thanks. Yes I did come out swinging but looking for something, I'm a believer of goodness, we split not nasty and we had many a good time. So yes I was looking for someone too say there's a light end of tunnel. Look I love her and its a hard road. So glad that I got a bit of closure on what has happened when I spoke to my therapist yesterday. As in another post I was positive this morning until I got a text from her best friend asking if I was OK. Big set back at time as mind starts travelling again. Just gotta control those thoughts and emotions, ta.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

guys take it easy on him,

he's in pain after losing a loved one, you all went through it, you guys learned your lessons and now have the experience to deal with break ups. He's grieving a loved one, like me and many others on this site. People lash out when their in pain. None of you can say you haven't.

 

Alot of you guys are veterans on this site. I haven't read this guys story but I have read every post on this thread and your taking it very personally for such emotionally evolved people and with some posts a little cruel such as the "hahahaha" post.

 

I just lost the first girl i ever loved and I keep making the mistakes of breaking N/C and going N/C but i think each time I open that wound it makes me stronger and recover faster than the first initial blow. I'm learning.

 

The worst thing about this grieve is the person is still alive and breathing.

You can't bring back the dead no matter how much you want to and logic forces you to move on. They are not coming back but when you lose someone who's still living, there's always that illogical emotional hope of "bringing them back from the dead"

 

I do agree with alot of everybody's comments on this forum N/C for healing, and if you do get another chance at the relationship you have to be past the grieving stage and finding happiness in yourself again.

Before I met my ex I was really coming into my own as a person, growing into the person I wanted to be. I was even happier with her but when she left she took a piece of me with her. I want my ex back more than anything but I want myself back first and a better version of that self. Maybe I'll get her back, maybe I won't but I'll be a better person because of her and I will forever thank her for that even if she doesn't know it but the next girl that comes along will get the 2.0 version of me and if again rejection happens, i ask if theres any way to resolve it, I feel so and if not i'll bow gracefully out of her life and walk away with my dignity intact.

 

Take it easy on the dude. Grief drives us crazy. I know I was completely losing mine over for two months and the fogs only beginning to clear.

 

They are right though OP, I don't your entire situation but the ball IS in her court, she knows it, you don't have to keep reminding her. Give her the space she needs.

 

Other posters. I know your feeling slighted but have some compassion, I've been on here for a month now for advice, reading other peoples experiences. I would actually be quite hurt if you reacted the same way to me.

 

N/C is a very hard pill to swallow. Severing somebody so important to you is f**king hard thing to accept.

 

I think I'm just rambling now, I'm tired.

 

peace

 

How's the weather on that high horse you're on?

[Simon Phoenix]

Thanks. Yes I did come out swinging but looking for something, I'm a believer of goodness, we split not nasty and we had many a good time. So yes I was looking for someone too say there's a light end of tunnel. Look I love her and its a hard road. So glad that I got a bit of closure on what has happened when I spoke to my therapist yesterday. As in another post I was positive this morning until I got a text from her best friend asking if I was OK. Big set back at time as mind starts travelling again. Just gotta control those thoughts and emotions, ta.

 

It's not our job to tell you what you want to hear and if that's what you are looking for, then you are in the wrong place.

[loveiswar101]

It's not our job to tell you what you want to hear and if that's what you are looking for, then you are in the wrong place.

 

You're a bundle of fun Simon.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

You're a bundle of fun Simon.

 

I really think she wants you back in the worst way. I think you should send that letter. She needs to see how devoted you are to her and how much you care. Yes, she broke up with you, but this really isn't the end. Not by a long shot. She wants you to chase her man. Give it the full court press. Send her flowers at work, that note...maybe a couple Christmas gifts. She doesn't want you to stop. No contact is for the weak. Everyone is telling you to do it because they are scared. Dont be scared and take the leap and keep pressing her.

 

I think that pretty much clears up what you wanted to hear. Keep moving forward is your only option and will continue to be until you accept it.

[Simon Phoenix]

You're a bundle of fun Simon.

 

I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[Haydn]

Simon this sense of humour is what i needed on this freezing morning.

 

Thanks mate.

 

 

I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[Lennon]

How's the weather on that high horse you're on?

 

its a my little pony figurine :]

[Lennon]

its a my little pony figurine :]

 

plus i'm from ireland i could be sitting atop the wooden horse of troy and the weather would still suck :]