MzAttitude Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I have talked to him about how i feel and the question is how many times have i had the same talk. His theory is...we've been together this long so why Would i throw all those years away and my theory is..if those years Meant so much why haven't you married me. I think he is just afraid of losing me that he will say what i want to hear just to keep me from leaving for good but he may think im not serious since i always come back to him so i think he think im a joke. Wat u think? I mean im not getting any younger and he just have an excuse for everything and im just TIRED AND FED UP! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY RIGHT?
pteromom Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 More info... how old are you? How old is he? How long have you been together? When you say you deserve to be happy, what do you mean? What would make you happy? What reason does he give for not wanting to get married? Will getting married solve the issues in your relationship and finally make you happy?
ponchsox Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 You make yourself happy. Nobody else can do that for you. Only you know what's best for yourself.
Author MzAttitude Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 We have been together for 9 1/2 years now. His reason for not getting married was our finances. His excuse was always that he wanted our finances to be right first before we got married but i was like our finances should not be an excuse and if you truly love me you would marry me. Well yes we have had problems but nothing major that couldnt be fixed so over the years my feelings have shifted and i dont want to get married now and i have told him that im not in love with him like i use to be but that i still loved him. He thought i was just saying that to hurt him bur o wasn't it was the truyh about how i feel. So he took me the very next day to pay down on engagement rings bt that didnt change hpw i truly felt so i hv told myself to see how things go and since april this year we hv not paid anything on the rings so they are gone and he acts like everything is ok bt i feel deep down in my heart he just did that to keep me from leaving. Now i dont want to ne just married but i want to move away out of state with new environment. Im 34 he 37. Wat do i do?
pteromom Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Now i dont want to ne just married but i want to move away out of state with new environment. Im 34 he 37. Wat do i do? Well... there you go. You no longer want to marry him. He doesn't make you happy. You want to move away and start fresh. So do it. There's no reason to stay in the relationship just out of some sense of obligation or seeing it through. If you aren't happy and you don't see a path to happiness within the relationship, move on. 2
CaliBabe Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 9 1/2 years!!! If he hasn't proposed yet, he most likely won't. I know it will be hard, but I would go and find someone more suitable for you and who wants the same things as well (marriage). There are men out there who want commitment and marriage. Go find him. 1
Author MzAttitude Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 I have told him how i felt in the past when i was leaving him bt im not sure how to approach it this time even though it will be the same reason. I just need some insight on what kind of approach i should take. I still love him and care and we have a child together so im not trying tp be mean and i want to remain good friends after the breakup. Any suggestions anyone?
pteromom Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Just be honest, calm, and logical. Be firm but kind. 1
hestheone66 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I think a swift clean honest break.he definitely has been taking you for granted.. But you cant have fantasies of fresh start in another state because your reality is you have a child together. He may be relieved when you leave as having someone constantly unhappy can be very draining..also consider how you will feel if he meets and then marries someone else..
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