3 months since the BU and I'm feeling good

[aaron11892]

It is 3 months today that my silly, immature ex decided to leave me for no reason at all. I still have no answers and to be honest, I'm not even that interested to find out now.

 

To sum up how I'm feeling now, it would be pretty neutral towards her. The anger has almost gone and I don't feel like I love her anymore. I have forgiven her for leaving me, not because she deserves forgiveness but because I deserve peace. Once I came to terms with this, letting go became a little easier.

 

I'm not going to lie, I still have a little bit of hope that she contacts me and tells me how big of a mistake she has made and wants me back. I don't think I really want her back now but I'd like to know she is feeling miserable but what are the chances of that happening? lol

 

In these last 3 months, she has not made a single attempt to contact me. Neither directly or indirectly such as through a mutual friend. Absolutely nothing at all. This just shows how much she wanted the break up and shows me how I'm better off without her. How can someone who says you mean the world to them suddenly get cold feet and never talk to you again? It makes no sense.

 

I haven't been on this site for 2 weeks. I feel that is a sign of recovery as I haven't really thought about her too much and haven't felt the need to go looking for answers on how to get her back. It is truely over. I don't feel anything for her anymore, just numb.

 

The days have been getting better and she is on my mind a lot, lot less than before. I am still recovering but I'm a million times better to what I was feeling after the BU.

 

This thread is just to tell you that things do get better. I hit rock bottom and never thought I'd ever feel better. Time really is a healer and I beleive that is the only thing which will help you get over the break up. No magic words or tips can change that.

 

I can finally see the light and I will carry on my life without her.

[AlphaC]

I know how you feel my man, my ex went ice too. Time for you to move on, the cat is out of the bag, she doesn't care for you and you know what, you don't have to care for her either.

 

As a man you will get better with time, keep your chin up and handle it, keep moving forward. The day she finally contacts you I would suggest you do one thing -NOTHING. Make her wait just as long as she made you wait for contact. If you were able to handle all this time without contacting her she will be able to handle the same. Honestly, if i were you I would never, ever ever ever talk to her again.

 

I will tell you another thing that has probably crossed your mind, she is with someone else. The reason why she is quiet is because she either (1) she has no intention of returning to the relationship or (2) she is with another man. But dude, i know women too well and women don't think rationally, they think with their emotions thus (1) is probably not the case.

 

It's been 3 months, that's around the time the honeymoon with the new cat seems to expire, she'll one day get dumped and you will hear back from her, hold tight, value yourself and you'll meet a better woman in no time. The fact that you are posting here is because you are hurt and you are a caring person, there is someone good out there for you, that person is not your ex!

[organizedchaos]

If anything OP, it's nice to see I'm not alone in how I got dumped out of the blue, for apparently no reason other than GIGS. We weren't fighting, no cheating. She just decided after 2.5 years to walk away. I'm 4.5 months post BU, there was LC up until 3 weeks ago when I went hardcore NC. She texted me on thanksgiving. But I truly believe it's over and trying to move on.

[aaron11892]

I know how you feel my man, my ex went ice too. Time for you to move on, the cat is out of the bag, she doesn't care for you and you know what, you don't have to care for her either.

 

As a man you will get better with time, keep your chin up and handle it, keep moving forward. The day she finally contacts you I would suggest you do one thing -NOTHING. Make her wait just as long as she made you wait for contact. If you were able to handle all this time without contacting her she will be able to handle the same. Honestly, if i were you I would never, ever ever ever talk to her again.

 

I will tell you another thing that has probably crossed your mind, she is with someone else. The reason why she is quiet is because she either (1) she has no intention of returning to the relationship or (2) she is with another man. But dude, i know women too well and women don't think rationally, they think with their emotions thus (1) is probably not the case.

 

It's been 3 months, that's around the time the honeymoon with the new cat seems to expire, she'll one day get dumped and you will hear back from her, hold tight, value yourself and you'll meet a better woman in no time. The fact that you are posting here is because you are hurt and you are a caring person, there is someone good out there for you, that person is not your ex!

 

That is what I intend to do, I will not respond to anything from her. I kinda just want the ego boost knowing she made a mistake lol

 

It has crossed my mind that she is with someone else but I really don't think she is. She recently popped up on my instagram feed and pictures are of just her and friends out partying. No guys but I really don't care anymore. Either there is no guy in the picture or there is and she is hiding it really well..

 

Either way, what's done is done. Let her carry on. I know I was the best boyfriend she has ever had, she told me herself, even her mom and sister said they never seen her so happy with someone. Looks like she has emotional issues, things get a little tough and she calls it quits. Well goodbye, I don't want a woman who runs away from problems.

 

These 3 months have made me realize how she just never was good for me in the long run.

[aaron11892]

If anything OP, it's nice to see I'm not alone in how I got dumped out of the blue, for apparently no reason other than GIGS. We weren't fighting, no cheating. She just decided after 2.5 years to walk away. I'm 4.5 months post BU, there was LC up until 3 weeks ago when I went hardcore NC. She texted me on thanksgiving. But I truly believe it's over and trying to move on.

 

I think mine left to GIGS aswell but I'm not sure frankly I've come to the stage where I don't care anymore. I've stopped questioning myself as to what happened. Let them carry on. People who just walk out of your life don't deserve any of the love you have to give them. These 3 months have given me so much time to think about things and realize my worth. My ex was a worthless slut before she met me. Told me she regrets the past and wanted to be with me and marry me, have kids and all that bull****. I guess she's out doing the same thing as before. Good luck to her she's gonna need it lol

 

She'll hit breaking point one day realizing all these guys want is sex and then she'll wonder what she threw away. Oh well, I won't be there for her.

[organizedchaos]

I think mine left to GIGS aswell but I'm not sure frankly I've come to the stage where I don't care anymore. I've stopped questioning myself as to what happened. Let them carry on. People who just walk out of your life don't deserve any of the love you have to give them. These 3 months have given me so much time to think about things and realize my worth. My ex was a worthless slut before she met me. Told me she regrets the past and wanted to be with me and marry me, have kids and all that bull****. I guess she's out doing the same thing as before. Good luck to her she's gonna need it lol

 

She'll hit breaking point one day realizing all these guys want is sex and then she'll wonder what she threw away. Oh well, I won't be there for her.

 

 

 

I hear ya, man. Similar story here. I know I was the best bf she will ever have. Even one of her friends said to me recently "I don't know why she ended things with you, I've said it to her many times. You're a wonderful man and I hope you find someone who truly appreciates all that you are." Which fits well with her personality. She's selfish and doesn't realize what she's giving up. And she's 33 and starting all over again. Her last bf before me has already gotten married. I think she has this cycle of never being satisfied and she will either marry someone totally wrong for her or will end up never being able to fully commit to someone.

[xUnknown]

To sum up how I'm feeling now, it would be pretty neutral towards her.

 

Same here man. I'm doing much better. Rekindled a friendship with a love of mine that is still there mutually. I've realized that my ex, was really a rebound for this girl. Hopefully things go differently this time around. I'm taking it extremely slow...letting the chips fall as they may.

[devilish innocent]

In my many years of reading about and observing relationships, I've found that teenage girls seldom follow through when they say they want to settle down and marry a particular guy.

 

Teenagers usually just want to dream about a lifetime together because it seems new and romantic at the start. Then when it becomes work and stability, they find they're not really ready for it.

 

Did she ever want to sit down and work through the hard parts of building a future together, or did she just want to dream about the fantasy with a goofy smile on her face?

 

Do yourself a favor, ask yourself if such immature fantasies are worth being annoyed about, then let go of any remaining anger.

[btvdts]

Same boat my man. 2.5 years, and 2 months living together, she dumped me. I'd like to add though that she had two amazing little girls wh I treated like princesses. What's crazy is how the ex has severe headaches(from brain rumors) and I'd go out of my way to comfort her EVERYDAY and yet GIGS man. Another guy? My gut feelings said so. her becoming suspicious for a month or so didn't help. what I've learned? One a relationship isn't a loan and I won't get my time back that I spent on her. I regret nothing except her becoming cold. I'm on 1.5 month of NC. Moved 1000 miles away and still she didn't bother to just see if I made it. when we were together there were times I'd barely had enough money to eat because I'd given it to her to support her girls(lost her job). yet I wasn't good enough the minute she got back on her feet and I was down. She kicked me when I was down. do I still love her? No. I love who I thought she was.