HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 He does not want me or he would be here now & he has a new GF so why can I not let go... I want to let go so badly and I know he is NEVER coming back so why do I still sometimes believe he will... I know its never going to happen... why cant I switch this off and move on x
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 You are going through the emotions. You will feel like this for a little bit. You know he is not coming back; he has someone else. What steps have you taken for YOURSELF, to get over this mess?
Fufu Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 You are going through the roller-coaster moods and it's normal to feel this way. If we are able to switch our emotions on and off, then we are just a robot and not humans anymore. Take it easy, do something to break free from this emotion. 2
Just smile Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I wish I knew my ex had someone else because I gotta tell ya it would make this easier for me. I broke it off with him this time, but he didn't seem to care , so it was justified on more than one count. If I suspected another girl in the picture already, I could cut him off like a tumor. Because then I would realize its dead. What makes it difficult for me is deep down I know my man is incapable of being in a relationship, and this has nothing to do with wanting another woman, so what I am about to say is gonna sound harsh . If he has moved on with another girl, he does NOT love you. And if he did, another woman wouldn't even be on the forefront of his mind. Cut him off. 1
radiodarcy Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Because even though he's moved on, you're still emotionally invested in the relationship. Unfortanately it's the nature of the beast in break ups - - particularly, when the break up wasn't mutual and you've been dumped. I've been there - - everyone has at one point or another. But that doesn't make it any less painful or frustrating to struggle to move forward when the dumper sails on without so much as a backwards glance. All you can do is focus on you, allow yourself to feel the pain and keep pushing forward with NC. And of course, post here as much as you need to. It really does help to have a place to go to where there are other people who can relate to what you're going through.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Thanks everyone x This saga just seems never ending... he now owes my dad some money for a parking fine he got on my dads car and my dad has chased this twice now by txt and not even had a response... Why would be do this, he knows i will end up jumping in (Im in NC currently)... he's supposed to be all happy and moved on yet he seems to want to drag issues out with the ex's family this makes no sense to me ... I just want it all to go away x
Kizmet Fisher Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Thanks everyone x This saga just seems never ending... he now owes my dad some money for a parking fine he got on my dads car and my dad has chased this twice now by txt and not even had a response... Why would be do this, he knows i will end up jumping in (Im in NC currently)... he's supposed to be all happy and moved on yet he seems to want to drag issues out with the ex's family this makes no sense to me ... I just want it all to go away x I think you're overanalysing this. He hasn't paid the money because no one likes spending money on lame things like parking fines, and he probably thinks that since you guys are no longer together he can get away with not paying your dad back. His behaviour shows he has moved on. As hard as it is you need to stop thinking about why he does the things he does and just concentrate on yourself.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Thank you x I would usually totally agree only he knows my dad has not been well and is under a lot of stress and how much he worries over things like this so it seems to unfair to not even give him a quick response x So fed up x
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 I broke NC after 6 weeks... thankfully it escalated into a row thanks to him and I very quickly established what an absolute t**t he is.. I had only broken NC about a practical matter... I actually feel ready to move on now... no more counting each day, no more wondering, no more searching for "will he come back", "does my ex still love me" my ex wont come back because I wont have him back why on earth would i want to associate with someone like that... I think Ive cracked it... only took me 5 months! If that hadnt happened I would still be feeling desperately sad... sometimes breaking NC does work just maybe not in the way u may expect ! xx
Simon Phoenix Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I broke NC after 6 weeks... thankfully it escalated into a row thanks to him and I very quickly established what an absolute t**t he is.. I had only broken NC about a practical matter... I actually feel ready to move on now... no more counting each day, no more wondering, no more searching for "will he come back", "does my ex still love me" my ex wont come back because I wont have him back why on earth would i want to associate with someone like that... I think Ive cracked it... only took me 5 months! If that hadnt happened I would still be feeling desperately sad... sometimes breaking NC does work just maybe not in the way u may expect ! xx I hope this is true and not just a contact high. However, a lot of people claim this, then a week or two later feel the need to "clear the air" again, especially after a "row" -- which I'm assuming is some sort of European term for an argument. So yeah, it's a little early for a victory dance. Just be sure not to break it again.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 I know exactly what u mean Ive been there before!... I dont feel angry I just feel like Ive let go... I still feel sad it ended as it did, something so good that turned so bad but its made me realise its not me with the problem... Id been blaming myself so much... breaking NC just confirmed that. Ill still grieve for a while but it has extinguished the hope and now I know I would never have him back its just a case of 'time healing' and no definitely will not break it again.. Maybe I am speaking too soon but I cant say I have felt this calm about it all anywhere along the line and I really believe the difference was made when I realised that I wouldnt have him back x
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