redshift Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 It's only been 2 months since my 5 year girlfriend/fiancee broke it off. I just keep reliving everything. I loved her like no other. She was the only one in the hospital when my mother died. She's been there for everything. I have no other close friends and no one I talk to has any understanding of my loss. She meant everything to me. We spent 3 years apart and cried every time we met up and left (Maybe once every 3 months). I hugged her and tried not to cry on August 8th, when I left for home, we had just moved my things from Miami to Charlotte, I had to get some interview lined up. October 8th she calls to break if off because she "needs her husband to be her religious leader". I'm atheist, and she's known if for 5 years. I try to be mad, I try to hate her, how could she do this to me? I just can't, I really love her. Every day sucks because I don't have anything waiting at the end. I'm tired of being alone, I work 12 hours a day 6 days a week, I have no time or prospect of finding any new friends and I lost the only ones I had because of the breakup. Suicide has become a daily thought for me, I can't do it, but I wish I could just turn all of the pain off. 2 months later and I feel only worse every day.
Qactus Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Hey bro, i can completely understand. You know what ? You have friends here now and this community is yiur family for next few months. Dont feel alone because what i am about to tell you might show you the real picture of world and people living here. I was dunoed by my 5 years relation just like u got it in the face. Apparently our stories are really similar. Believe me we live in different parts of world and yet we have same heart which is kicked by our EX. First of all please START THE NO CONTACT! Its really important to never look back at her. Its over for good and please now try to understand that you cannot make her fall in love with you unless she wants it. The reason for your breakup was just a formality. She decoded it way back to ditch you and the religious reason is just a formality so that she can jusity this. How do i know this? Because my girl dumped me in september for the very same reason. She said that GOD does not wants us ti be together.. Would you believe that ? We are from religion but different schoolmof thoughts and apparently her parents pressurized her to marry someone else and leave me and kick me. All those glories, memories were punched. And this is what has happend to you. Please please please!! Try to live with this, dont even try if think of her. She changed her mind its her decision you tried ur best, you gave ur best and u were indeed a good fiance/boyfriend. Please take this time for yourself and try to be what you are! We are in the same boat. We can help each other. Welcome to this community and we are family here. Just discuss anything over here and you will be surprized that how soo many people here are helping! This is ur Support! And you have to move on !! 1
30andsad Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I know the pain, man. It's been 10 weeks since my ex of 4 years left and 8 since she ended it for good. She's moved out and pretty much completely moved on. I thought I had made some progress, but this past week has just been hell. The holidays are not helping with everyone and their families putting up Christmas trees and celebrating together. I thought we'd be together forever and she met and got to know my grandmother who passed last year. My dad is also in his mid-90s, so the likelihood she will be the last girl in my life to really get to know my dad is high, not to mention the possibility of my having children to meet him is greatly diminished now. Breaks my heart that my future wife and children may not ever get to meet one of the most important people in my life. I live in NC myself, about an hour north of Charlotte. If that's where you are living now and you're ever feeling really down/suicidal, please reach out. I'm going through the same tough crap, so happy to help. Getting through this has been and will be the toughest thing I've ever had to go through for sure, but it will pass in its own time.
MoveAlong Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Hey man, I was just dumped in a 3 year relationship. We loved each other like no tomorrow. She would cry when she had to leave me for a week. I was the "one". But things changed fast, and I was taken by surprise when she broke up with me. I was so hurt. I thought I had my life sorted out. I had dreams I wanted to pursue, but I was so confused by the break up that I didn't know what was important to me anymore. In a similar situation, my girlfriend was there for me when a family member of mine passed away. I was devastated and the loss crippled me. I was terribly depressed, and our break up has only made it worse. I wanted to end my life, and just quit. But I didn't do it because I have friends, family, and even strangers who care about me...and also because those who passed away would be so disappointed in me if I didn't pull it together. Don't give up because one relationship ended. I'm not giving up even though she had become everything! Use this forum to vent, and share your thoughts and emotions. 1
Author redshift Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Thanks for the replies, guys. I know that my circumstances aren't all that unique. She initiated no contact by blocking my email, deleting her facebook, changing her number and turning all of her friends against me. I packed up and moved to Salt Lake City to be in the mountains, I wanted to build out life out here with her. I have hundreds of notes and letters from her. I feel like one day I just woke up in hell. I have no desire for her to come back. I want to move on, but I'm stuck. The only thing I've been able to do is finish my computer build. It didn't help me move forward. I'm not sure what will.
MoveAlong Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I dunno what the cure is yet but it has strong ties with time. Do things to make yourself more complete. I have no idea what that means for you. For me, that means working out and finding a new hobby. Doing something I never did because I was stuck with her. Showing myself that I can achieve more now that I'm without her. My first few weeks were pathetic. At least I'm chugging along...but the train has not left hell quite yet
Author redshift Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Hey man, I was just dumped in a 3 year relationship. We loved each other like no tomorrow. She would cry when she had to leave me for a week. I was the "one". But things changed fast, and I was taken by surprise when she broke up with me. I was so hurt. I thought I had my life sorted out. I had dreams I wanted to pursue, but I was so confused by the break up that I didn't know what was important to me anymore. In a similar situation, my girlfriend was there for me when a family member of mine passed away. I was devastated and the loss crippled me. I was terribly depressed, and our break up has only made it worse. I wanted to end my life, and just quit. But I didn't do it because I have friends, family, and even strangers who care about me...and also because those who passed away would be so disappointed in me if I didn't pull it together. Don't give up because one relationship ended. I'm not giving up even though she had become everything! Use this forum to vent, and share your thoughts and emotions. Our circumstances are indeed similar, she was my first and last best friend, though. I spent my whole life being picked on. She was the first one to believe in me, the first that wanted to stick around. She was most certainly everything to me. She picked me up from the darkest place in my life, and dropped me into the next darkest without out even considering the massive damage it'd do. She said that she was "peaceful and joyful" she goes on living happily with her college friends. I'm trapped in hell every day. No amount of work and personal hobbies has gotten the memories out. They're the hardest, 5 years of lies.
MoveAlong Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 My ex was also my first...and she did become my best friend. It's pretty hard not to become best friends when you do everything together. I'm not saying that work and hobbies will get your mind off her...I've heard that advice a hundred times by now. It's a bunch of lies lol. I'm supposed to be doing work as we speak. But what I'm suggesting is that you make yourself better in the meantime. You strengthen yourself mentally and physically. This is time for us to do stuff we couldn't do in a relationship because we were blinded by it. We should relish the opportunity to be single...and to improve ourselves. It's an opportunity to be better, to improve your image, to improve your self-confidence and to be able to do everything yourself. I miss my ex. I still love her, but now is the time to work on me.
Author redshift Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 the hardest thing is, I don't want to waste time with this, especially after wasting 5 years already. I want to be happily married and life's too damn short, my mom died at 50 and I held her hand, she only got 18 years with dad, and I wanted more. Now I'm stuck in a place where I can't meet anyone because I work too much, and if I don't I'll be crushed under student loan debt. She was such an amazing woman, and then one day, it was all over. No warnings, no fighting. She got up and walked away like I was nothing. I have serious doubts as to whether anyone will want to stay. I only asked for loyalty, nothing more. I gave until it hurt every day, I spent thousands of dollars I didn't have to visit her, and when I was just about to be able to see her every day, it was over. I could taste the end, for once I could be happy. Now I'm right back to square one. The only place I didn't want to be, and that includes Miami Fl.
Haydn Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Sometimes its good to be alone for a while. Have to learn to love your own company again. I know how you feel, ive been in that dark place. You will emerge from it. She did you a favour by leaving you before it went to far and you might both have ended up miserable in the relationship. Nothing worse than feeling alone in a relationship. Time to close the door and move on. New friends will come and so will another girl. Keep posting. Take care. It's only been 2 months since my 5 year girlfriend/fiancee broke it off. I just keep reliving everything. I loved her like no other. She was the only one in the hospital when my mother died. She's been there for everything. I have no other close friends and no one I talk to has any understanding of my loss. She meant everything to me. We spent 3 years apart and cried every time we met up and left (Maybe once every 3 months). I hugged her and tried not to cry on August 8th, when I left for home, we had just moved my things from Miami to Charlotte, I had to get some interview lined up. October 8th she calls to break if off because she "needs her husband to be her religious leader". I'm atheist, and she's known if for 5 years. I try to be mad, I try to hate her, how could she do this to me? I just can't, I really love her. Every day sucks because I don't have anything waiting at the end. I'm tired of being alone, I work 12 hours a day 6 days a week, I have no time or prospect of finding any new friends and I lost the only ones I had because of the breakup. Suicide has become a daily thought for me, I can't do it, but I wish I could just turn all of the pain off. 2 months later and I feel only worse every day.
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