Dipsit Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 So this is a bit of a story so I'm sorry if it's long. Anyways I have been working at a job for about 6 months or so and in that time have became very attached to my co-worker. The problem is that the business is ran by some friends of ours. For the first little while we were encouraged to date but we never tried until recently. Now my co-worker tells me she has feelings for me and we wanted to try and date but our bosses/friends don't want it. The only possible way is for one of us to quit but doing that would have a chance to lose friends. It's getting harder for both of us not to be able to show our emotions. If I quit this job it would leave everyone in a bad position because I do quite a bit for them, it's not really a job I need because I have a second one but I wanted to help them out. Any help on this would be much appreciated.
Lobouspo Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Never get your honey where you make your money.....Dating 101 2
ITw Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 So this is a bit of a story so I'm sorry if it's long. Anyways I have been working at a job for about 6 months or so and in that time have became very attached to my co-worker. The problem is that the business is ran by some friends of ours. For the first little while we were encouraged to date but we never tried until recently. Now my co-worker tells me she has feelings for me and we wanted to try and date but our bosses/friends don't want it. The only possible way is for one of us to quit but doing that would have a chance to lose friends. It's getting harder for both of us not to be able to show our emotions. If I quit this job it would leave everyone in a bad position because I do quite a bit for them, it's not really a job I need because I have a second one but I wanted to help them out. Any help on this would be much appreciated. If you don't need the job and it's keeping you from being with this woman, then it's probably best to leave the job. I'm sure they'll find a way to manage without you. It sounds like leaving the job wouldn't really be a loss for you? I'm assuming you're both adults and past the point where friends should be dictating how you live your life. If you're not stuck to the job then don't let the bosses/friends decide who you date. Do what's best for YOU.
ITw Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Wanted to add that many or maybe most of these bosses/friends probably already have their significant others, BF/GF, spouses, etc. Have you asked yourself if it's fair for them to keep you from progressing things with this woman? They sound like they're too involved in your affairs.
Author Dipsit Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Wanted to add that many or maybe most of these bosses/friends probably already have their significant others, BF/GF, spouses, etc. Have you asked yourself if it's fair for them to keep you from progressing things with this woman? They sound like they're too involved in your affairs. Actually my bosses are husband and wife. But we're all friends and get together after work often and I have been friends with them outside of work for a very long time. I've known them longer than I've known this co-worker which is why it's a little hard.
OrangeSnack Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 You know there are a handful of people out there that had met their partners via work. It makes sense. You're both in a safe environment. You develop interest for each other early on. You find our each others strengths and weaknesses. So in other words it CAN work. But there are also cons in dating co-workers. I see LS as a great place to seek advice but I don't necessarily follow everyones advice word to word. I always take it with a grain of salt. I ultimately think that you won't know until you try. So my advice is to give it a shot. What do you have to lose? I have a perfect example. A few years ago my friends and family all thought I was crazy to go to Burma. They said the place was filled with poverty and smugglers. And on top of that, it was DANGEROUS. But I said F it, I won't know till I try. So I booked my flight and got my visa taken care of. I had the best 12 days of backpacking adventure in Burma. The people were nice and there was a lot of rich history. So don't let others affect your ultimate decision. Good luck!!! Let us know how things go!
ITw Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Actually my bosses are husband and wife. But we're all friends and get together after work often and I have been friends with them outside of work for a very long time. I've known them longer than I've known this co-worker which is why it's a little hard. Ultimately it's your decision. Why not go for it? Do the bosses/friends have to know every single thing about your love life? You've known the bosses/friends a long time but it still sounds like they're having too much input into your love life. Boundaries between work and personal life are important. I could see if you absolutely needed this job for survival but sounds like you don't. The previous poster had a good point about taking all advice with a grain of salt. I still say go for starting a relationship and focus on what will make you happy. Personally, I'd go out with the co-worker and tell any who tries to interfere to butt out and mind their own business.
NTRDR Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Well... if it will **** with your job performance, then pass... I've done it a few times in the past and it's always bad, for the other person. Because I don't give a ****, but it will get awkward for at least one of you. If you're like me and don't give a **** go for it. You're going to see them... every ... ****ing ... day... It's also why I stopped hooking up with women from my gym... when it ends... and it will... you still see them... daily...
beyondcrushed Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Never get your honey where you make your money.....Dating 101 Big time. Don't **** where you eat.
BOREDouttaMymind Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 they legally cant stop you from dating. ya they can fire you for 'other reasons', but still.. its up to you. weigh the costs and benefits. is it worth it? will it LAST? or is this just a 'have sex, move fast, and then lose interest in 6 month kind of thing?
beyondcrushed Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Well... if it will **** with your job performance, then pass... I've done it a few times in the past and it's always bad, for the other person. Because I don't give a ****, but it will get awkward for at least one of you. If you're like me and don't give a **** go for it. You're going to see them... every ... ****ing ... day... It's also why I stopped hooking up with women from my gym... when it ends... and it will... you still see them... daily... Do not screw up your career for love. Do not date a coworker because when it ends it is horrible to see them everyday -- heartbreaking for one and awkward for the other.
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