Bindi33 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Just a general question.. When you are seeing someone (not official, just dating and talking) is it normal that you don't hear from him everyday. Or is it a bad sign if the guy doesn't text you every day? He will always reply if I text first, but he only tends to text first every couple of days. Even if that means we don't talk at all
ShyGuy5 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Depends on the person. Some people are on their phone 247, while others really only look at it a few times a day. Now if he was constantly on it texting calling playing games, then it might be a bad sign, but if he just leaves it around and check periodically then there is nothing wrong with that
Author Bindi33 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Well I can't say for certain how much he is on his phone, but he is on Facebook many many times throughout the day, each day.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Personally, I wouldn't mind it, if he's made his interest in me obvious and he's hinted at forthcoming plans for a new date.. otherwise, I'll just assume he's lost interest and drop him, even if he texts me a few days later and acts all normal. Some people do the hot / cold thing, and ain't nobody got time or energy for that sh*t. I certainly don't anymore. But if the signs of his interest are there, then I would actually prefer it if he doesn't text / call me every day. I used to be the complete opposite and would want a guy to text/call every day, but I realized that that is not necessarily a sign of genuine interest or effort anyway. 1
MrMeh Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I am detached from my phone most of the time, but I notice that when I start talking to a girl I become more active when it comes to texting. I hate playing games, as I view it as a sign of immaturity. I just firmly believe that if you are interested, it should be easy for you to want to text back.
Author Bindi33 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 So then the question is.. if you feel like you are receiving mixed signals (talks about wanting to see you again but then not texting much).. should you say something about it first before you drop them? Or just assume they lost interest and never contact them again.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 So then the question is.. if you feel like you are receiving mixed signals (talks about wanting to see you again but then not texting much).. should you say something about it first before you drop them? Or just assume they lost interest and never contact them again. If he wants to see you, and makes the effort into asking you out, then i don't think it's mixed signals , at least at first.. how long have you 2 been seeing each other? if it's sitll in the first 5 dates stage, i say it's too early to write him off for not texting you every day! unless of course he's also not asking you out...
Author Bindi33 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 We have had 2 dates in about 2 weeks. He's hinted at wanting to see me again by talking about what a great time he had and then also slightly hinting at things we could do in the future, but we have no definite plans for another future date yet and I haven't heard from him much in the last 2 days.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I've learned it's a sign of lukewarm interest. Any guy that has really liked me has contacted me daily from the first date. I don't bother with guys who aren't that into me. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 (edited) We have had 2 dates in about 2 weeks. He's hinted at wanting to see me again by talking about what a great time he had and then also slightly hinting at things we could do in the future, but we have no definite plans for another future date yet and I haven't heard from him much in the last 2 days. OK, I don't know the full story here, and how you two get on , what his style of communication is, but, generally, I think this would be a sign that he's playing the field and isn't that interested in you. I don't think the opposite (guys texting every day / coming on too strong at first) is necessarily a good thing either. It really depends, and people should keep their eyes open for red flags one way or the other. Some people can be super charismatic at first, and then disappear once they manage to get into your pants (even if you wait for 2-3 months!). Others might seem lukewarm at first, but they are interested.. but I do think that your guy is actually not all that interested, unless he's working double shifts or something... even then, he could still find the time to hit you with a text.. you said yourself that he doesn't initiate texts but does respond. He wants to do the bare minimum to keep you hooked, but not more than that, because it's too much effort for someone he's not all that interested in. again, all this is speculation.. i'd give this guy a chance, and see where this goes.. but if it's an ongoing thing after the next 2 dates, then I'd drop him. But then again I tend to lose interest fast in people who do not want to make any effort. the days where I chased after men who were aloof, are over. Also, stop texting him. Mirror his behavior. And not to play games, but just to indicate that your interest in him is proportionate to his interest in you. You don't want to give off the sign that you are a chaser. You also don't want to BE a chaser. Only narcissists enjoy the thrill of being chased/pursued by a woman, and take great joy in causing emotional torment by acting aloof and unattainable. And believe ME, you don't want to end up being with a narcissist. Edited December 9, 2013 by NoMoreJerks
Author Bindi33 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 I agree with everything you're saying. However, he does initiate texts, just not every day. The last time I heard from him, he sent me a pretty decent length text message to apologize if he's coming off as short or rude lately and that other people have been commenting on him not being himself. He claims its because he has a lot going on with school at the moment. He sent this even though I never complained about it. I've also had him double text me several times in the past when I don't respond to something he says. I'm just so used to guys coming on really strong if they are interested. Texting every day, wanting to hang out all the time, etc.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 He might be telling you the truth, or he might be bullsh*tting you and seeing how much he can get away with. There's only one way to find out: by waiting this out and seeing how things evolve. If he has such issues that he will be unable to give you the level of communication that you expect / feel comfortable with, then he's not the right one for you, and maybe he shouldn't be dating until he gets these issues out of the way. Plus, no one is that busy with school , etc., that he can't send off one text a day. Unless of course, one text then evolves into texting all day long, in which case, I can understand his reluctance to initiate texts on days that he might feel he is too busy and can't do that.. but I'd give him 2-3 more dates to see what he's all about. I am not optimistic, though.
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