Bookish26 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I just started seeing a new guy and I'm having trouble figuring out how much I like him. We've been on three dates so far - the first two dates were really great and I had a good time on the third date too but he slept over and in the morning was being so cuddly and sweet and acting like a long term boyfriend. This should be great but it made me uncomfortable. I've been having a good time with him but I just got out of a relationship three months ago and I'm just not falling for him yet - it's only been three dates! Anyway, he suggested we go get brunch in the morning and I said I had to get some work done. After three dates, should I want to spend all my time with him? Or is it okay that I didn't want to keep hanging out?
ShyGuy5 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 It is ok to want to keep hanging out, but it seems like you are stonewalling him by keeping your guard up. Keep in mind you also let him stay over on the third date. I don't know about everything else, but suggesting brunch doesn't mean he wants you to spend every waking moment with him. As I said, I don't know the whole situation, whether he is constantly texting and calling etc. 1
Dallers Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Agree with above you let him stay over after 3 dates from a man's perspective if I really liked you and you allowed that then boom chika wow woooooowwwwww! Assuming there was no sex involved that would give him the thinking that. Sleep Over - No Sex - She must really like me. If he begins bringing over his own toilet paper or skimmed milk then maybe have a word.
Author Bookish26 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Oh, I should have been clearer - there was no sex. Just sleep!
Dallers Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Yeah see I would take sex as a meaningless thing after 3 dates, I would accept a 3rd date sleep over and cuddle as something potentially more and act that way, especially if he already really liked you and then that happened. Insert Crazy Dreamy Stare.
Kelemvor Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 You're on the rebound. He should just be able to recognize that, but it sounds like he might not... If he continues to be clingy, just have the sit down and let him know you're not looking for anything remotely serious after having just gotten out of a relationship. FYI. Don't ask dudes to sleep over when you are on the fence as to whether you even like them after 3 dates. It's an invitation to misconstrue. Decide whether you even want to spend time with them at all first. Then decide what you're looking for in a relationship. Casual? etc.. Let him know that so that he knows what to expect.. Then have sex and jump into the predictive intense post break up rebound relationship which always ends in disaster.
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