confusedandhurt2002 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Our marriage counselor seems to attack my husband and I in our sessions. One or the other of us is in her targets every other week. One week it's me and the next it is him. she's argumentative and makes you feel like you are being interogated. It's not helping me, the betrayed spouse, or him, the unfaithful spouse. We are in a very rural area and finding a counselor is extremely hard. We went to this one because she's down the street, a friend recommended her (but later said her husband can't stand the woman), and the other counselors in the area are either seeing my huband or I or our son individually. Seriously...this area sucks in many ways. My question is...does anyone know of a good online counseling service or course that might help? I've looked at affairrecovery.com but don't know if it is a scam or not. Any ideas would be appreciated. thanks.
Realist3 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Marriage counseling doubles your risk of divorce over doing nothing. I would suggest stop wasting your money if you want to reconcile. Plenty of books out there you can read out there for a fraction of the cost.
carhill Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Effective MC is rarely easy or pleasant. If you're both in IC, MC will seem doubly so, comparatively, since IC is focused on person and what's in your best interest, personally. A good MC focuses on the M and each client's contribution to it, both positive and negative. If MC is limited in your rural area, you may have to seek out/be referred to a MC in a nearby urban area. Back when we were in MC, my round trip was around 45 miles to each session for similar reasons (rural area). I did it generally once a week for 14 months. I remember feeling 'interrogated' for around 8 months until I finally started getting the gist of the process as the WS. After that point, movement was positive. My exW had checked out long ago so we ended up D'ing, but the MC process was an enormous positive in my life. Happy to have gone through, happy to have spent the ~5K on it, happy to be divorced. Keep at it. Hope you and your H can reconcile at some point. If you had a solid foundation, the chances are good. Best wishes.
Realist3 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 You are bringing in a third party into a two party situation. A third party that knows little to nothing of the dynamic between the two.
experiencethedevine Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 You are bringing in a third party into a two party situation. A third party that knows little to nothing of the dynamic between the two. And as such, has no preconceived ideas about the marriage, dealing only with what is presented. The reason these people are in counsel is because of a third party situation. 1
sunburned Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 (edited) Check out goasksuzie.com. Great articles online, but you can also book a phone session with her. She handles all angles of an A -- OW, BS, WS, couples, singles, etc. I'm a physician living in a fairly large metro area and still found it hard to find the right person for the job! One of the things I liked about Suzie is her non-judgmental nature. Don't know if she'll work for you, but she definitely won't attack. Edited December 8, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator External link redacted
Recommended Posts