No Limit Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Hello everyone. First off; this thread is not about me in particular, I'm just feeling a little bit hopeless and irritated. And it's going to be long, so get comfortable. A guy I was once loosely befriended with (he was in my parallel class) contacted me a few days ago if I was still in touch with that one girl. She was awfully bullied for no reason at all (she tried breaking up a fight in the internet and two real sluts in her class then went against her, sorry if this sounds too offensive but it's true, one of those chicks had made photos of herself being naked and put it on the internet when she was only 12). At that point I wasn't in contact with her anymore because we were all seperated in different classes but I didn't think much of it, she was befriended with the majority of her classmates, but yeah, clearly I - and she also - underestimated the situation. It ended with quite brutal psycho-bullying passively supported by her clueless and incompetent teacher. I tried to help her out as good as I could, I would always go to her as soon as recess started so she wouldn't stand there alone, I always waited for her so we could walk home together, but after 2 years her depression was well-advanced and it started to show off physically also; her hair started to fall out, she lost weight until her cheekbones were showing. She was very well aware of it herself, and did a move I was very surprised of; she let her math grades take a sudden downfall, knowing her teachers wouldn't get suspicious because math was her weakness (but never to the point that she'd have to repeat class; her teachers had known by then of the situation, but with her class teacher things changed only little). She returned papers half-empty, once completely empty also until her math teacher thought her to be a hopeless case in math. In her new class things changed immediatly, she was immediatly integrated and has a secured place among good people and friends. She's now in her final year and is ready to go to "College" (it's a bit different in my country). Well, now that guy and one of the the girl's primary former ex-bully contacted me asking about her and how she was doing and tried to get information out of me. I didn't let it come this far though, simply asking him why he'd even want to know, and of course he tells me that he has a serious crush and how sorry he was for everything he did, bla bla bla. I won't lie, I don't trust this guy or any of the others anymore. Before the bullying they were nice to hang out with, but now they're... different. It's like it changed them as well, and that for the worse. Interestingly the class started offensive behavior towards lower classes when the girl had left them, and they were disliked by pretty much everyone, even some teachers, really weird. The guy who's asked me about the girl even got a reputation for being homosexual even though there's no reason to believe so. Either way, I can imagine why he's trying to get in touch with her. She's really smart, she's attractive and on top of that her parents got money, they're even going to rent a penthouse for her next year. But this guy keeps asking me and now one of my friends even gave my number to him so he annoys me per texting as well, but I don't know what to say. What do you think, do bullies really ever change for the better? And even if he did, how is he supposed to convince her to even get in touch with him? She deleted them all off her Facebook (why they sent friend requests to her when bullying her I don't know) already, and I surely won't tell him that she might have set her privacy high there but strangers can still write her PMs to her spambox. Wouldn't want her to get nearly as annoyed as I am as of now. I gotta say, she's tough when it comes down to that kind of stuff. When her best friend started to gossip about her too and later tried to get in touch with her (calling her for 7 full months, daily! Crazy!) she not even once looked back or even considered talking to her. What chance should THIS guy have? At one point, sure, he might try and get the cold shoulder by her, but on the other hand, what could I do to convince him to just let go and go to one of the stupid bully-chicks? He can get one of those into bed in no time, I mean he plays football, all he has to do is to mention it. Why the smart one who will turn him down anyway? Sorry if this is eye-challengingly-long, but I'm just so angry. I bet while writing this he wrote yet another few times, *SIGH...
Author No Limit Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 As expected, I got plenty of messages, to sum it up pathetic beggings and other futile attempts to raise some sort of sympathy for him. Just glad her parents are going to get her that penthouse for the College in the city a bit far away, most others (including the annoying spammer) went to the one in town. That way at least she'll have her privacy. Now all I need is a new number. Would still love to hear a few opinions of you guys, I could really use some advice...
Sugarkane Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Why would you even consider giving one of these bullies a second chance, after all this girl indured, just for no reason? There's no way id give the victims details to these bullies. Why now? have so many questions. Did her parents even know she was being bullied? Why did the school do nothing? Why didn't her parents take it even further? I've also been a victim of bullying and when schools wash their hands of it and do nothing, I can absolutely see why kids in the US get guns and take things into their own hands. I've never seen a bully change at all yet. This school is extremely lucky they didn't get sued! 1
Sugarkane Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 And the bullies calling her for 7 months DAILY? That's extreme. I would be going to get a restraining order. Sorry but this is psycho Behaviour. 1
Author No Limit Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Why would you even consider giving one of these bullies a second chance, after all this girl indured, just for no reason? Not for no reason. It's... it's difficult. The whole bully situation got its own dynamique, it got out of control because one of those crazy girls just kept pouring oil into the fire. Outside of school, they were alright. Maybe I just have some sort of hope that maybe after almost 2 years they changed. Plus, that guy did it rather passively. He used to be shy, but being one of only a few guys in a big girl class, who knows. Can't tell what's in his head. Of course, that's no excuse. There's no way id give the victims details to these bullies. Why now? have so many questions.? I didn't give him anything so far, and she doesn't know about this "secret lover" either. Questions are allowed. Did her parents even know she was being bullied?? Yes, her mother knew (her parents are divorced and she hasn't seen him in over a decade), and in her anger called a few parents of these kids. Much to her daughter's dismay, because in school she was laughed out for it. Why did the school do nothing? Because nobody paid much attention to it until her mother called informing them that she'd move to another (which was averted when they suddenly started special lessons where they would have to work on random stuff together and talking about how important a good community was for a class, all in vain though). Her class teacher hated her, and when she started staying a few days at home every once in a while she accused her of playing hooky etc etc. When her fear of school reached its peak she didn't go there for 2 weeks until the teachers persuaded her mother that they'd work on it. Later that day she told me that when she was waiting in the principle's office, the first thing her teachr did was to accuse her of lying and asking her who she thought she was for behaving like this. Afterwards the teacher tried to convince her that she'd imagined it and that when she had spoken to her class they had been very affected by it, well, truth was that the day earlier I saw them cheering that "finally she's gone". Why didn't her parents take it even further? Her mother intended it, their family has a few lawyers as friends who had helped them in the past also. But she didn't want it, I guess it's just not her nature. She told me the only time she almost hit back was when a few tried to take her stuff away etc and started throwing it at her, when one of the guys went near she had picked up the table tennis racket herself and had almost beaten someone in the face with it, but stopped herself in the last second. I have no clue how that girl went through all that and how she managed to restrain herself, I would have given him the blue eye without regrets. On the other hand, one of her worst bullies became a waitress at her aunt's restaurant. Don't know how to make ones life less miserable that once dreamed about being a model and stuff. Serves her right. And the bullies calling her for 7 months DAILY? That's extreme. I would be going to get a restraining order. Sorry but this is psycho Behaviour. It wasn't just a bully, they've been best friends for 3 years, they were like sisters and even the teachers knew they were inseperable. Why she suddenly turned against her I don't know, but I do know that she used everything she knew about that girl to use it against her and keep herself interesting. By the end of the year she had to move, I guess she was just afraid of the unknown. She called her daily throughout the summer holidays several times and during the first months of school. Creepy. She told me that once they met at the doctor, and when her ex-best friend looked at her "with a thousand yard stare" she turned away. Afterwards she received a message on Facebook of her ex-best friend saying that she "didn't dare to talk" to her. Incredible, so much for friendship. Not a single word of being sorry, nothing... some people, really... Your friend deserves better. I think so too. But how do I tell the guy so he'll stop annoying me? As offensive as possible and in a way that he'll remember I guess, but how?
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