btvdts Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I'm sure all of us dumpee's think what did I do wrong? what could of I changed? I'm curious to hear what you guys have to say! For me... I did many things wrong. 1. She had children, I didn't. when we live together(two months) I'd come home to a house full of kids(all her friends) with no warning. I'd get mad.. Why? Because i got no warning!hell I'm human and it's not easy living with kids, but. I'd get mad because I got not wanting, not because they were three. 2. we moved to where she grew up and knew everyone. Before that all our time was spent together. now it was all about her friends. I got jealous. yea stupid but if change comes, not everyone can accept it right away! (mind u I was there only two months and barely knew anyone)before the move all she wanted was to spend time with me. If she took it slowly with her friends then I could of gotten used to it. 3. she became suspicious so I snooped on her phone. When I mean suspicious I mean she became glued to her phone. Never let it out of her sight. She wasn't like that before. I got as far as knowing she put a password on her phone. she would always answer her phone besides me then she stopped. Had to go to another room to do it. when I finally asked her about.... Well she said things sh said I pushed her away. I trie telling her how I felt many times before. That living together, things change. Sometimes things are harder but if it's worth it, people try to work it out. She instead kicks me out. Life is a bitch
L1ght Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Believed in her instead of listening to instinct. That's what I did wrong. Take it as a lesson and look out for the warning signs next time round then get the hell out of dodge before you end up in a position again like you are now where you are looking for ways to blame yourself instead of remembering the things you put up with in the relationship until it reached the breaking point. 1
Sleepyhead Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 (edited) I have a disorder that essentially prevents me from actually getting rest when I sleep, so every waking moment I feel as if I hadn't slept at all the night before, even though I did for 10+ hours! I'm sure you know the feeling of pulling an all nighter-- you're irritable, depressed, and just not yourself. I felt like that every single day for over a year while my ex put up with me. I didn't know about this at the time, and my ex left because I just wasn't me. I should have tried harder to find the right doctors (which I eventually did) who could treat my condition, and to find a therapist who could help me with the mood problems caused by continous lack of sleep. I guess I was just hoping it would go away on its own. By the time I actually got the help I needed it was too late. :/ It still tears me up 7 months post-BU, but atleast I'm healthier now. Edited December 8, 2013 by Sleepyhead 1
Dumped85 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Where do I begin, I was afraid to speak up about the important things. Id sleep for Atleast an hour when id see her. Big mistake, Im pretty sure it really annoyed her.
GeneralJennyJenn Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I was the dumper with my last ex and I can share what I did wrong in the relationship - I did not value my exes' opinion enough - I did not place him above others such as my friends (I have learned since then when you're in a relationship you should be uno numero regardless of what your friends think, say or do) - I would argue about stuff that really didn't matter - I gave him a hard time when I felt slighted rather then tell him what was bothering me but with my ex I did the following things right -when I did make mistakes I owed up to them and apologized whole heartedly and did my best to make amends (he never did or take blame for anything, nothing was ever his fault) -I made sure he knew I loved him even during the bad times (he would turn on me like Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde) -I was faithful (he wasn't) As you can see, it takes two to tango, it takes two to destroy a relationship.
2fargone Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I knew mine was emotionally unstable. When studying didn't go well, she would feel 'worthless' in her own words. I knew it wasn't just the use of the word, she really felt it like that. There were more things lke this. Having had a RS with a girl with BPD I knew also that at some point it would affect the relationship. And low and behold, when breaking up with me she said that at times she felt unwanted and such.... I just wanted to believe (again) that with this one, it would be different.
RespectfullyAlone Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I trusted my ex. That's what I did wrong. I believed her words, her flattery, her saying I love you, her saying how amazed she was that guys like me existed in this world. I believed her when she talked about us having a proper future together, marriage, more children (since she had 3 young kids), where we would live, the list goes on. I believed her at every step of the way. Even when she said the guy she's with now was annoying her and kinda of being creepy online. Thus my mistake was to trust a woman. I did, she took my heart, I've never been the same since. This wasn't my first heartbreak, but it was one that hit me the worst. It felt like all of my heartbreaks rolled into one, times 1000.
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