MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I'm thinking about reactivating my Facebook. I deactivated it in 2008 and haven't been on it since. I never really used social networking whilst with my ex and didn't meet new people but now I want to. I want to communicate with my little sister on there. I'm just worried my ex might find it and she will know if I've moved on or not? I don't want her to know a thing about me. It's a little embarrassing if she realizes I only have three friends on it and I don't want her to know if I'm single or not. I want her to feel a sense of loss for throwing our relationship away. She won't feel that if she see's my Facebook profile and I'm still single. I don't want her back but she's on a dumper's high and I don't want her getting a further ego boost by seeing how little social life I have. Ah screw it I'm not gonna do it, I'll stay a mystery.
organizedchaos Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Do it and then just immediately block her.she won't see anything. 3
Mario79 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I was thinking the same thing about blocking her, since I got blocked. I never used facebook as well until I tried using it to get my ex's attention and that was dumb. Anyways, if you still care so much about what your ex might think or do, you probably shouldn't go back. Unless you find a major reason since you are involved in activism and stuff, a major reason that overshadows what an ex might think you should go back. 1
AnyaNova Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I'm thinking about reactivating my Facebook. I deactivated it in 2008 and haven't been on it since. I never really used social networking whilst with my ex and didn't meet new people but now I want to. I want to communicate with my little sister on there. I'm just worried my ex might find it and she will know if I've moved on or not? I don't want her to know a thing about me. It's a little embarrassing if she realizes I only have three friends on it and I don't want her to know if I'm single or not. I want her to feel a sense of loss for throwing our relationship away. She won't feel that if she see's my Facebook profile and I'm still single. I don't want her back but she's on a dumper's high and I don't want her getting a further ego boost by seeing how little social life I have. Ah screw it I'm not gonna do it, I'll stay a mystery. I think the easy solution is to reactive it and block your ex. :-) Perhaps I am oversimplifying? p.s.- If she gets a kick out of that, you can get a kick out of the fact that the more friends one has one facebook from a numeric standpoint, studies have shown, the more likely one is to be a narcissist. :-) I say, be yourself, do what you want with Facebook, and don't care what your ex thinks. Her opinions on you don't matter any more. She gave up the right for them to matter. 1
L1ght Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 (edited) Use a nickname or fake name that your sister or whoever can use to contact you on facebook. Anonymity is a choice and some people do it for various reasons while others are quite happy giving out personal information for all the world to see on a daily basis. I mean if you just wanna contact your sister or certain friends online while maintaining a certain level of privacy there are many ways to do it if you really wanna make it happen. You have a choice, keep things personal and private or create a situation where your ex has the opportunity to spy on you. Simple. P.S. Personally I don't use Facebook or twitter. Ex's don't have an opportunity to spy on me and that's the way I like it. I just use email cos its so much less intrusive. Edited December 8, 2013 by L1ght 1
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Thanks for the advice guys I've decided not to join FB. I don't think I'm over her enough to do it and not be 1000% bothered what she thinks. There is no major reason to do it. She only has like 200 friends on there (I guess that's small compared to most?) she doesn't really know half of them though haha. I'm staying away yeah I don't want her spying on me or knowing anything about me at all. I don't use Twitter or Facebook either. I don't think I'll meet anyone new on Facebook anyways, it's not actually a social networking website. It's not for meeting new friends and it's built to make that hard. It's more for friends and family you already know. I'm talking to my sister on Skype so all is good.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Should I go back to FB? No, of course not. Why would you consent to compile all of your personal data in one spot to be used and abused by anybody of the mind to do so? You don't do this stuff with your PIN numbers and your bank/IRS records, do you???
fixing Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Hey man. Fwiw, facebook is a load of bollocks anyways. Its just a platform for people to show off and boost their own egos. If you have been off it for 5 years anyways, then your not missing it anyways! If you do reactivate it you can change your setting to completely private. She wont be able to see how many friends you have etc. Good luck
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 LOL^ Completely agree and you're right it's just one big ego shrine, I'd rather stay away from all the drama and bs. meetup.com i'll try that.
SerCay Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 OP, Facebook is handy when you're far from your fam as I am. There's a solution to your problem. There's an option where your profile is unfindable through google and facebook search. And there's also an option, that only your friends can enter your profile. For example if you use both, I cannot search you on facebook find, and if I find you through a mutual friend, I cannot click on your name. You can use it this way and avoid the ability of your ex looking at your profile through someone elses ( Because she can still look you up through someone elses if you block her).
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Well I'm back on Facebook and it's been great, I've reconnected with old friends and we are catching up loads. They said I dropped off the face off the earth for the last five years. I don't care if my ex sees my Facebook, I'm done with women I'm only adding male friends on it, no drama. I just noticed something really strange though. One of my old friends is on my list but he's deactivated his account. If I click his name it says: "This account has been deactivated. Only you can see Dave on your friends list. You have the option to unfriend Dave?" This shocked me because I was using my old Facebook account that I deactivated in 2009 to stalk my ex. I changed my name on it too just in case. I thought she couldn't delete me because when I deactivate I'm not on her friends list. But only she can see me! So why hasn't she deleted me? She has done friend clean ups multiple times in the last few months. Very strange.
strive Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 don't start overthinking it! you know she didn't delete you so she could know when to pull your strings (or IF there's a string to pull)
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Haha I'm a bad over thinker Yeah you're right, she could just remove me from her friends list. Or maybe she did but I get added every time I reactivate? I dunno.
Mariposa10 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 And this is another reason why everybody preaches about NC because you start over analyzing every detail. Many of my friends have deactivated their profiles. Have you deleted them? No, why? Too lazy. Anyway my point is that there can be a million reasons why. But do not think about them. Otherwise, you'll just go crazy. Well I'm back on Facebook and it's been great, I've reconnected with old friends and we are catching up loads. They said I dropped off the face off the earth for the last five years. I don't care if my ex sees my Facebook, I'm done with women I'm only adding male friends on it, no drama. I just noticed something really strange though. One of my old friends is on my list but he's deactivated his account. If I click his name it says: "This account has been deactivated. Only you can see Dave on your friends list. You have the option to unfriend Dave?" This shocked me because I was using my old Facebook account that I deactivated in 2009 to stalk my ex. I changed my name on it too just in case. I thought she couldn't delete me because when I deactivate I'm not on her friends list. But only she can see me! So why hasn't she deleted me? She has done friend clean ups multiple times in the last few months. Very strange.
Mariposa10 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 No, she hasn't done anything. One time I deactivated my FB for months and this guy deleted me. I can't see his stuff because he deleted me while I had my account deactivated. Haha I'm a bad over thinker Yeah you're right, she could just remove me from her friends list. Or maybe she did but I get added every time I reactivate? I dunno.
Am4Real Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 That's five years ago and you're still worried about what your EX thinks? Not good!!!!
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 I don't care what she thinks anymore, she's not "my" ex, she's not anything to me.
Am4Real Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Then do what you want -- you mentioned the EX as a concern, not me! Good for you!!!!! I don't care what she thinks anymore, she's not "my" ex, she's not anything to me.
Author MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Thanks I'm gonna post around here again now I have more time.
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