Suicidal Thoughts

[nevergoodenough]

I know how you feel Vin, life is so hard. I can't afford any of these things and life seems so difficult. It's really hard to find the strength to keep going when your heart is so broken. When you love one person in the world but nothing you do can reach them, it really sucks a lot. Its probably the hardest thing I have ever been through and I have been through a lot of pain.

[Sososad]

I don't know if my advice is any use but you gotta look..

You've now 3 pages of people.. Who don't know you and never met you but none

The less care about you ..

I've felt it too like most have .. Life gets better

I'm not jumping through hoops or preaching happiness but I'm starting to smile

Again and it's not faking .. It gets easier in time it's a long road and hard too but hang in there... Life can be truly amazing sure your down but your not out..

Councilling has helped me deal with issues I thought were huge and no point in going on but sometimes someone to listen can give you hope maybe that someone cares enough again to invest their time in you ..

Your not alone people here care for you too and I'm sure there's others in your life who care...

Don't loose faith in life people here are heartbroken some probably not able to get out of bed but took time to write you very personal and long messages ..

You gotta see your worth man... Your a good guy and people will see it !

Don't give up .....

[headinthecloud]

Vin, stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's a vicious cycle and it's just a pattern of thinking. But you can stop it from happening. A doctor can help. And the help lines are good too so please call.

 

The world is beautiful. You had a life before her, pretend you never met.

 

...DON'T LAY DOWN! Fight. Gawgdamnit.

[Lennon]

Dude don't do it man. The night I got the "we're done" talk by phone. I felt like my entire world had fell apart, the break up lasted a couple of weeks and I was in agony the entire time, crying, not sleeping, not eating but when it got to the finality of its over because when she said we had to talk about us I thought we were getting back together.

 

I wasn't thinking at all. I was in a state of shock. Distraught immediately after the phone call, I ran to the bathroom, punched the mirror and shattered it into pieces. Picked up the sharpest shard and proceeded to carve my arm up (not the cry for help cutting across the wrist, the cutting going along the arm which i heard is meant to be hard to stop the bleeding.) Cut myself three times the third the deepest before my best mate and his girlfriend walked in and found me crying and blood and mirror shards everywhere. They took me downstairs, bandaged me up as best they could, kept positive talking me, rolled me a joint to calm me down and put me to bed. I woke up the following day in bed in a pit of despair and hopelessness. i could see my wrist had bled through the night pretty bad and was continuing to do so. I just lay there with tears in my eyes and tried to fall back to sleep and let it bleed and just wanted to keep growing weaker and let go. My sheets and mattress were soaked in blood.

My mate and his girlfriend came in to check on me and found the state i was in. They forced me out of bed, clothed me and brought me to the hospital. 10 hours in A&E waiting to get fixed. I could see what I had put my friends through. It was worse for my mates girlfriend as she had lost a friend to suicide the previous year and it brought it all back for her.

 

Its not the answer man. There is so much beauty out there and too much of life to see because the time we have here we have to make the most of it, because when were gone man, were gone and that's it.

 

I didn't think of myself, I didn't think of my friends, my family or even how it would effect her. Could you imagine if your actions had caused somebody to commit suicide, how much it would **** with their head and how they would have to live with the thought that they had caused somebody they cared about so much pain they had to end their lifes.

 

I'm still going through the pain, the hoping she'll come back to me. Its been three months now. I can eat. I can sleep better than I did. I still think of her alot. I miss her and I love her but. I'm not going to end my life over her. Like i said at the minute I'm still hoping she'll be back. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

 

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the **** on.” - Tupac Shakur

 

I'm here with you man and I'm still going through it. We can all give it advice but its hard to follow our own. I'm struggling too but I am not going give up on my life.

[d0nnivain]

Has anybody heard from the OP since this was posted?

 

I really hope he is OK.

[LostConfused123]

Has anybody heard from the OP since this was posted?

 

I really hope he is OK.

I am wondering the same thing.

OP, We know you're still hurting but can you let us know if you're okay?

 

Please.

[Simplysimon]

Man up dude....we all are going thru it. You need to get a hold of yourself. The experience of losing someone is a part of life it's what makes us human.

Cry it out grit your teeth and it will get easier.

And for God sake man get someone else as soon as...

[ravssss]

man we guys really suck up our life to this one element called love ... there was a time when all of us were genuinely happy even without being in a relationship ... to be honest i was in ur state 2 months back ... thought all extremes (not suicide though ) ... the only factor that helped me apart from my friends was just faith in GOD ... and it does work ... after 2 months am back to where I was ... my ex did contact me afterwards ... we met ... but i jst realized it wasnt worth it ... loving urself is more important to be happy in life. .. i do miss everything ... and if i was in ur position i would try to live for family and friends ... jst go to a place like an old age home spend some time with them ... talk to them .. really it helps ... they are awesome ppl .. and u wud also have a positive outlook in general .. start finding happiness in small things ... keep doing things that interest u .. dont keep hatred or anything for ur ex ... realize that this is something the whole world has gone through ... if not now when are u gonna prove urself what ur capable of after a setback... but do meet ur parents if they are in touch ... spend time with them ... i mean they wud have missed u after u were all grown up ... but yes SUICIDE ... never an option ...

[Mariposa10]

Done!

 

Although slightly modified. The advice/ideas given to one client in one situation really many times can't and shouldn't transfer to another. And also to post that advice in some ways, to my mind risks acting like one, when one doesn't have the credentials, and I'm guessing Loveshack doesn't need the lawsuit/s.

 

But!

 

A place to share good experiences, maybe a few thoughts carefully that seem applicable to most/all and don't verge into territory too necessary to be qualified in, a place to describe what it is like to those who may be afraid of it?

 

Heck yes!

 

 

I am talking about general advice, not specific advice. For example, I recently started going to this workshop which is supposed to help you be a better communicator, but for some reason we're learning how to deal with stress/pain, etc right now.

We're learning general stuff. For example, the leader has talked about how we need to focus on the NOW, and how we should start being more aware of the NOW, by doing things we love such as listening to a favorite sound, touching something that provokes nice feelings, velvet maybe? I don't know. The point is that we should start using all our senses to have a more meaningful life. And not get caught up in all this negativity like OP and many of us are. I know stuff like this has helped me, especially when it comes to enjoying conversations with classmates/co-workers/strangers.

[JDPT]

How are you doing Vin?

[yorkie]

vin are you ok mate? please dont do anything bad! i know how you feel and i have been there! i stood on a chair with a rope around my neck on the phone to my ex and i was gonna swing dont do it man sort it out. yes your pain hurts like **** but just dont do it if you love her think about how she will feel! if you did it that isnt you loving her! yes your desperate and yes it hurts i know exactly how you feel but i know it does get better! pm me if you need to im on this site normally at least twice a day early morning and night time

[yorkie]

also Vin think of it this way if you really love her! and i mean really love her she will feel guilt for the rest of her life and you will of done this with your last memoreys of her splitting up. and if , if there was one chance to have her back in the future, you would be gone! so dont do it mate!

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Hope he's okay, his POF profile isn't up anymore??

[TanTry]

Hi Vin

 

I am new here but I wanted to post to say that you can make it through

 

Look at the pages of people who dont even know you offering help

 

Call someone ...just think of how life was before you met her. You have been alive way longer without her than with her

 

That in itself is proof that you dont need her

 

Also would you really want to be with someone who has made you feel this low? It seems like you depended a lot on the relationship (I do this too) but you have lost yourself a long the way

 

I know it hurts

 

But you WILL find love again. That is a promise. But not if you commit suicide

 

Please atleast post just to let us all know you are still here and ok as everyone is worried about you

 

Tan

[AnyaNova]

Vin please.

 

Could you post and let us know that you're okay? A lot of us are worried about you.

[LostConfused123]

Hi Vin,

No one here is angry with you or judging you. We just want to know if you're okay.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Suicide is a very selfish move IMO. Easy way out type stuff. Writing about doing it on here and then not responding (if he hasn't done the unthinkable) is even worse. That's just wrong.

 

I obviously hope he is okay....I'm just saying

[BC1980]

Vin,

 

I do think you need to seek counseling at the very least and possibly medication for anxiety/depression. I went through a rough time in college and took an SSRI, which helped tremendously. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Honestly, I think all of the therapy I went through at that time has helped me to get through this break up.

 

Immediately after my breakup, I had times when I didn't know how I would go on. I really did have times where I felt it would be easier if I just died. I hate even admitting that I was brought so low, but it's the truth. I pulled myself out of that hole by sheer willpower. It's a choice on many levels, but don't be a bit ashamed to seek professional help. Most people can't get through life without needing counseling at some point.

[sambo77]

Vin...hope you choose to ride this one out buddy...just like you've done during each and every one of the god awful lows you've had over the last few months.

 

You might not feel like it now...but you do matter...there are people waiting to love you in the future whom you've yet to meet...

[Sugarkane]

Please seek help! I did after joining this site. No one will judge you for seeking help. As dumpees I find you're willing to to do anything for your ex. But when the dumpee isnt coping like you are, the dumpers don't care. You realky deserve much better than that.

[AnyaNova]

I don't know what the protocol is for this, but someone can be found by various internet stuff like their IP address right?

 

If the authorities wherever you were, were notified, and given the information, could they find where he is, and send local authorities and be sure he is safe, even if they don't tell us?

 

I know that if every person who posted on these sorts of forums about these sorts of thoughts were tracked down it would take way too much. But there are several things that concern me here.

 

1) He is male, which means he is much more statistically likely to choose a method that is effective.

 

2) Though the message doesn't sound like he has fully made a decision, it almost sounds like he was using the message to convince himself. Something about that last sentence about the "thoughts becoming more clear," really concerns me.

 

3) He has admitted to being clinically depressed in a previous post. This means that he is at greater risk.

 

4) He has clearly articulated the desire to do so.

 

I don't know what all the legalities are here, and I really hope I'm wrong, but I fear this one could be more than just venting the feelings for the sake of venting them and not acting on them. But if something could be done by the moderators in this case via notifying some authorities, I would suspect this would be the case and the time to do it.

 

Maybe I am just being paranoid or overcautious here, but I think there are enough significant risk factors to warrant concern!

 

Dammit Vin! We promise not to judge you, be angry at you, or anything. We just want to know that you are okay. Please, even if all you can manage right now is, "I am here."

[radiodarcy]

Vin, I know how hard it is to let go. Especially when the one you love long since has. It makes your mind turn on itself to the point where you feel as though there there is no other way out.

 

I really hope that you find - - as I have found - - that's it's all in your head.

 

You *can* let go; if you commit yourself to getting the help you need for YOU and start taking care of yourself. YOU matter. YOU come first.

 

If you haven't already, please get the help you need.

[AnyaNova]

I understand you're concerned, but I think you'll find he's perhaps somewhat embarrassed by this thread, and is choosing not to reply...

 

I really hope that is the case!

 

Vin, if it is embarrassment, perhaps the moderators would be willing to delete it if you asked? And maybe post somewhere else on another thread so we know that you are okay?

[reddragon588]

At the very least, give me a text you're ok man. Very concerned here.

[Mariposa10]

I hope you're just spending time with your family or/and friends.

 

But please, as soon as you get a chance, let us know how you are doing.

 

We're all in this together, don't forget that. We're all going through the same thing.

Today I went to do some Christmas shopping and was afraid to bump into my ex, but that didn't stop me from going out. Now that I am home, I am glad I did it, I feel much better. I can't wait for the day, when I will go out and not care whether or not I bump into my ex.

 

You're in our thoughts, you and all my breakup buddies on this forum.