Kermit76 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I thought I was doing good but today was a bad day. Consistent thoughts of her, desire to check her Facebook, anger, sadness. Sigh. When will these feeling end? Broke up after 2 years. Kind of a out of the blue BU. Had only one text conversation in those three month which didn't go well. I texted her. I was the one dumped. She was cold and mean. No intention to talk to me. Maybe what triggered it today is someone said she probably met someone else. She said she didnt at time of BU. Doesn't matter now. I think I'm more hurt for feeling erased from her life. I was so good to her. This hurts.
jessiej Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 i know exactly how you feel. i'm coming up close to my 2 month mark of the break up and we had been together for 3 years. He dumped me on the phone out of nowhere, and same situation as you, he was very cold and mean and didn't even want to talk to me. honestly, i don't know the answer to your question. I don't know when it gets better or if it really does. It's hard knowing you gave a person your everything, and were so good to them and you get nothing in return. I hope things do get better for you. As people say, everything gets better in time. And although there's no magical formula to tell how long it will take to get over someone, because everyones different, some people say that it takes half as long as the time you dated them. So for you, if you dated her for two years, it might take as long as a year to get over her. Maybe more, maybe less. Some days will be good, some days will be terrible, it's a process getting over someone, and once you accept that some days you won't be okay, it'll be better. It's okay not to be okay, you just gotta try to think positive, which I know sounds so hard. Focus being around people who love you, and doing things you enjoy. You are one heartbreak closer, to being with your soulmate
Jenny1234 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I'm at 7 months. 3 year relationship. It gets a little better not much. I am having a bad day and was just crying in my car. But my moto is just keep pushing forward....that's the only option I've been given. I haven't seen him in 7 months but it still feels like yesterday. Emotional bonds are so hard to erase! I thought by Xmas I'd be happy and slipping along in life again....no such luck! Tomorrow is a new day Chin up
Author Kermit76 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Thanks for the nice response. And better days for you too. No formula. Friends could give me all the advice in the world. Just have to handle this at my own pace. I often wonder how she is feeling. But by her coldness I think that answers that. Trying my best to take care of myself but there are setback days. Holiday season is hard. Maybe I'm just putting the blame on myself. How could I not see the meaness and coldness when we were dating. Others did. I hope this is a lesson to be learned and it will make me stronger.
MoveAlong Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 (edited) Hey Kermit, I know exactly how you feel, and i'm going through the same thing today. It's one day at a time. After being dumped in a 3 year relationship, taken by surprise, my psyche took a f***ing beating. But I'm trying my best to pull it together. You already made it 3 months....while I'm at 6 weeks of NC. Stay strong because you will be better soon. I'm behind you but today I took steps to be better. I am no longer going on social media...moved the iphone apps off my main screen...exercised..ate healthy..and am trying to stay focused on my work...and I made an account on Love Shack to be part of this awesome community. I have been reading for a while and you guys have helped me so much. This is day 1 of self-improvement. I may not have been talking to her but I have been checking facebook and doing silly stuff like that. I'm not wasting my time anymore. You can do this man. You are 3 months in...which is 3 months closer to being better. I understand the pain felt from being erased. I'm hurting too. Losing a best friend, someone who you were good to and shared everything with, is the worst. Stay strong though, because I'm so far behind you. Edited December 8, 2013 by MoveAlong left somethign out
Author Kermit76 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Thanks movealong. Yeah I went thru putting everything that reminded me of her away in storage. It was like my detox. It was me breaking no contact 3 weeks ago that really set me back. I was hoping for an affectionate caring response from her but got the complete opposite. But anyways I went with my heart and taking advice from friends that maybe I should reach out because they heard she was questioning her decision... But that was the day after BU. Maybe I'm too nice because I don't think I could treat someone like this. The cutting someone off after being so close to them. But her friend told me this is what she does and she has done it before. She is the runaway gf. Anyways you are right. I have to focus on myself. Its over. Really starting to get it. No more contact on my end. I have no choice but to move on and find someone new. Stay strong. U and everybody on here.
maturityassets Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Gets a lot better in time. Just have to view No contact as a self challenge or goal is all. On occasion I still get the urge to check my Ex's Facebook but I quickly tell myself that I would rather see how long I could go without checking (hopefully forever). Plus its exactly what you say it is just a bad day. Maybe you just feel lonely, anxious, sad, depressed or etc. but don't let those feelings hold back your progress but that doesn't mean ignore your feelings. Just be aware of them and realize what is causing you to feel that way; from there you can always do what you can to fix them... Even if it takes a little bit of overcoming of some impulses. Best of luck! 1
ponchsox Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I'm getting close to the three month mark myself. I only think about my ex every now and then instead of all the time like in the first two months. I made the mistake of breaking NC the first 6 weeks. I'm over a month of NC and I'm feeling a little better. I feel lonely at times but I realize she was not make for a happy relationship. 1
Sososad Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I know exactly how you feel .. Something strange around the 2/3 month Especially if your in oj contact ... Think the realization is hitting home it's over.. I was doing much better than all of a sudden major set backs ! Just keep moving on ..... It will get easier...
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