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Our children on infidelity...............

experiencethedevine

By experiencethedevine
in Infidelity

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lilmisscantbewrong Established Member

lilmisscantbewrong

Posted
Posted
It's not because it looks good that it is good.

 

That's why in some years I will contact the kids of my ex-MM and tell them about the affair we had AND the other affairs he had (which I found out because I felt that he was lying - and you don't lie to me because I'll dig for the truth until I find it). And I'll show them the proof I have...

 

ex-MM likes to play the role of the nice family man and father, helped by this wife who puts her head in the sand and still thinks that all these women are after her hubby (it's him who does the cheating, luring women into a relationship with lies).

 

I'm sure they held a great party for their 25 years anniversary and the kids will have thought what a great marriage their parents had. Well I'll burst that bubble :rolleyes:.

ex-MM has no clue and thinks that I am totally out of the picture. I am but I am not done with him yet because if you tell so many lies to me I will get back to you. And in order to get back I can wait a loooong time.

 

Although I understand your pain I hope you reconsider this. I am one that believes that it all comes out in time - the right time. I know you probably believe that he hasn't suffered in the same way you have. I believe my xmom "suffered" less as well - his kids were too young and had no idea while mine were very aware and had to suffer the public humiliation. It makes me angry sometimes, but you know what? It's not his kids fault he is a douche bag.

 

I have relayed this in other posts. I believe it will come out. I think in years to come his boys might be running track or playing basketball and there will be someone on an opposing team that knows the story (most likely from their own parents) and they will spill it out of spite or something and then it will have to be dealt with.

 

The other thing that concerns me a little is that my grand daughters are just a few years younger than his sons - I can see them meeting sometime at an athletic event or something in years to come. It would be ironic if they connected and it's highly likely that might.

 

Affairs, unfortunately, are the gifts that keep on giving. Unless you move away or hide under a rock, it is always there.

 

Again, if I were you I would reconsider - it will only make you look bad in the end.

 

Let it go.

crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted
What if she had been a remorseful wayward? Losing respect for your father because he would choose to forgive someone who is remorseful and wanting to work on things tells more about you then him.

 

Whether she was remourseful or not wouldn't have made a difference to me personally.

 

I've always seen my dad as an alpha male and for him to do anything otherwise would have made me see him different.

 

Right or not, logical or not, that's simply the way I felt.

ThatsJustHowIRoll Established Member

ThatsJustHowIRoll

Posted
Posted
It's not because it looks good that it is good.

 

That's why in some years I will contact the kids of my ex-MM and tell them about the affair we had AND the other affairs he had (which I found out because I felt that he was lying - and you don't lie to me because I'll dig for the truth until I find it). And I'll show them the proof I have...

 

ex-MM likes to play the role of the nice family man and father, helped by this wife who puts her head in the sand and still thinks that all these women are after her hubby (it's him who does the cheating, luring women into a relationship with lies).

 

I'm sure they held a great party for their 25 years anniversary and the kids will have thought what a great marriage their parents had. Well I'll burst that bubble :rolleyes:.

ex-MM has no clue and thinks that I am totally out of the picture. I am but I am not done with him yet because if you tell so many lies to me I will get back to you. And in order to get back I can wait a loooong time.

 

Talk about bitter! You knew he was married. You knew the lies he was capable of. You dont get to play the victim here. You participated and now you want to devastate innocent people because of your own misplaced anger? You need counselling.

  • Like 4
PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
Talk about bitter! You knew he was married. You knew the lies he was capable of. You dont get to play the victim here. You participated and now you want to devastate innocent people because of your own misplaced anger? You need counselling.

 

I was a victim because he did not tell me he was married. I was lured into the relationship. Had I known the true state of affairs I would never have gotten involved with him. Some people are very good liars.

 

All devastation resulting from this situation is HIS doing. I am not better, I am happy I found out this true colours and moved on but I am the kind of person who settles accounts. Even if it takes me many years before doing it.

 

The children will feel hurt but that won't be my mistake, it will be his.

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
This makes my hair stand on end.

 

 

You would willingly cause more harm and anguish to someone's children out of a need for vengeance?

 

 

Nice.......................................

 

In certain situations vengeance is the right thing to do.

 

He will not get away with it.

 

I am a Scorpio, I don't forget such things.

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
This makes my hair stand on end.

 

And rightfully so, at least if you have messed with my feelings. I am the kind of person on whose black list you don't want to be.

 

Don't worry, I don't get physical. I just like to bring things in the open that people have wanted to hide. The truth sets you free :laugh:!

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
I think this happens a lot and you are labelled bat shyte crazy OW to everyone.

 

Well that's the mistake his wife made. Refusing to believe me and seeing me as the bad person. So if I will tell their kids, it's to get even with him... and with her.

What was she thinking? That I wanted that miserable piece of garbage she was married to? That I told her everything so that she would leave him? I knew she would stay with him because she likes the fat paycheck without having to work with it.

The only reason I told her was to show him that I was no longer his accomplice in his lies!

  • Like 1
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experiencethedevine Established Member

experiencethedevine

Posted
  • Author
Posted
In certain situations vengeance is the right thing to do.

 

He will not get away with it.

 

I am a Scorpio, I don't forget such things.

 

 

Isn't that a coincidence? So was my husband's other woman. She didn't get away with her vengeful antics either. We had her locked up................

  • Like 1
Shepp Established Member

Shepp

Posted
Posted
What was she thinking? That I wanted that miserable piece of garbage she was married to? That I told her everything so that she would leave him? I knew she would stay with him because she likes the fat paycheck without having to work with it.

 

Is that what you liked about him as well then?? Or did you just destroy a family cause you felt like it?

  • Like 2
Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

Posted
Posted
I was a victim because he did not tell me he was married. I was lured into the relationship. Had I known the true state of affairs I would never have gotten involved with him. Some people are very good liars.

 

All devastation resulting from this situation is HIS doing. I am not better, I am happy I found out this true colours and moved on but I am the kind of person who settles accounts. Even if it takes me many years before doing it.

 

The children will feel hurt but that won't be my mistake, it will be his.

 

pink, what do you hope to accomplished here?

 

The hurting of innocent children who love their father?

 

Why do so many assume it is only the BS who wishes to turn the children against the WS?

 

Right here is a fOW who hopes to do exactly that someday in the future....

  • Like 3
sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

Posted
Posted (edited)

Wow, that is awful. I believe that the parents should decide whether the kids are informed of the affair or not. Not someone else. Not you. You're out of the picture, his wife knows and if that's how they want to handle it, let them be.

 

Dang, purposefully hurting ex-MM's innocent kids to make you feel better and get back at him is wrong on so many levels. That isn't right. Doing something like that has nothing to do with being a scorpio. Makes my heart hurt for those kids. I hope you reconsider.

 

Were you unaware of his marital status the entire length of the relationship?

Edited by sweet_pea
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experiencethedevine Established Member

experiencethedevine

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
I was a victim because he did not tell me he was married. I was lured into the relationship. Had I known the true state of affairs I would never have gotten involved with him. Some people are very good liars.

 

All devastation resulting from this situation is HIS doing. I am not better, I am happy I found out this true colours and moved on but I am the kind of person who settles accounts. Even if it takes me many years before doing it.

 

The children will feel hurt but that won't be my mistake, it will be his.

 

 

 

Hanging on to all that resentment and anger is bitterness or one would simply let it all go.

 

 

What's really nasty about it is that there are children who are already carrying some of the burden no matter what is done/said/buried, and using them as a battle spear is nothing short of vile......................

Edited by experiencethedevine
  • Like 2
waterwoman Established Member

waterwoman

Posted
Posted

Funnily enough, the affair and our reconciliation has had a recent impact on H and his relationship with our children. A week ago I had a Road ro Damascus moment that I posted about - I reached a point where I realised we were OK and that I was going to beleive what he had said a million times, that he loved me and wanted to be with me. A weight lifted off my shoulders. Since then H has relaxed and life is soooo much happier and easier, we are getting on better than ever.

 

On Friday he started to talk about how he regretted the sort of father he was, that he never wanted to be such a tense angry person in his relationship with his children, he wanted to have fun with them like I do, and that he envied me for having such a close relationship with our children. He cried and I just held him. All i could say was that he had to simply relax, let things go, don't take 'naughtiness' as a personal affront. He has FOO issues by the bucket load and never had a good role model as his dad was a feckless selfish ****! But the next day we all took a trip out to choose our christmas tree - every other year by the time we had got there H had shouted at someone, there has been a row and everyone was sitting in silence. This year he didn't get angry once, we all got on well and it was the sort of happy seasonal trip it SHOULD always have been.

 

It's only a start but I have never managed to get H to consider his attitude to the kids before this. It may be another good to come out of all this mess.

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experiencethedevine Established Member

experiencethedevine

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Funnily enough, the affair and our reconciliation has had a recent impact on H and his relationship with our children. A week ago I had a Road ro Damascus moment that I posted about - I reached a point where I realised we were OK and that I was going to beleive what he had said a million times, that he loved me and wanted to be with me. A weight lifted off my shoulders. Since then H has relaxed and life is soooo much happier and easier, we are getting on better than ever.

 

On Friday he started to talk about how he regretted the sort of father he was, that he never wanted to be such a tense angry person in his relationship with his children, he wanted to have fun with them like I do, and that he envied me for having such a close relationship with our children. He cried and I just held him. All i could say was that he had to simply relax, let things go, don't take 'naughtiness' as a personal affront. He has FOO issues by the bucket load and never had a good role model as his dad was a feckless selfish ****! But the next day we all took a trip out to choose our christmas tree - every other year by the time we had got there H had shouted at someone, there has been a row and everyone was sitting in silence. This year he didn't get angry once, we all got on well and it was the sort of happy seasonal trip it SHOULD always have been.

 

It's only a start but I have never managed to get H to consider his attitude to the kids before this. It may be another good to come out of all this mess.

 

 

You see? Your efforts have not gone unrewarded! Your husband is seeing the light and that is a very encouraging sign isn't it?

 

 

Oddly enough my husband too, when our children were little, would take their childish antics as a reflection on his character. Silly buggar.

 

 

His character was more reflected on when they all knew about his affair!

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
Is that what you liked about him as well then?? Or did you just destroy a family cause you felt like it?

 

I earn my own fat paycheck so I don't need a man for money. Ex-MMs wife is a typical overweight SAHM who fills her days with... nothing. So all these dynamic slim intelligent women at work are a real temptation for him. But eventually these women get enough of him because they discover that what he actually wants is the SAHM who has the soup and the potatoes ready when he comes home... :lmao:

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

Posted
Posted
The hurting of innocent children who love their father?

 

The children will love their father a lot less if they see his true nature. Ex-MM is a manipulator who is only interested in himself. I know he also manipulates his children. His wife on the other hand knows she is being manipulated but it suits her as long as she can sit on her fat behind and have the easy life.

 

Why do so many assume it is only the BS who wishes to turn the children against the WS?

 

If the WS would have behaved properly no one would have ammunition to turn the children against him....

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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