I think my Ex has gone off the deep end

[lost0789]

Well title kind of says it all. We dated for a bit over 2 years and in the start of November I packed my bags and left her. At the start of our relationship she gave me reasons to not trust her and I was very clear from the start I do not deal with cheating or flirting with other men. I have trust issues as it is from all my former ex's who used me as a doormat and I just can deal with that kind of stuff. I always felt like if you wanted to cheat on your lover then you dont really love them or have true feelings for them. She would always start a new job or go to a new class and make a so called "New Friend" but it was her looking for attention from other men and leading them on. It made me feel like a was nothing and she new it bugged the piss out of me and I knew what she was doing. We would have massive blow outs over it and Id pack my bags or say I was leaving her because she would lie to me or say she stopped then I would go snoop in her phone and what I would find would make me feel horrible.

 

That went on for almost a year and around our one anniversary things seemed to be good again. She stopped all the BS and flirting, I thought to my self ok she finally sees what she is doing wrong and I will forgive her. A month after our one year she starts this kick of going out with her guy friend that she knew from school. We lived together and I would never think in a million years she would have done this to me but she ended up cheating on me with him. I knew she had a past thing with him that she never told me but when I was introduced to him I could tell by the way they interacted that they once fooled around in the past. But I didnt want to be that guy who wont let her have friends so I was ok with her going out. It was during the week days and I have to get up very early for work so I just sucked it up and didnt say a word. She starts acting strange to me again so I go snoop around and find out she slept with him and on that night came home and slept with me then again on a different night went out with him and cheat on me only to come home and do things to me and sleep next to me.

 

I found out and the night I did she was down in AC with him and I blew up her phone and then called his and just went off. I packed my bags that night and said I was moving out and the next day I did. I got half way home and she some how convinced me to turn back around as she was coming home soon.... Mind you she was in no rush at all to stop me from leaving if that was me I would have been back home that very night not gambling and drinking with the guy who she cheated on me with. So she came home blocked my truck in and convinced me to stay. It was a hard next few months I hated her and wanted to break this guys hands and beat his head into his windshield.

 

After a good amount of time things seemed to be getting better and she started a new job before Xmas came around so did a new friend. She started flirting with this guy at work and the things they would text back and forth was down right wrong. Again it was like she just forgot O I need to not destroy our relationship. So i went into her phone and found this and again I was packing my bags. She ends up having a panic attack and I stayed with her. 2-3 months goes by and then it starts again. I freak out on her then she stops. then again a month or so goes past and it starts she is telling me O I am staying late at the office and then i find out that same time she texts me she is texting him to meet her for drinks.

 

So now this november rolls around and about 2 months have pasted since she was flirting around and acting sneaky. She pulls this I am confused BS on me and she doesnt know if she can date me still and needs time to think because she thinks she messed up the relationship. The same night she is going out of state for her home coming. We are fighting up till she leaves. I told her if she left things like this and we didnt talk it out I couldnt stick around and wait for judgment day for her to decide my faith. She said it was best if I left.....

 

Well you know what I did I freaking left. I packed all my stuff and took off and didnt look back once. She didnt check up on me to see if I was ok or if I even was moving out after all she thought I was bluffing probably because she had my nuts hung around her neck for the last 2 years and I have had it. I was bending over backwards for her and had to always fix the relationship even tho she was the one doing the damage. Even after I left she said she wanted to fix things and my dumb a$$ said yes and guess what.... I sat there trying to fix it while she would blow me off or say I am to beat from work then late at night she would send me a text "Hey so and so wants to go out so guess I am not going to get sleep after all" That was it and I told her off and said dont contact me and I refused to talk to her after that. You cant make time to fix things with me but you can find time to go out and drink.

 

At some point during all this when things got on better terms and she stopped her dumbness I bought an engagement ring for her. Her friends father is a jeweler and made me a custom ring. So it wasnt like I was using her or treating her like crap. She didnt have a real job for more then a year then we dated because she was getting her masters. I never once thought twice to spend my money on her and shower her in gifts. I always was doing nice things for her and showing how much I loved her. She in return stomped her boots all over me and broke my heart time after time. Our sex life was great so I know it wasnt like I was not pleasing her in that department. Her brother dealt with the same BS from his Ex and she hated his Ex for that but it was completely ok for her to do this stuff to me.

 

Well now its a week into December. and I must say I have not given her the time of day or reached out to her. I actually met a women who is a bit older then me and has her life in order and I have been going out causally with her. Nothing has happened sexually but we have gotten together a few times and enjoy each other. We text a bit during the day and it seems she is interested in seeing me. I am moving on with my life, I was going to stay single for a while but this new women in my life kind of came out of left field and I have a good feeling about her. Even if we just become friends Its showing me there are tons of fish out in the sea and I shouldnt be treated like trash from just one.

 

Out of no where 3 days ago my Ex starts to try and contact me. Its now full on blowing up my phone and calling me. Today I thought it stopped then mid afternoon my phone rings. Its her then voice mail then spamming texts to me saying she wants me back. Her grandfather passed away the 1st night this all started and I feel terrible for the family but she was trying to use that to get me to see her and talk to her. She keeps saying she wants to start over and how bad she misses me but why didnt she know this while I was devoted to her?

 

I dont want to talk to her I want to keep my ground and just move on. I have been sucked into her madness for over two years and I cant do this to my self anymore. I dont think I am anything special but all my friends keep saying I am a great guy and I should move on. I am healthy, young and keep in great shape. I want a family one day and I want to make someone happy but I feel like my Ex has been given to many chances to start with and she is nothing but bad for me.

 

Sorry for the long rant but I just need to get this out and I would love to hear what you all think. Personally I feel like she should have never got her self in this situation in the 1st place and we wouldnt be in this mess but she will never change and I am seeing the light.

[letsplaygofish2]

I don't know you at all, but it sounds like trust is a huge deal for you. Honestly, as a woman, I think having male friends is healthy. Whether anything happens or not is a matter of trust. I go out with guy friends, but nothing happens and I don't expect it. When I was with my ex, we never had any issues trusting each other.

 

Is it possible that your previous history with cheating has affected your ability to trust - causing you to over react every time she's talking to another guy? What kind of texts are on her phone? Have you considered going to therapy for the two of you?

 

You've already invested into each other for 2 years... all relationships take a lot of work. This might be that hurdle that could either make it or break it.

[Balzac]

Ignore her. She's toxic. Cease feeling sorry for her.

 

If you have to - get a new number.

[lost0789]

She cheat on me while mounting her so called friend in his car after going out for drinks. She would have guys asking her out on dates and she would say she had something come up or this or that but it was because she was with me. The guy at work she was flirting with was terrible. They would be saying that would freak any one out in a relationship. It wasnt like Hey lets have lunch it was them going out to bars and her leading him on to think she was single. She wouldnt ever say to these guys sorry I cant I have a boyfriend or am in a relationship she would tell them she had soccer practice or a game or some BS.

 

I dont think you understand that while I do have trust issues cheating is still cheating. I know I have problems but full blown sleeping with someone and coming home to tell me you love me and sleep next to me is wrong on so many levels

 

Ignore her. She's toxic. Cease feeling sorry for her.

 

If you have to - get a new number.

 

That is what I am thinking thank you Balzac

Edited December 7, 2013 by lost0789

[BlametheIrish]

Leave the crazy slut alone. It will just bring you more heartache. Block her from everything, phone, fb e mail etc. And try your best to figure out why you became a doirmat in your relationship so it doesn't happen again.

 

Just like nice people have bad moments, I'm sure your had good moments, but she sounds like an absolutly awful excuse for a human being. You can do better!!!!

[letsplaygofish2]

Yeah, if she's going around town pretending that she is single then you absolutely have the right to be freaked out. Sorry, I didn't understand the scenario because you didn't list any examples.

 

I'm sorry, blocking her would be the best approach...