Dog Woman Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I ended my two year affair with a MM months ago. My ex MM has kept in touch every few weeks wanting to meet up. Ive said no and made it clear that if he wants to be with me he had to divorce. Im single. Theres no pressure from me, its his choice.
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I think he is definitely trying to real you back in. Why else would he be contacting you and wanting to meet up? 2
Ladydrib Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I ended my two year affair with a MM months ago. My ex MM has kept in touch every few weeks wanting to meet up. Ive said no and made it clear that if he wants to be with me he had to divorce. Im single. Theres no pressure from me, its his choice. He's definitely hoping you'll get back into the affair. Without a doubt. If he wanted more he knows your expectations and he would rush to let you know if he planned to meet them. You wouldn't have to ask. Stay strong. Stand your ground.
Author Dog Woman Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Thanks for confirming my suspicions. A few weeks ago we were at the same dog show. Its the first time I had seen him since I ended the affair. He came over to talkvto me. That was fine and I just kept things civil and brief. He did most of the talking. Later it was obvious he was flirting with another woman and enjoying himself. A couple ofxweeks later he texted to tellto make me all about her. His attempt to make me jealous failed and I reminded him we were over ages ago.
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Gewwww, good riddens to him. Stay strong, you deserve so much better. 1
Author Dog Woman Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 He sent me a strange text today. Told me he wad in hospital but wouldnt give me any details. He was not forthcoming about anything and sounded down. I just wished him well and told him to take care. Cant help wondering why he contacted me.
Ladydrib Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 He sent me a strange text today. Told me he wad in hospital but wouldnt give me any details. He was not forthcoming about anything and sounded down. I just wished him well and told him to take care. Cant help wondering why he contacted me. Where's the mystery? His other attempts have been unsuccessful. He is now trying to play on your empathy. What is he not doing? He's not telling you that he's single and available. Don't over think his communication. 6
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I think you should text him back and tell him you'd be happy to come and visit him at the hospital. Don't bother to ask if his wife will be there also! 2
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 At least he is already at the hospital when he receives that text and has a heart attack!! 2
Author Dog Woman Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I think you should text him back and tell him you'd be happy to come and visit him at the hospital. Don't bother to ask if his wife will be there also! I did text him back. I didnt offer to visit but did offer a listening ear. He hasnt replied. I have met his wife. Shes lovely and doesnt deserve being cheated on. When I met her I decided to end things for her sake and for mine. I have to be careful if I ever text because she checks his phone and sometimes borrows it. I think she must suspect her husband is a womaniser I dont want to be the person who confirms that.
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I'm sorry Dog, I was being facetious with my last two posts. I am going through the mm still contacting me and am aggravated by it as I know and you probably know, it has no substance........just them trying to make themselves feel better at the expense of everyone else.......
Ladydrib Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I'm sorry Dog, I was being facetious with my last two posts. I am going through the mm still contacting me and am aggravated by it as I know and you probably know, it has no substance........just them trying to make themselves feel better at the expense of everyone else....... Can you block him? You'll never heal as long as he keeps contacting you. 2
Cinnimon Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Can you block him? You'll never heal as long as he keeps contacting you. I have chosen to ignore his attempts of contact at this point. I do not answer his calls, I do not look at his texts......I've even been able to start to stop my thoughts of him.
Ladydrib Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I have chosen to ignore his attempts of contact at this point. I do not answer his calls, I do not look at his texts......I've even been able to start to stop my thoughts of him. Good. You know he will never stop right? He has no incentive to stop. You must continue to ignore him. He will slow down as he realizes you don't respond. But he will keep trying. Once you find a fabulous available man, you'll see him as pathetic when he tries to contact you. 3
Author Dog Woman Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Can you block him? You'll never heal as long as he keeps contacting you. If you can, block him and give youraelf some space. Ive got my ex MM on a reject call list but this doesnt block texts. I am not bothered if ex MM contacts me. I posted the thread because I was sure if ex MM was trying to reel me or not. I gave my ex MM a 'take care but Im not concerned your in hospital reply', and then felt guilty in case he is genuinely ill and just wanted someone to talk to. 1
Ladydrib Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 If you can, block him and give youraelf some space. Ive got my ex MM on a reject call list but this doesnt block texts. I am not bothered if ex MM contacts me. I posted the thread because I was sure if ex MM was trying to reel me or not. I gave my ex MM a 'take care but Im not concerned your in hospital reply', and then felt guilty in case he is genuinely ill and just wanted someone to talk to. Let him talk to his wife. He probably never felt guilty for you pain. Assuming that since he caused you pain and is still coming back after you moved on... 3
RickFox Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 He sent me a strange text today. Told me he wad in hospital but wouldnt give me any details. He was not forthcoming about anything and sounded down. I just wished him well and told him to take care. Cant help wondering why he contacted me. why does he contact you? because you let him. you haven't told him to stop, you haven't blocked him, you talk to him and respond to him every time he texts you. why should he stop, even negative contact is contact.... you know damn well why he's contacting you and the very fact it's got you wondering shows how susceptible you really are, despite what you say here
Pastypop Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Change your phone number and when he comes over to talk to you tell him to go blank blank. That ought to do the trick. It worked well for me. 3
mikecr50 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Unless you want back on the rollercoaster don't respond! Changing phone number brilliant! 1
whichwayisup Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 I did text him back. I didnt offer to visit but did offer a listening ear. He hasnt replied. I have met his wife. Shes lovely and doesnt deserve being cheated on. When I met her I decided to end things for her sake and for mine. I have to be careful if I ever text because she checks his phone and sometimes borrows it. I think she must suspect her husband is a womaniser I dont want to be the person who confirms that. He is not leaving his wife, he is testing the waters and seeing if you're still gonna be there for him and are interested, that's it. Cut him off, move on and forget him. I know it'll hurt but GO complete no contact with him, it's only way you can get control back of your life and not be manipulated and sucked into his life. You two cannot be friends, otherwise you'll never heal and let go of him inside your heart. NC is for YOU to heal, not a game or a ploy in hopes to get him back. 1
Author Dog Woman Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 He is not leaving his wife, he is testing the waters and seeing if you're still gonna be there for him and are interested, that's it. Cut him off, move on and forget him. I know it'll hurt but GO complete no contact with him, it's only way you can get control back of your life and not be manipulated and sucked into his life. You two cannot be friends, otherwise you'll never heal and let go of him inside your heart. NC is for YOU to heal, not a game or a ploy in hopes to get him back. I am not hoping to get him back, just wish he'd get the message I'm not interested anymore. It's not in my nature to seem uncaring and be tough but I realise that is what I have to do with him and even the negative responses he gets from me doesn't deter him. He is obviously always going to try to contact me. So from now on I am just going to ignore all his texts. As explained my phone won't block texts from a number just phone calls and I have had the same number for years that all my friends etc are familiar with. I don't see why I should change it just for one person. He's not threatening me, being abusive etc and not texting to a point that he's stalking me. As which way is up has said - he just tests the water. I just wasn't sure what he was doing yesterday - that's why I posted on here. I just needed to clarify things in my head. 2
Author Dog Woman Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Now that I have straightened my thoughts and feelings towards ex MM, and decided that I must ignore him from now on, I have also got rid of all of the presents he gave me. I kept hold them as I have no ill feeling towards him but now that they have gone off to the charity shop, I feel so much better and hopefully I can move on further. 1
Author Dog Woman Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 It has been a bit of an emotional week this week since ex MM last contacted me and I decidedI would ignore all his attempts to contact me. At times I have felt low and quite depressed. However my mood is lifting. As I suspected exMM contacted me again today with usual stuff, usual requests. At first I ignored him and then I decided I would text him back one last time to literally blow him out of the water (metaphorically speaking). Before anyone criticises me for doing this, I would just say I feel a whole lot better for doing so and should have done it weeks ago when I told him things were over. Today I told him not to ever contact me again and that any future texts etc from him would not even get read and would deleted. I have told him to keep away from me should he see me in the future and contrary to his belief that I need him and always will, I told him I don't, neither emotionally nor physically. 1
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 It has been a bit of an emotional week this week since ex MM last contacted me and I decidedI would ignore all his attempts to contact me. At times I have felt low and quite depressed. However my mood is lifting. As I suspected exMM contacted me again today with usual stuff, usual requests. At first I ignored him and then I decided I would text him back one last time to literally blow him out of the water (metaphorically speaking). Before anyone criticises me for doing this, I would just say I feel a whole lot better for doing so and should have done it weeks ago when I told him things were over. Today I told him not to ever contact me again and that any future texts etc from him would not even get read and would deleted. I have told him to keep away from me should he see me in the future and contrary to his belief that I need him and always will, I told him I don't, neither emotionally nor physically. Now you should change your number. Peace of mind. Good for you for telling him off. Though you must absolutely mean it this time, no caving or answering any more of his texts or calls. You're done with him, be 100% done with him. 2
Author Dog Woman Posted December 15, 2013 Author Posted December 15, 2013 Now you should change your number. Peace of mind. Good for you for telling him off. Though you must absolutely mean it this time, no caving or answering any more of his texts or calls. You're done with him, be 100% done with him. Changing my number would be the next step but he could easily get hold of a new number and my contact numbers because of our mutual hobby as my contact details are published publicly in dog show catalogues, dog breeders lists and my website. I can easily obtain his contact details, even if he changes these in the future in the same way and if I wanted to be really vindictive and through him under a bus as his marital home number is published on his website but I am not a vindictive person. I just want to put the last two years behind me and move on. What I have decided to do, is upgrade my phone so that I can easily block texts and phone numbers and I have changed my land line phone so that it has caller display. Obviously he could try and contact me from a different number but I suspect he'll just try and text every few week as he is now. I don't feel threatened by him, just want to block him out as much as possible. There will be times where he will probably be at the same show as me but I'll deal with that. We have different breeds so we won't end up in the same show ring just at the same venue but I am sure I'll find ways of keeping out of his way.
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