The so called "Friendzone"

[Zeroes]

This is something I hear about a lot, mainly online on any website or forum related to dating/gender studies/etc etc actually, but still. Men complaining about being "friendzoned" by a woman they like who are not interested back.

 

I get that some men get annoyed when women give them mixed messages or are not honest with them and mess them about, but it seems to me like some of these men are trying to attach guilt to women who genuinely do like them as friends because of common interests, humour, etc. But are not attracted to/interested in them sexually.

 

Are these men suggesting that a woman should enter a relationship with them or at least have sex with them just because they get along?

 

Not trying to bait a gender war or anything, just curious to see what people think.

[lilpandabear8675309]

The friend zone thing has always boggled me a bit too. From friends I know, they are either guys who have been too scared to share their feelings or hang around hoping that she will manifest her feelings first.

 

For those who have real feelings, it would be prudent to express those feelings though it may be easier said than done. No one is a mind reader after all!

 

For those who are hanging around just waiting for sex only, they are not true friends. A true friend will not be concerned with getting in someones pants and would be happy with a friends only relationship.

 

Just my little two cents.

[hotpotato]

Yes, some guys expect sex or a date because they give the man the time of day.

 

I dont have a need for guy friends.

 

Anything a woman does or doesn't do is proof that she wants to further the relationship. It's easy to give someone the wrong impression when they like you.

 

I will say I dont think it's right for a woman to accept favors from a man who is obviously interested in her but the feeling is not mutual. I would also say she shouldnt even hang around him, but that would mean a lot of male attention they get would dry up over night.

 

If a man is attracted to me and wants to further the relationship, that is not a friend that is a suitor.

 

That being said, sometimes it should be blatantly obvious to a man that a woman is not interested in. For example, I had a man old enough to almost be my grandfather expect sex because I was a little nice to him (and 'a little' is right).

 

The big problem with these friendship is projection. Both parties project their own feelings on the other (usually not mutual feelings), and in the end the both end up hurt and confused.

[StanMusial]

I always understood it to describe the situation in which a guy likes a girl romantically, but she doesn't like him that way but he keeps hanging around and talking to her as a platonic friend.

 

It's not rocket science. I don't see how it is good or bad or an objectional term, it just describes a common situation in relationships.

 

Sure guys are going to gripe about it, but it's a free country, no one is making them hang around like that.

[jeremy2125]

There are several situations on falling in the "friend zone" and there are ways to get out of it. Obviously if anyone treats a potential date like a friend, they will more than likely become friend zoned. Treat someone that you're interested in as if you're looking for more than a friendship. State your true intentions and it will either work if she is interested, and if not, then move on.

[Iguanna]

My opinion is that every woman who has some brain recognizes whether a guy is interested in her as a friend or if he has further purposes. Guys are not that good on hiding it when they like a girl, and girls have this instinct to understand it. This is one fact for me. The other fact is that girls always like to be liked and admired and flirted, even from a guy who they would never consider as a lover. It's in our nature to take this confirmation from others that we are desirable and pretty. Now, with these facts in mind, I would say that the way that a woman will deal with a guy who seems to have more than friendly feelings from her but she doesn't like him depends on her character. Some women will try to take advantage of him financially or emotionally, cause a man in love is very vulnerable, so they will just take one step forth and 3 steps back with him to keep him intrigued and hoping. Some women will gently show that they are not interested, but the guy will not understand their signals. Some women won't do anything about this matter and wait for the guy to realize it himself and other women may tell him in his face that they are not interested.

 

A guy should not be totally inactive, he should take his fate in his own hands and do something to find out about her feelings. This can be hug her in a really soft and protective way showing that it's not friendly or telling her that they don't see her as a friend.