yanx84 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 So my girlfriend said she was doing a "girls night" out last night. She sends me a text this morning at 3 am telling me that she loves me and that she has to tell me something before I think she is hiding something from me. Then tells me that she ran into her ex last night on his birthday. I don't know what to think right now. I mean she's a pretty trust worthy person but we've been dating for a year and they went out for 6. Plus she just HAPPENED to run into him on his BIRTHDAY in the town she purposely went to to have a girls night out where she knows he lives... on his birthday. Coincidence? Having a hard time believing it, and I don't know what to feel right now as these feelings are all too familiar.. I don't know if should be mad, caring, understanding, nervous or what.. i'm leaning towards a little pissed as i honestly feel she knew about this all along..
veggirl Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Did she give anymore details than that? Did she end up spending time with him? Sounds like a drunk confession tbh, I'd be wary. She did something and is worried about who will tell you. I don't see why she'd even mention it if she ran into him and just continued on her way you know?
truth_seeker Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 She definitely feels guilty of doing something and is very worried you will find out from someone. This is why she is coming to you first. Most likely, she still has feelings for the ex and wanted to see what he has been up to before letting go of him entirely and being with you.
soccerrprp Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 1. Drove, went a distance to a town where her ex lived to have a girls night out... 2. On his birthday 3. Must be a popular venue b/c why not party elsewhere in the town; she knew ex was going to be there? 4. she came out and told you when it could have been very innocent; is she hiding any more interaction with ex? Yeah, I'd be a little suspicious too. Just talk to her about it.
Elliotte Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 The 'girls night' part sure sounds like a false pretext and part of why she feels bad enough to confess something. I'd ask her what is up, sounds like she's just given you the tip of her confession.
skela Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Sounds suspicious. I would talk to her about this in person - not by text.
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I think that boards like these make people paranoid . . . on both sides. Her GFs were probably telling her that she HAD to tell you that the EX was there. I never thought stuff like that was important. But after getting married, I thought hey maybe based on what all these people think & say I need to be more open. So I ran into an EX & grabbed a coffee with him. Came home & told my husband who looked at me like I was nuts then said, Why are you telling me this? Was it amazing coffee or something? I said no, all these internet people said I have to "come clean". He was unimpressed. Later based on advice I read on boards like this, I told him that some guy flirted with me. DH asked if I wanted him to beat the guy up or something. I said no. Then he laughed at me & said that flirting is like breathing to me & if I told him everytime some guy flirted with me or I flirted back I'd practically have to tell him about every second of my day. He then asked that I only tell him if the guy was inappropriate & I need him to intervene. I thought that was fair. When your GF is sober, you can ask a few more Qs but I don't see anything to worry about. 1
Author yanx84 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Did she give anymore details than that? Did she end up spending time with him? Sounds like a drunk confession tbh, I'd be wary. She did something and is worried about who will tell you. I don't see why she'd even mention it if she ran into him and just continued on her way you know? I never responded back and she still hasn't said anything.. I woke up to the text and just felt a sickening feeling right away that I didn't even want to say anything to her. Last GF cheated and happened the same way.. too familiar feeling. She's honestly one of the last people I would ever expect to do something like that but still I know there are really no rules when it's someone you've dated for a long time and you're drunk. It's funny because I think of the things leading up to this and I remember her telling me that she was also doing something during the day today with her friends and that we would hang out tonight. Now I just feel like she's with him..
MidwestUSA Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I never responded back and she still hasn't said anything.. I woke up to the text and just felt a sickening feeling right away that I didn't even want to say anything to her. Last GF cheated and happened the same way.. too familiar feeling. She's honestly one of the last people I would ever expect to do something like that but still I know there are really no rules when it's someone you've dated for a long time and you're drunk. It's funny because I think of the things leading up to this and I remember her telling me that she was also doing something during the day today with her friends and that we would hang out tonight. Now I just feel like she's with him.. By now, she's wondering why you haven't replied. Whether she was up to no good or not, you're not helping yourself by delaying the inevitable. I'm not as paranoid as most people here, and am prone to giving the benefit of the doubt. Text her to firm up your plans for tonight, as if nothing at all is wrong. You'll know soon enough if she's guilty. I agree, if she was with girlfriends and ran into her ex, they more than likely convinced her to tell you about it. No harm in that.
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