the_entertainer1 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I met this guy through an online dating site a couple of months ago. We were emailing/texting once or twice a week for the last 2 months or so and then last week we finally met up and went on our first date. I had to postpone once and reschedule the time the second time, so I feel quite lucky that he was understanding about it! The date was 9am on a Sunday morning for coffee - not the most 'romantic' or anything, but we've both been really busy with work and it was the only time we could do it. I enjoyed myself and I guess he did too because he's asked me out again. This time we're doing lunch on a Thursday. I'm on holidays and he does shift work, so it's convenient for us to meet even though it's a week day. Anyway, I'm probably jumping the gun, but assuming that this date goes well and we keep seeing each other, it'll be the first time in my 24 years that I've been seeing someone at Christmas time. I'm naturally a generous person and I love giving gifts to my friends and family - but if we do end up going on 2-3 more dates between now and Christmas, is it too soon to get this guy a small gift? If so - any ideas about what? Would love to hear some people's views on the matter. Cheers.
salparadise Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 No, it's not too soon. If you've seen him several times and the intent is to keep on dating, then I think there would be some expectation. I wouldn't go overboard though, and also give him a hint about not going overboard. Maybe a book and some homemade cookies or candy? 1
Goomba Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 (edited) If your going to buy something keep it small, fairly low cost and fairly generic. I met someone last year. And decided to buy her a little teddy. She started to be a bit funny with me and kept changing date times and days last minute. So I kept the teddy for myself. Or go down the homemade cookie route like salparadise suggested. I don't think he would expect anything, just see how things progress the next few weeks then decide. Edited December 7, 2013 by Goomba
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I would err on the side of the spirit of the season but understand this is not so much a gift but a gesture. Low cost & relatively generic is best. For a guy I'd suggest as others have said homemade cookies; I have also give a basic scarf (that's easily regifted) or a bottle of his favorite liquor, although that can get expensive if it's something really high end. Coffee; a funny mug; maybe a t-shirt with a stupid saying if you are sure it's his personality; some kind of gadget / toy (I think radio shack makes a remote controlled robot spider for about $10)
writergal Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 One brief relationship I had started in October, and so I assumed it would be okay to exchange Christmas presents with my then-boyfriend. Well was I wrong. I bought him several small gifts but he didn't bother, which hurt my feelings. Then he ran across the street to a bookstore, and threw it at me out of the package, and said "Merry Christmas." He dumped me 2 weeks later. If you're sure that you'll be together after Christmas then keep the gifts small and inexpensive. Don't go out of your way just yet, to overwhelm him with presents. Have you two agreed that you'll exchange gifts? Have that conversation first. Ask him, "Do you want to exchange Christmas gifts with each other?" See what he says. You don't want to be surprised like I was.
Author the_entertainer1 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Some interesting responses so far - I've had mixed views from people. Some say to get something little, others say don't, because he won't get me anything. Guys - this is over to you. If you'd been on perhaps 3-4 dates with a girl within a month before Christmas, would you get her a small gift?
Joaquin Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Yes. Though as above it would be something inexpensive, but it would handed over wrapped and with a bunch of flowers. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 Let me add, after 3-4 dates I would get something little as above. I would expect that the guy would not get me anything (this is a way of guarding my heart, expecting the worst & not getting as hurt if I'm dissappointed). However, if the guy did absolutely nothing -- no card, no candy cane, nothing -- I'd reevaluate him. I don't like stingy people. If he's stingy at Christmas -- not even into the spirit -- it would make me Q his long term potential. 1
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