How to proceed with a good friend that turned into a nightmare holiday partner?

[Philosopher]

I have a platonic female friend whom I have known for over six years. When we meet up we usually have quite a good laugh together and I generally enjoy spending time with her.

 

Therefore I decided it would be a good idea to go on a two week holiday with her. This turned out to be a big, big mistake. Firstly during the trip, she insisted in making almost all the decisions, such as what sites we were going see and to what restaurants we were going to. Frequently if I made a decision such as to visit this place or even to sit down at a certain table in a cafe, she would veto it for some reason and I would have to end up going with her suggestion.

 

Secondly she kept on asking me to do little favours for me, such as asking me to ask for directions, asking me to organise tickets and travel for almost everything we were going to see and asking me to carry much of her stuff in my rucksack. If I refused, she would frequently say that I was being weird. Even though I had done most of the organising and bookings in terms of hotels and flights, on a couple occasions, when I refused she started a big angry rant, saying that she had done all the organising and that I should be doing it all.

 

Finally she kept criticising me for such things as what I was eating, for not having my travel documents in perfect order and for asking her questions on stuff I did not know much about (she said I should read about it instead). Basically I felt that if I did something differently from how she would do it, she would criticise me for it.

 

I feel like her behaviour has irreversibly damaged the friendship and I am worried she will behave in a similar way when I see her in the future, however on the other hand I don't want to end it just because a holiday went badly. Should I continue with the friendship, or should I end it?

[d0nnivain]

I would continue the friendship but on a watered down basis. Some people don't just travel well together. Spend some time apart & then gradually move her back into the parts of your life where you are comfortable. Don't get too upset if she fades away.

 

As much as you didn't like this trip, she probably has her own reasons why you weren't her ideal travel partner either.

[Philosopher]

I would continue the friendship but on a watered down basis. Some people don't just travel well together. Spend some time apart & then gradually move her back into the parts of your life where you are comfortable. Don't get too upset if she fades away.

 

As much as you didn't like this trip, she probably has her own reasons why you weren't her ideal travel partner either.

 

Thanks for the advice. I will stick to meeting her in safer surroundings next time and see whether her behaviour on the holiday was a one off or not.

[CC12]

Try to be forgiving. There's no doubt in my mind that you both annoyed each other. When you think of it that way, it would be kind of silly to be like, "But I was way less annoying than she was." Just call it even.

 

I think if you spend every waking moment for two weeks in close quarters with anyone you'd end up annoying each other. I don't think you should end the friendship over it. Why not try clearing the air and addressing it? Maybe take a little accountability. "I had a lot of fun on our trip, but was it just me, or was there some tension between us at times? I'm sorry if I did anything annoying." Then hopefully you can each have a laugh about it and move on.