relevate11 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Hi everyone, Lately I've been feeling quite awkward. I've been dating this girl for 6 months now and everything went ok. She was always the one calling me and sending me messages. Most of the times called me three times a day, which I thought was quite a lot. But I liked her so it was Ok. Everything was fine up untill last week. We hung out about a week ago and all was nice. Had a nice dinner and a good chat. So she told me to text when I came home. I texted her when I came home and I had an annoyed feeling since normally she answers which she wouldn't now. So I just thought maybe she fell asleep and waited. Now I noticed last week she has not called me at all, just send me some bull**** texts about stupid stuff going on in her life. Nothing really intimate. I'm quite annoyed by this. I've texted her back a few times, but the convo stopped quickly. I have not tried calling her, since my main opinion is: If she wants to talk to me, she will call me. Yesterday I send her a text that if she wanted to talk to me, she could and could call me. I haven't send her any text since, because it is starting to annoy me. How would you handle this. On one hand I want to talk to her, but I do not be the one to call her loads of times and I do not want to come off too eager, so I'm going really slow. On the other hand I do not want to come of as disinterested, therefor I send her the text which said she could call me. Basically I hate games, but getting sucked in to play them. Which irritates me.
the_entertainer1 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 In my opinion, you're coming off as disinterested. I dated a guy a little earlier in the year, for about four months. It never really got too serious but I don't think he'd had a girlfriend before. He was pretty shy. I was always the one texting him or arranging dates (even when he suggested them) and I got sick of it. So I stopped messaging him and he didn't start. We weren't really that well suited in the end. Anyway, my point is - girls like to be made a fuss of. I don't know about the girl you're seeing, but I'd much prefer to hear from a guy too much than not enough. Just call her!
Author relevate11 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Maybe you are right. I more have the feeling she knows very well that I'm interested. I'm just scared to initiate cause I'm scared to get hurt. Maybe it's best if I just tell her this. By the way, she called me today after the text that she could call me and already send me some texts. So maybe you are absolutely right that she feels my laid back attitude as a lack of interest. Stupid how people work. Next time I see her I will just talk about this.
soccerrprp Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Maybe you are right. I more have the feeling she knows very well that I'm interested. I'm just scared to initiate cause I'm scared to get hurt. Maybe it's best if I just tell her this. By the way, she called me today after the text that she could call me and already send me some texts. So maybe you are absolutely right that she feels my laid back attitude as a lack of interest. Stupid how people work. Next time I see her I will just talk about this. Good for you. I philosophy has always been to do what I want to do and not play by some silly game rules or what not. If you are not willing to give 100% then get out. I communicate with my gf daily (emails, texting), but we're in a LDR. We don't speak on the phone but 1-2x per week. No need for more in our situation and our busy lives and how secure we are in our relationship. Don't play the games. Good luck.
Fondue Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I am by no means a relationship expert, but the following advice has worked for me thus far in all my relationships/dating. I suggest you set the tone on communication standards pretty early on. If you want to not be stuck in a continuous pattern of constant communication, then do NOT be easily accessible, or reply/call back quickly. Take time between your texts/calls, and don't always rush to the phone. The opposite sex will pick up on that very quickly. And they will not expect you to change your pattern to accommodate them. They will instead accommodate YOU. They will mirror YOU. So you won't feel smothered, and then won't feel bad about not answering her because you already have many hours between communication as is. I hope that made some sense. What I'm trying to say is, don't communicate a lot early on. It will only make it more difficult for you in the future when you guys start second guessing each other and playing games for power. Build trust by being able to be separate people-- that includes being comfortable will less frequent texting. It is difficult to change that pattern now, but in future relationships... Think about it.
Author relevate11 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Thanks for your responses. I know what I do and do not feel. I will not change my way, nor run out after someone, cause I have my pride. I'll just stick to my guns and go my own way. Not worrying about whether or not to call or do. You cannot change love or either attraction. Games are for fools.
Recommended Posts