A New Tactic?

[cbaxter]

Ok, I need an honest opinion and I know this is gonna be a bit controversial. There's this girl I'm crazy about who I have a class with. Sadly, I'm right smack dab in the friend zone due to some missed opportunities, or so I think. The play-by-play:

 

1st date:

Amazing although we didn't get very touchy-feely, we talked forever and she was positively glowing when she left and we made plans to meet again.

 

Hung out at school the following week:

I laid it on real thick, leaned in real close, touched her occasionally, complimented her hair, whispered in her ear, all with no negative response on her end, but... when it came time to say goodbye I hugged but just didn't kiss her. Big oops, but cut a guy a break. Her breath was off and I didn't have any gum. Honestly I would've kissed her anyway, but I didn't want to embarrass her. Kinda awkward goodbye.

 

2nd date:

She flaked due to finals and hey, maybe it was the truth. But spent some time with her that very day at school and she's positively chilly, leaning away from me, and things moved along okay but when she said goodbye she patted me on the back like I was her bro or something. Ouch. She tells me, "text me soon and we'll go for coffee."

 

Coffee date:

Hasn't happened yet. Last chance to salvage this. Conventional wisdom says that she's already written me off and she's telling me loud and clear by calling me "dude" and all that crap. But what if I mix things up? Way I see it there's three ways to play this:

 

A) Go on the coffee date (assuming she even says yes) and wallow in friend zone hell. Not acceptable.

B) Counter her coffee offer with "let's grab a beer instead." If she says no, I back off for a few days and try again. If she says yes, I work my best charms, let the beer soften my nerves, and feel out the situation. Probably ineffective.

C) Similar to B with the adult beverage scenario, but instead of playing the game (badly) again, I change the rules. I tell look, I'm sorry for sending mixed signals and laying it on all thick. Then I proceed to shower her with compliments about how beautiful and smart and intriguing she is and how I'm crazy about her... and then swerve right off the map with "I just want to be friends." I tell her to call me, give her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and disappear into the night.

 

BUT WHY?

 

I'm already in the friend zone. Screwed anyway... so doing exactly the opposite of what she's expecting will derail status quo one way or another. This isn't me being a dick. This is what she wanted in the first place - for me to take the lead. It tells her I can in fact take control and have things on my terms, not hers. But the crucial part of this is that I lay out all the ways I'm incredibly IN to her right before putting up a wall. I'm basically saying, "You had your chance and I'm done messing around. If you want to try again, ball's in your court." This way if she's still remotely interested, she'll have to chase me now. It flips the switch. Or it just kills the whole thing and we both move on. Either way at least I'm not stuck in friend zone. But... am I crazy or am I on to something?

Edited December 7, 2013 by cbaxter

[ShyGuy5]

At least you got the first date with her, I couldn't even ask a girl in my class that so you are ahead of the game. Why not instead of trying to game with her just tell her that you are really intrigued by her in class and want to get to know her better. Don't try to play games because your games will then be dissected and gamed against.

[haggard969]

just be honest with her, tell her you want to date her, and if she says no then you dont have to waist time anymore