He said he loves me but he cheated and got another woman pregnant

[jasmine29]

I really want help! I have been with my bf for 6 years now. Since we first dated he really wanted to have child with me.. I was not ready at first.. but after 3 years of being together I consider myself ready to build a family with him.. just then I found out that he cheated on me with my bestfriend. I was heart broken and left him but he kept coming back to me and asked for forgiveness and told me it was a mistake. Because I love him soo much even though I was hurt - I accepted him to my life again. Since then we were having ups and downs and our relationship was in a bad shape compared to the first years we dated... He always went out drinking and flirting around with other women and when i confronted him about it.. he said that he loves me and i would not have to worry as he's just playing around with this women and does not have a heart for them.

 

I guess I really love him that much that it came to an extent that I was ready to accept all his drinking and flirting habits because I believe that deep inside he still loves me. There are times when he asked me when can I get pregnant so that he can stop flirting around?? I was upset with myself cos its been years and yet I cannot get pregnant.. Just then about 5 months ago I found out that he has gotten another woman pregnant and this woman is his work colleague. I was devastated and hurt and told him why did he do that to me?? he said he has done many wrong things and admit he was unfaithful and apologized.. and also said he still loves me and cannot live without me.. but he also wants a child so he will support that woman for his child... I was hurt and did not know what to do.. At first I left him but then he called me again and apologized, wanted me back.. so I went back again because of this f**ken love!! I cannot stand everytime he went to work he will see that woman face to face.. because they work together! so we always argue everyday!! Just recently we had a fight again when I heard that he went to see that woman at her house... I told him about that and he said he just want to make sure that she is okay with his baby in her.. I told him that it is not a problem when he wants to see that woman for his child but he should share everything with me.. if he had told me first that he will go and see her that will make things easier for me.. but he didn't!! he did things behind my back and I had to learn them from my friends... So we had a bad fight that at last he told me.. this isn't working anymore!! He apologized for all his actions and told me that it's time for us to move on...!!! I was hurt and cried my heart out infront of him.. but I can tell from his face that he was hurt too but too proud to show it!!!! Right now my heart aches... I feel miserable, I can't focus on my work.. can't feel happiness.. I want to move on but I can;t get him off my head!!!!! Please help me get some advise... is it possible to get back with him or not??? Besides he hasn't texted or called me after the first time he ended our relationship... Are men always like this?? I want to be strong and move on.. but it's soo hard.. PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICES!!

[Zoe Lilith]

I really want help! I have been with my bf for 6 years now. Since we first dated he really wanted to have child with me.. I was not ready at first.. but after 3 years of being together I consider myself ready to build a family with him.. just then I found out that he cheated on me with my bestfriend. I was heart broken and left him but he kept coming back to me and asked for forgiveness and told me it was a mistake. Because I love him soo much even though I was hurt - I accepted him to my life again. Since then we were having ups and downs and our relationship was in a bad shape compared to the first years we dated... He always went out drinking and flirting around with other women and when i confronted him about it.. he said that he loves me and i would not have to worry as he's just playing around with this women and does not have a heart for them.

 

I guess I really love him that much that it came to an extent that I was ready to accept all his drinking and flirting habits because I believe that deep inside he still loves me. There are times when he asked me when can I get pregnant so that he can stop flirting around?? I was upset with myself cos its been years and yet I cannot get pregnant.. Just then about 5 months ago I found out that he has gotten another woman pregnant and this woman is his work colleague. I was devastated and hurt and told him why did he do that to me?? he said he has done many wrong things and admit he was unfaithful and apologized.. and also said he still loves me and cannot live without me.. but he also wants a child so he will support that woman for his child... I was hurt and did not know what to do.. At first I left him but then he called me again and apologized, wanted me back.. so I went back again because of this f**ken love!! I cannot stand everytime he went to work he will see that woman face to face.. because they work together! so we always argue everyday!! Just recently we had a fight again when I heard that he went to see that woman at her house... I told him about that and he said he just want to make sure that she is okay with his baby in her.. I told him that it is not a problem when he wants to see that woman for his child but he should share everything with me.. if he had told me first that he will go and see her that will make things easier for me.. but he didn't!! he did things behind my back and I had to learn them from my friends... So we had a bad fight that at last he told me.. this isn't working anymore!! He apologized for all his actions and told me that it's time for us to move on...!!! I was hurt and cried my heart out infront of him.. but I can tell from his face that he was hurt too but too proud to show it!!!! Right now my heart aches... I feel miserable, I can't focus on my work.. can't feel happiness.. I want to move on but I can;t get him off my head!!!!! Please help me get some advise... is it possible to get back with him or not??? Besides he hasn't texted or called me after the first time he ended our relationship... Are men always like this?? I want to be strong and move on.. but it's soo hard.. PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICES!!

He did you a favour -Thank him for that! Tell him that you're sorry you wasted your time on him and wave your final goodbye! Stay strong

[Mrlonelyone]

I'd say you should cut him loose and let him build that family with the woman he got pregnant. What he wanted was a baby, she gave it to him. Ideally he would have been totally honest about things and broke it off with you before moving on. He did not.

 

 

He may love you, but in life, he wanted a child, now he has it.

[Raena]

If you haven't already, go look for the sticky on no contact and doing the 180.

 

I understand your pain and confusion. Ending relationships is always hard, but you should really consider what it is you really want out of a relationship with a man. One who blatantly flirts, cheats and lies is probably not high on your priority list.

 

Letting go of the feelings you have for him will be hard, but it's what you must do. Let him go and thank your lucky stars you aren't the one pregnant with his child.

[Never Again]

Yikes.

 

Yikes.

 

Yikes.

 

This is going to hurt you, but seriously, kick this guy to the curb.

 

This is a toxic relationship. You're attached because you're convinced there's good in him that's directed at you - and that's keeping the relationship teetering between "UNHEALTHY" and "in love", neither of which is the natural resting state of a healthy, long term relationship.