Author mtnbiker3000 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 The reason why you got duped with her is not, you didn't see the red flags. You see them but you tried to manipulate the situation and so did she. If she didn't love you at all, she wouldn't be dragging her feet with you. Obviously she sees something valuable that she can manipulate and use you. So in a way, both of you are out manipulating each other. Maybe so. One thing is for sure... she was much better at it than me
robbysurfs Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 It has been about 8month since she went MIA on me without a word. We started seeing each other again for a few months after our bu. I was another guy she serial dated and tossed away. We were on and off for a year and I am having a hard time letting go of the past. When I think back about her she was cold,selfish,and dark in many ways. Why do I do the things I do for the women in my life. I was graced with some good advice tho. My buddy said to me "hey man! do you really miss her? did you really like her? Or is this about you wanting to feel better about yourself? Ask yourself is this about how she made you feel? It helped me because in reality she was not really a nice chick but she made me feel good so it was more about me. If I was straight with me like self esteem wise I would of dropped the .... a long time ago. Just some food for thought because a good person wont treat you like ****.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 If I was straight with me like self esteem wise I would of dropped the .... a long time ago. Just some food for thought because a good person wont treat you like ****. Yessiree!!! 100% correct in my opinion!!!! If you read up on my posts you will see that I have discovered some things about myself and often make similar observations and suggestions to others. Examine and understand your: -Co-dependency -Self-esteem -Self-confidence -Self-worth -Boundaries -Decision making -Etc... 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Mtnbiker, I have read a lot of your posts and I can definitely understand why you're sick of already. I don't know, but something tells me you're at the tail end of it. You're almost on the other side. I for one will miss "seeing you around" but at the same time, I'll be totally happy for you!! (and jealous) Hahaha!!!! I hope you pop in once in a while though. peace and hugs! 1
sambo77 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Yeah, now she can F.O.A.D. But then, I was very concerned with her thoughts and feelings. Her crying made me feel incredibly bad and I would do anything to make her feel better. I used to think that made me a caring, thoughtful boyfriend. Now I realize that just made me a complete wuss!! Mtn...the "present you" can sit here now and suggest that the "past you" was a wuss or a mug. But that version of you was in a different place and did what he thought and felt was right...go easy on yourself. You've been great at rolling with the punches through all of this. So keep doing it. As we've learned. You just don't know what you're gonna wake up to tomorrow. Could be on the way up...could be on the way back down...we all now how it goes. It's unpredictable. But whatever it is, I just try to make sure that when I go to bed at night I can say that I lived through whatever the day chucked at me with integrity and dignity (according to how I define them). To me...that's all a good life is... 1
Million.to.1 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 You should ask for the ring back. An engagement ring is a symbol of a promise to each other. She has no right to keep it as a "memento" (sentimental about a failed relationship?) and it belongs to you. You are a generous and honest person and she is taking advantage of your good nature. Getting it back from her would help with your healing. You don't need to feel anger towards her. You need to clear this up and do the right thing, which she clearly can't do on her own. (she should have never asked to keep it! What a cheek!) You should sell it and put the money towards something for yourself or give it to a charity if you feel like its tainted. Turn something negative into something positive. When you meet a woman who loves you, and you are in a happy relationship, your anger for your ex will dissipate, but you need to right this wrong or it will always be a issue of contention between you and resentment will fester. Send her an email explaining that you are sorry that in your post break-up haze you said she could keep it, that was wrong, but now that you see things more clearly, you require it back. If she protests, just keep saying that returning the ring is the right thing to do, and she knows it.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I for one will miss "seeing you around" but at the same time, I'll be totally happy for you!! (and jealous) Hahaha!!!! I hope you pop in once in a while though. peace and hugs! Don't worry... I have a feeling I will be around for a while longer. Not sure if that's a good thing or not 1
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Send her an email explaining that you are sorry that in your post break-up haze you said she could keep it, that was wrong, but now that you see things more clearly, you require it back. If she protests, just keep saying that returning the ring is the right thing to do, and she knows it. Only problem is... I've been NC since March, and I reaaally don't want to break it now. Seems too late in the game. I'd rather just forget about it and her. Not even sure if she still has it at this point. And, my anger has subsided quite a bit since yesterday
LostConfused123 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Don't worry... I have a feeling I will be around for a while longer. Not sure if that's a good thing or not I feel like the ultimate b!tch for smiling when I read this Can't help it. You really help us fellow sufferers. But more importantly it helps with your pain too, so that's a good thing. 1
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