TranslucentThoughts Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 I know it wasn't a good idea... but it just happened. Now I'm really confused. Before it happened we were just talking and then we hugged... and like... it was so nice... neither of us wanted to let go and he started kissing my neck and stuff and being really cuddly and sweet. Then, later on that night... we both really wanted to. (heat of the moment type thing) But, we were still kind of talking about stuff... and he said that before things went any further he wanted me to know that it probably wouldn't work out between us. (relationship wise) and I knew he felt like that before we slept together.. It's not like I thought that sleeping with him would make him want me back. I just really, really wanted to have him in that moment and sort of didn't care. Afterwards though.. it was weird... he was being really closed off and wouldn't even sit close to me. I left the party this morning and just said "... well... bye justin" and he said bye and then I left. I don't know what I expected... nothing really. It was fun while it lasted... I guess I just didn't expect him to be so stand off-ish afterwards... But I guess it was awkward... maybe he felt bad... I don't know. I don't know what to do now... Should I just pretend that nothing happened? Or... talk to him about it. I don't want my feelings to get in the way. I mean... the sex is just soooooo good between us... and it always has been. I really missed that and so did he. Was it a one time thing? Hmmmmmmmm.
smile Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 If he was being weird I say dont mention it too much. That way if it was nothing then there is no weird expectations or anything.. but if it was he may start to think about wanting it again. Either way I think after his reaction to try and talk about it now may just make him bolt. He said he doesnt think it will work. Did he say why? He may want you and miss you but not be ready for everything else... My ex did this to me a lot (still kind of is) and I cant say I understand it. You would assume that the tenderness level of the intercourse would be an indication of his feelings.. but damn that isnt true. I wish it was. Do you want it to happen again? Because you like it or because you expect it to turn into something else? If he keeps on wanting you and sleeping with you then chances are he wont want someone else right? Thats how I felt for a long time. Just play it cool. Let it be what it was. It was a party situation and those things happen. Mayeb hang out a bit and see if it happens again.. unless you dont want to live in that land of confusion.
Author TranslucentThoughts Posted January 1, 2005 Author Posted January 1, 2005 I'm the only person he's ever been in a real relationship with him. And that really got to him I think... Because he doesn't want to be tied down to one person and he wants to experience being with other people and focusing on other things. Which I can understand I guess. If it happened again... I wouldn't be against it.. because it's really good and we both always enjoy it. I was actually thinking about what you had said... that you'd think the tenderness level of the intercourse would be an indication of his feelings... but, yeah... I guess not. I mean, he's obviously attracted to me enough to sleep with me. I know I'm not an ugly girl... but that's probably all it was. Just sexual attraction and just wanting to get some action. It's crap though.. because before I went to this party I really wanted to work on just being able to hang out together as friends and have fun, you know? And now... maybe that's totally shot to hell after this. I don't want him to feel like I want something more with him now. Because, although I still love him and care about him.. I don't want to be in a big serious relationship either... and I still want to be able to hang out with him without the seriousness.
Urban Rubble01 Posted January 2, 2005 Posted January 2, 2005 Well, I'm not sure what advice to give, I'm in a similair situation and I don't really know how to handle it myself. My ex and I are doing the "break" thing, but we've slept together a few times in the last month. We've been on limited contact, but we make time every few weeks to hang out. For me, just going out with her, hearing her say she loves me, all of that stuff is more emotional to me than the sex with her is. So the sex isn't what's keeping me "hooked", it's all that other stuff. For the most part, it's probably best not to sleep with an ex. But I know myself well enough to know that I'm going to have feelings for her until we figure things out, regardless of if we have sex or not. I'd say that if you feel like it's going to make things more difficult, don't do it. If you guys are kind of mutually broken up like you seem to be, then do what you want.
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