mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I have noticed this guy at work who is fairly attractive. We have shared a smile here and there while walking through the hallway. He works in a different department than I do but on the same floor. I found out his name but do not know how to go about approaching him at work. Since we don't work on the same team, we never really see each other. Can anyone offer any suggestions?
stillafool Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 My advice is to not get involved with anyone at or near your place of employment. Too messy when things end. BTW, are you married? 1
Author mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 @d0nnivain - just exactly how do I arrange to have lunch with him? Do I just send him an email asking him to lunch?? Do I go to his desk and make conversation? About what? I would not be able to come up with a reason to go to his desk.
Author mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 @stillafool - there are other successful couples at my work and I wouldn't get too involved unless I knew it would go somewhere. And no I'm not married. My ex cheated on me and left a few years ago. I wouldn't be looking to date other people if I was still married…just not my thing like it was my ex husband's thing.
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Do not use any company owned technology to communicate with him unless you want the IT department & your boss to read it. You have to find a made up reason to go to his desk or "stalk" him a little -- nothing too creepy, just pay attention, so maybe you can manage to leave with him. If it's a high rise, the elevator may be a good way to at least have close quarters & a few interested smiles. Can you network your way to him. . . your work friend knows somebody who knows him so perhaps you can orchestrate a group drink after work. At the very least can you start taking a new route to the bathroom so you have to walk by him?
ShyGuy5 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 if you see him again casually bump into him and see if there is a moment when u look at him
Author mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Do not use any company owned technology to communicate with him unless you want the IT department & your boss to read it. You have to find a made up reason to go to his desk or "stalk" him a little -- nothing too creepy, just pay attention, so maybe you can manage to leave with him. If it's a high rise, the elevator may be a good way to at least have close quarters & a few interested smiles. Can you network your way to him. . . your work friend knows somebody who knows him so perhaps you can orchestrate a group drink after work. At the very least can you start taking a new route to the bathroom so you have to walk by him? I wish it was that easy. I've already done some 'stalking' by finding out his name and I think his hours are much later than mine so running into him in the elevator is out of the question. I tried the networking part but I don't know too many people in his department. And the bathroom is in the middle of the floor so I would be going out of my way by walking to his area. The only times I've seen him are in the hallways in which we would smile at each other. But how can I start a conversation the next time I pass him in the hallway?
Author mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 if you see him again casually bump into him and see if there is a moment when u look at him So the next time I see him in the hallway and we smile at each other, what should I say? Nice shirt?? Seems to tacky but would that prompt you to say something more than just a smile?
Author mrsnaks Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Find his car. Hide behind it when he comes out and scare him. Then pretend to sprain your ankle. Don't act overly horny or the plan won't work. Lol. That might work if I know his work hours so I can follow him out.
ShyGuy5 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 you can say anything as a girl, not the case as a guy tho
StanMusial Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Pull the fire alarm. When you all queue up in the parking lot outside, wander into his space and say "Geez it's freezing out here! Didn't have time to grab my jacket." If he doesn't say anything say "well you are/are not prepared (either)." as appropriate. It worked for me. Just kidding! Or am I?
deathandtaxes Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 If it's been said once on here, it's been said here a million times. Don't. Just don't.
deathandtaxes Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 As someone who wishes a girl at work would approach me - this is what i want the girl to say. "Hi, I'm soandso. Would you like to go to dinner tonight?" To which I would say, "I would be happy to, what is your number." Such passivity is not endearing. What are you waiting for? Too much can go wrong with a workplace romance. Way too many women outside of your place of employment.
Desertbeauty Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Having had an affair with someone at work, i would say, dont do it. As has already been mentioned here, it is too messy if and when you break up. I know from experience. Of course, in my case we were both married and i wasn't ready to have a full sexual relationship so it ended kind of messy after about 8 months after the sex. Dont foul your own nest, dont peter the payroll, and dont s&@t where you eat are all good clichés that are true.
Author mrsnaks Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I understand that I'm taking a risk if this guy and I don't work out. But that's in all relationships. Not all relationships that start at work always end up 'bad'. There are a few successful relationships currently at my company. I'm not looking for an affair but rather a relationship. I don't plan on just having a sexual relationship either. I think introducing myself and asking out to dinner is a little fast. Perhaps the next time I see him in the hallway, I will just introduce myself, say that I've seen him around and have always wanted to say hi….then we'll see where it goes. I appreciate all the feedback. If anyone else has any other suggestions, I'm all ears. Hope you all are having a great Friday!
Author mrsnaks Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 you can say anything as a girl, not the case as a guy tho Why do you say that? I would love it if a guy approached me. Whenever I am out in public, guys never approach me. I'm attractive and always make myself very approachable. I feel like I am doing all the work when it comes to meeting guys since they never approach me. It's always the ones I'm never interested in that will be a bit more aggressive.
Author mrsnaks Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 As someone who wishes a girl at work would approach me - this is what i want the girl to say. "Hi, I'm soandso. Would you like to go to dinner tonight?" To which I would say, "I would be happy to, what is your number." You don't think that a girl you have never met but have only seen at work, asks you to dinner, is too forward?? If this guy introduced himself and asked me to dinner, I would be like "slow down", we haven't even met. :-)
ShyGuy5 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Why do you say that? I would love it if a guy approached me. Whenever I am out in public, guys never approach me. I'm attractive and always make myself very approachable. I feel like I am doing all the work when it comes to meeting guys since they never approach me. It's always the ones I'm never interested in that will be a bit more aggressive. Here is the thing. I could be completely wrong about this. But lets say a guy approaches you and he messes up, either tries a corny pickup line that he is only using because he doesn't know how else to approach you or you really catch his eye and he gets nervous and fumbles the conversation. He essentially has to be perfect or he is done for. A girl on the other hand can afford to say just about anything and still stand a chance. Note: This could be my own personal experience and the fact that I find independent/go getter type of women attractive. Also, that I won't want to make anyone uncomfortable by bringing up a topic, but I would talk about almost anything if the other person brings it up. 1
farva2 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 dating coworkers is usually a bad idea unless you wind up having a storybook romance but when the heart is set on someone, you can just throw those notions out the window. Just go up and talk to him, dudes love it when girls make the first move and it'll give him some steam to move forward if he's at all interested.
Iguanna Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 There's a series in my country where there is the girl who is interested in her teacher so she writes him a note in the book "When someone sees you, they fall in love with you. When they fall in love with you, where can they see you?". I just thought of it.
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 The only times I've seen him are in the hallways in which we would smile at each other. But how can I start a conversation the next time I pass him in the hallway? The old standby's still work as an ice breaker: Nice day isn't it? Do you think it will ever stop raining? I like your tie /shirt / shoes. . . . Comment on some local sporting event (the works better around the big games: Super Bowl, World Series etc. but can be adapted to the local team) Often it doesn't matter what you say. If the other person is interested, the fact that you broke the ice by speaking first may be enough. 1
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