winny Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 My suggestion is: Make a list of must have qualities and deal breakers... Evaluate each guy based on that... Do not lower your standards and start talking to crazy guys... Most of the guys would be freaks or low quality... So it might be depressing... But do not think this is the only way.. Think of it as one of many ways to meet guys... I have met around 5 guys thru OLD... All were very well behaved... So I didn't have any bad experience or bad dates...
Ruby Slippers Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Be selective. Most of the guys who message you are not going to be good picks. Many of them will disqualify themselves by talking about sex right away. I drastically reduced the unwanted sexual attention I was getting by removing all body pictures and posting only shoulders and up pictures. This almost completely deflected the creepy guys looking for a sexual object, and attracted more serious guys looking for a real relationship. Good luck! 1
MrCastle Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Wtf , then what am I doing wrong lol. ( no seriously, I refuse to hijack phoes thread ) Nothing. You're one guy out of hundreds mailing these girls every day. Some will be better looking and if not that, the sheer amount of messages they get may just bury your message and it's never seen. OLD is not for men. 3
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 This is incredibly nerve-wracking, I don't know how people do this!
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 This is incredibly nerve-wracking, I don't know how people do this! After a while, meeting up with new online guys is like brushing teeth. 1
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Guyyssss I'm going on a date tomorrow! *dies* 2
tlegend Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Guyyssss I'm going on a date tomorrow! *dies* Congratulations. Let us know how it goes? Good luck!!
InnocentMan Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Guyyssss I'm going on a date tomorrow! *dies* You've met someone on the internet, confirmed their identity, and approved them as suitable dating material, all in less than 24 hrs? How does that work? 'Hi, I'm a man' 'Hi, I'm a gal' 'Sweet, seeya tomorrow at 8' 2
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Congratulations. Let us know how it goes? Good luck!! Thanks, I'm a lil nervous haha 1
tlegend Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 You've met someone on the internet, confirmed their identity, and approved them as suitable dating material, all in less than 24 hrs? How does that work? 'Hi, I'm a man' 'Hi, I'm a gal' 'Sweet, seeya tomorrow at 8' Have you seen her and her replies? Who wouldn't confirm that **** asap as a guy in OLD?
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 You've met someone on the internet, confirmed their identity, and approved them as suitable dating material, all in less than 24 hrs? How does that work? 'Hi, I'm a man' 'Hi, I'm a gal' 'Sweet, seeya tomorrow at 8' Well, he's one of the first people I messaged last night, he's been chatting with me for about 24 hrs now. It's just an afternoon coffee at a local place
deathandtaxes Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Guyyssss I'm going on a date tomorrow! *dies* Kudos for the swiftness. I hate wasting time on chit chat and e-mail when so much can be discerned in person in a few minute. Good luck!
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Kudos for the swiftness. I hate wasting time on chit chat and e-mail when so much can be discerned in person in a few minute. Good luck! Yeah, the anxious part of me wants to draw it out a little bit but I know that's dumb. He wanted to meet up RIGHT NOW but I vetoed that idea lol.
InnocentMan Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Have you seen her and her replies? Who wouldn't confirm that **** asap as a guy in OLD? I understand why a bro would be all over it, but a woman has the option of being more choosey, and the liberty to take a little time to get to know someone. All seems a bit fast for my liking. I don't approve. How much can you really know about a person in one day? He could be a killa for all we know.
tlegend Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Thanks, I'm a lil nervous haha You have absolutely nothing to be nervous about. From your replies, you have a strong head on your shoulders, a matching personality, and most certainly very attractive. Just don't go expecting to find your soulmate and enjoy the evening for what it is. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the amount of fun you can have finding a potential partner =)
tlegend Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I understand why a bro would be all over it, but a woman has the option of being more choosey, and the liberty to take a little time to get to know someone. All seems a bit fast for my liking. I don't approve. How much can you really know about a person in one day? He could be a killa for all we know. Hey man, we are all a little protective of Phoe. It's ok, let it out. Now let her go enjoy herself.
Author Phoe Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 He could be a killa for all we know. It's true, he could be bonkers, but we will be meeting up in a busy coffee place and then head our separate ways. My mother and my best friend will both know where I am
InnocentMan Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 It's true, he could be bonkers, but we will be meeting up in a busy coffee place and then head our separate ways. My mother and my best friend will both know where I am Fair enough. Don't forget your pepper spray, and make sure he doesn't follow you if it doesn't go well. Maybe I'm too suspicious of people, but if someone wanted to meet me in real, just 24hrs after first talking to me, I'd be sceptical, to say the least. To be fair, I don't know how these things usually go down. Maybe this is normal for online dating. I just assumed people actually got to know each other first.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Yeah, the anxious part of me wants to draw it out a little bit but I know that's dumb. He wanted to meet up RIGHT NOW but I vetoed that idea lol. It's not dumb... that's the only way O.L.D. makes logical sense... Otherwise, you might as well just have your (appearance) down there at that coffee shop NOW... just taking applicants on the spot without even having announced an opening. There's no point to the online part given your experiment. (and it does not count as "O.L.D. success" each time somebody merely wants to bang you)
CrystalCastles Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 To be fair, I don't know how these things usually go down. Maybe this is normal for online dating. I just assumed people actually got to know each other first. That's the reason why I deleted my account after 1 week of OkCupid and said, never again! Simply too overwhelming. I was being bombarded with messages left and right, it's hard to sift through them all, and any potential men would want to meet right away (without giving me a chance to get to know them first).
antonio1149 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 That's the reason why I deleted my account after 1 week of OkCupid and said, never again! Simply too overwhelming. I was being bombarded with messages left and right, it's hard to sift through them all, and any potential men would want to meet right away (without giving me a chance to get to know them first). "Getting to know them first" is a terrible idea, especially for guys. If I connect with someone who actually wants to meet me, I know there's about a 98% chance she's hearing from dozens of new guys *every day* who are my competition. In light of that, every minute spent "getting to know" via phone or email is most probably wasted. Besides, how would you feel spending hours "getting to know" someone only to meet them and find out their photo was 10 years and 50 pounds ago? More wasted time. My strategy: make the initial contact, ascertain visual chemistry as best you can via photos, then meet ASAP.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 My strategy: make the initial contact, ascertain visual chemistry as best you can via photos, then meet ASAP. The subject here is Online Dating. This strategy has nothing to do with online dating.
MidwestUSA Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Good luck, Phoe! (You know, you have your share of admirers here to choose from. Or have you not noticed? )
deathandtaxes Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 The subject here is Online Dating. This strategy has nothing to do with online dating. Sure it does. Online is just a means to an end. I think there are two schools of thought. There are those that prefer to go on and on and on with e-mail, text, etc before meeting up. And then there are those that prefer to not spend so much time with all that stuff. Good for you Phoe setting up a date within a day!!
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