If it flies, floats or ****s, you're better off renting it.

[Imported]

I read that somewhere else and googled it and came across a pretty interesting read about men looking for a wife written (I guess) by Souljaslim1

 

Whom not to marry.

# Be Selfish Now

 

It's amazing how many people think that a guy looking for a good woman should do what's "fair" or what's socially responsible. **** that. It's each guy's responsibility to find a woman that's the best possible choice for HIM. Who will make HIM happy. This one time, when he's choosing his future wife, he needs to focus exclusively on his own needs and making sure they are satisfied.

 

Trust us, nobody else in the world, least of all your wife, is worrying about your needs or wants. So you should worry about your own.

 

And this is the last chance you'll get. Once you're actually married, you'll find that everything about marriage, legal, financial, and emotional, will be about HER and the kids. Your needs will be dead last, or even more likely, not even recognized. You will be just a provider, a mechanic, or whatever type of worker bee the woman and children happen to require at the moment.

 

So, take this one chance, young man, to make sure that the woman you are looking for satisfies YOUR needs and wants.

 

So forget about what's politically correct or socially responsible. Be selfish. That's the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your future wife.

 

# Look for Wifely Qualities, Not Just Girlfriend Qualities. Women have been encouraged to chase relentlessly after personal fulfillment...being well-educated, physically fit, interesting, and financially secure. All these things are really great, and make for a wife who is nice to be around. BUT there are a whole other set of qualities that modern women have ignored...and even, avoided. These are the skills and habits that make them a good wife.

 

Of course, many people pooh-pooh this idea...many people think that marriage just "happens" when two people love each other. Au contrair. A happy marriage takes skill. There are a whole set of attitudes and habits that each partner needs to bring.

 

The "wifely" skills are those that the woman needs to have, or learn darned quick, if she's going to make you happy. In fact, the woman's "wifely" skills are probably the most important single factor in the success of the marriage. The woman, with her better emotional strength, and her vastly superior ability to track and manage the health of the relationship, is the key to long term success.

 

Of course, in the past 50 years, women have disavowed those wifely skills, as well as their natural responsibility for the relationship. No wonder that so many marriages are miserable, and the rate of divorce is sky-high!

 

So here's a practical tip for all you intrepid wife-hunters. Remember that the qualities that make a woman a good wife may be quite different from those that make her a good girlfriend. As the saying goes "American women are great for easy casual sex, but make terrible wives".

 

Don't assume that a woman, just because she's a hot girlfriend, will make a good wife for you. When you're really (really!) serious about finding a wife and mate, prove your seriousness by changing your aim. Look for a woman who may *not* make a great girlfriend, but *will* make a fantastic wife!

 

# What are good wifey skills?

Cooking, cleaning, mothering, nurturing, wants kids, loves kids, loyal, trustworthy.

 

What is important is that the wife does not have a real negative attitude towards doing those things. Any trace of snobbery at doing traditional female tasks is a bad sign of a princess.

 

Marrige is a case where both partners need to give up something to get somthing different and greater in return. If anyone is selfish about the realtionship then it won't work.

 

And a marrige except for a few cases needs someone to be a provider, and someone to be a domestic.

 

# No woman with strong feminist leanings will EVER be happy with the breakdown of tasks in the household. They will ALWAYS be preoccupied with fairness and feel they are being taken advantage of. They never realize that a marriage is letting your guard down and mutually trusting the other person!

 

# Also, not with one who has a drunk daddy. Always check out the mom today to see your honey tomorrow. Is mom fat?

 

# Never Marry a Woman Who has the Same Career Ambitions in a Similar Industry as You Do.

 

If you're not that agressive about your career, it's ok to marry a woman who is.

 

If you are agressive about your career, then it's not OK to marry a woman who is also agressive about her career...

 

unless it's a career in an industry that is very different from yours.

 

Basically, marriage doesn't work all that well when you have two driven, ambitious people. Clashing egos for 40 years...uh-uh. Ain't gonna work.

 

# I would rephrase "success in career" as just some sort of success in an organization, with the definition of success left broad. so as opposed to just being a party girl who's irresponsible and can't hold a job for more than six months (and usually just sees work as a means to party), you'd want a chick who has managed to be successful in a job or as a volunteer in an organization or as an artist or whatever. Just SOMETHING that requires some level of fiscal responsibility, organizational skills, professional interpersonal skills along with taking the "good and the bad" for some higher goal. Not someone who walks away as soon as some level of disomfort approaches, or is afrait to persue ANY goal.

 

# Never marry a woman whose father took off or was abusive to her mother UNLESS she got the right lesson from it ... the right lesson being that responsible men are to be adored and valued and their eccentricities and (mild, occasional) irresponsibilities tolerated. You need to have clear evidence that she took the right lesson -- if not, you're going to have a nightmare marriage dominated by her suspicion, paranoia, and total inability to please.

 

# Never marry a woman who, while you are dating, is even SLIGHTLY open to other men's flirtation, who even occasionally tells you she's going out clubbing with the girls, who has any significant relationship with an ex (unless you know the ex, are included whenever your girl sees the ex socially, and can personally validate that it is purely "just friends" and trust that with your gut.) Marriagable women are totally loyal and have NO interest whatsoever in any other man or any interest whatsoever in having any other man pay them attention.

 

# Never marry a woman who complains about your appearance, or even cares to much about it, beyond a "you aren't going to go to my mother's house in that wrinkly shirt." Let's face it: you're going to working hard to support her and the kids, and if you pack on some lbs or go gray, you don't want to worry about her deciding that it merits her having an affair.

 

# Never marry a woman who is sexually demanding in terms of your performance, who withholds sex on a regular basis on the grounds of headache or disinclination, or thinks she has a "right" to anything in particular sexually -- who, for example, will refuse you sex or make you keep doing things in bed on the grounds that you didn't get her off the last time. You are going to get older and fatter and her libido is going to go off a cliff as she gets older and has kids. If she is even slightly hard to deal with sexually now (in terms of giving it up, or in terms of demanding things from you now) she is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to deal with five years after marriage. You WILL have a marriage which is nearly sexless.

 

# Never marry a woman who's habitually late. If she can't get there on time when she's single, she'll never be there on time to pick up your kids from daycare or baseball practice. It will never get better.

 

Can be generalized to "all bad habits will persist and worsen."

 

# Here is one of the most important tips: ignore what women say, and watch what they do. Your post reminded me of a female co-worker of mine who used to say she'd never date anyone from work. I liked her, so I waited till I quit to ask her out...whereupon, of course, I discovered she'd been ****ing the guy in the cube next to her for months.

 

# Anyone in therapy. She is getting 50 minutes a week of 'how to hate men' brainwashing. And it's expensive as **** and you'll be expected to pay for it.

[Philosoraptor]

Lots of generalizations there. But I agree, when picking a lifetime partner you should be as selfish and have as high of standards as possible. Settling will just lead to a life of unhappiness and resentment.

[Imported]

I see all these threads about being unmarried for life and recently I started thinking that, well you know.....maybe that is how I will be. Maybe I am doomed to that. I thought it before, but I didn't really believe it. But it's about that time or actually well past that time and here I am.

 

I have friends that married, divorce and married again and I am just still dating around. I mean, I got a lot of stuff, gotten to meet a lot of attractive women (I would not marry them) and it's all pretty cool, but pfft.............¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

I think a lot of the women I have dated are looking to get married, they're looking for a "partner", they're just not looking to be a wife. I am a fairly traditional guy. When I take a girl out on a date, I am very much a gentleman. I go out of my way to ensure she is taken cared of. I don't concern myself about fairness, I just want her to be happy and I do what I can. Trust me, that usually works out very well for me. Women respond to this like crazy. The beginnings are always bliss. And it's not an act. I am not just trying to get laid.

 

 

Life is like a competition. One way or another, you're in competition with the guys around you to some degree. This has been proven to me over and over. Don't compete, don't advance. Sure, you can smile while you compete and claim you're not competeing, but you are. Happy where you are? You're still going to have to fight to stay there because there is always another guy coming up.

 

Sometimes I just want to live on an island. Population, 1.

Live on coconuts and fish. Get a pet rock.

 

After the bliss phase, it's all downhill. Many women, I get the feeling we're in competition and I don't want any part of that.

 

We go out, drink a bit and she starts flirting with other dudes or not telling them to get lost if they have the nerve to come up and..... we're done. I am not even going to entertain the possibility. I have had enough already, thanks.

 

Doesn't know how to cook anything but the simplest meal and thinks it's beneath her. Dirty, unkempt home. Thinks things just magically happens. This will not get better with time. Try to suggest anything like this to them and you're trying to change them! Make them who they are not! And they are right. They are not a wife.

 

I have a job, they have a job. I don't think a child should be raised by a nursary or even relatives while both parents work especially if one/either parent makes enough to afford a good living for the family. I'd be willing to take the role of "stay at home dad". Take care of the children, cook, clean, whatever, but no women respects that and yet very few women will accept that for themselves.

 

All this **** really depresses me. I probably should have done what most guys do and gotten married, fathered a child without really knowing what I would be getting in to before getting in to it. I guess my mind is just full of confusion and **** all.

[salparadise]

Well, your perception is your reality. It sounds like you're saying you want a traditional marriage and family, but have been faced with too many imperfect or mutually exclusive choices (can't imagine committing the rest of your life to the women you've dated). The good news is that perception can be directed. Try and get in touch with what you really want. Maybe the theory in the first post is on target for you... that you need to be dating a different type of woman and maybe reconsider what qualities you find attractive. If what you find attractive is not consistent with what you find lovable, well, that could be the hitch.

[gabgab]

Stop reading pickup artists tactics and being insanely picky about women's looks and maybe you'll find better luck.

[Sanman]

I agree with some of what is there and disagree with other elements. My fiancée definitely fits a good number of characteristics mentioned in the OP as things you should have for a wife. I would as communication to that list. If she is not at least asking your opinion as her bf, she likely won't when you are more serious and decisions need to be made. My answer is lower your bar for looks. She doesn't have to be ugly, but she does not need to be the hottest woman either. I was quite happy with cute. Concentrate on other aspects. I think you can have a good family life with two ambitious people, but you have to find people that want that. Both my fiancée and I are ambitious, but we picked careers with better hours and more flexibility because having a family is important to us. IME, doctors, lawyers and investment bankers were often too career driven to build a relationship or family. Teachers, nurses, psychologists, social workers, physical therapists, speech pathologists, pharmacists, etc had a much better balance. Your experiences may vary. I also turned traditional philosophy on its head and picked a woman who picked me first. Time to think about what you want to prioritize.