ILoveVegas Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 If you guys haven't seen my first thread here is it.. First Thread So this time she message me again saying "Hi! (Myname) Advance Happy Thanksgiving" the last time she message me about my grandfather I did replied with "I'm good and he is fine. Thanks" but she didn't respond. so now here she is again. Is it better to just ignore her for life till she tells me she want to work things out? This girl treated me the best till she start being distant and cold last month of our relationship kinda like pushing me more and more away. I made a short response for her but not sure if I will send it or not. Feedbacks will be appreciated. "I just saw your message. Thanks for the holiday greeting. I have just have one favor, If you can stop contacting me. I respected your decision when you said you wanted to be by your own. You didn't hear anything from me. I am not a perfect guy but I treated you the best that I can when we are together and it seems you didn't appreciate it and wanted better things. I did loved you and you know it but it doesn't work out like this. I did ask you before we broke up to work things out but instead you chose this path. I don't know what your intentions are but I would appreciate if you just stop all this for the better of all of us. Happy holidays to you too."
Confusedguy81 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 just ignore her. Treat it like a happy thanksgiving from a store cashier or something. In other words, pretend you don't know who she is.
beyondcrushed Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 (edited) Don't bother at all. I know you want to so badly. But the best response is no response. And keep ignoring her. She'll get the hint. I went through this a couple weeks ago. He went cold and distant on me too the last month and I called him on it. He said he just wanted to be friends. It was hard to be friends so I told him I couldn't. He got upset when I started to ignore/avoid him after that (we work together). He didn't understand that I was doing it to get over him. So I kept bugging him (texted him a few times to come over, telling him i want to be friends now, that I would pick him over anyone, asking why he's ignoring me, etc) and now he is so afraid of talking to me. HE now ignores ME. LOL. But my pride is shot from texting him those things. My advice is take the high road, hold your head up high and....just...ignore...her. Edited November 27, 2013 by beyondcrushed
Author ILoveVegas Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Take it easy on me guys. Ex GF called me earlier on my phone I thought it's one of my clients but to my shock it's my EX GF.. She uses a different number so she knows that I would answer.. If i know that it's her I wouldn't have answer it. I've been in no contact for almost 2 months now and Ignoring all her text. I'll make it short as possible guys so you won't be bored.. So here how's the conversation goes. Her: Hey how are you? Me: Doing ok what do you want? Her: Oh sorry to bother you I just thought that we could at least be friends. I misunderstood I won't call you again. Me: Sorry we can't be friends right now I need time and space to heal and I hope you could understand that. Maybe in the future but not now. Her: I expected it. I understand! I hope when you are ready we could at least talk. I will always be here waiting for your call or text when you are ready to talk. Me: It's not that I'm not ready to talk to you. It's just that I can't be your friend. I want you something else in my life not just a friend. ( GUYS I F*CK UP HERE SO BAD!) Her: I understand! Me: I thought so! So if you can't commit to us then it's the best for us to move on! Her: let me understand that moving on to you is not talking to each other? Me: As I said we both need time and space to move on and why do you want to talk to me if you don't want anything to do with me? Her: Arghh! Nevermind I'm just calling to ask how you were that's all!! and all of this happen! I didn't want this to happen Me: Let me ask you something. Do you really just want to be friends? ( I F*CK UP MORE SO BAD) Her: We are talking about this again?? I thought we already talk about this when we broke up.. Why do you need to bring up all this?? Me: I am not asking to get back together! I am asking if the intention of your call is just to be friends. (BECOME MORE F*CK UP) Her: I already told you this earlier so many times! Me: Then ok. (IT'S LIKE I STUIPIDLY AGREED TO BECAME A DOORMAT FRIENDZONE) Her: She started talking about stuff, catching up etc etc.. Me: Hey I need to go to bed! Have work tom! I'll text you tom! goodnight! (I F*CK UP MORE NOT GONNA TEXT HER THOUGH) Her: Goodnight sleep tight! Bye! So guys I feel terrible and all my progress for 2 months of No Contact is now useless! I hate myself on how I handled the situation it's like She got mind control on me. What's wrong with this woman calling me with a different number so I would answer? She obviously got what she wanted.. EGO BOOST! 1000% BOOST! F*ck guys! I need some love.. Dunno what to do at this point 1
JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 wow. what if you just end the call when she said Hello? that would be epic rude hahaha 2
Author ILoveVegas Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 How do I start ignoring again when it looks like I already agreed to be friends with her? Do I just do it without saying anything? Everyone backslides..don't beat yourself up. Just ignore her next time she calls, that's all. Back to day one of NC!
AustralianGuy Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 That's a tough one mate as I did something very similar recently, and she was the one who got angry at me just like your ex GF did. It's always hard, you did what you thought you needed to do and it didn't play out how you wanted it too, and now you are hurt all over again. If it helps, here is what I wanted to send to my ex after her last text, but I havent yet, I have maintained no contact. "Hey, continuing to hear from you and maybe see you on a just friends basis when ive expressed how I feel about you would continue to hurt me, and just make things awkward between us. I think it's better if we simply cut all ties between us for now. I would never for one second take back any moment that we spent together, and I don't regret for one minute that i told you that I love you, because I do love you. You know how to contact me if you decide to give us another chance sometime in the future, but for now, this is goodbye, and I wish you nothing but the best in your life journey". 1
Yasuo Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Pffff. Cut contact. Don't answer anything. She's just feeling guilty, or wants a friend... I hate that. 1
Author ILoveVegas Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 She did. here's the original story if that would help Link OP, who broke up with who?
chris21422 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Don't be too hard on yourself man. Things happen best bet is to ignore her again. She will go crazy as she thinks you agreed to be friends again then you started ignoring her again. Man you don't deserve someone who doesn't wants to keep commit to you.. This time when she calls again or text you just end the call right away.. 1
MrBossMan Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Should have told her that the girl you're going out with now is waiting for you to get off the phone.
headinthecloud Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 (edited) Hey Vegas, don't beat yourself up over this. While you feel awful for being vulnerable to someone who broke your trust, I think it's her that comes off as looking weak. Think of it this way, she calls to asks to be friends - you say no, it's not possible - she gets upset because her ego is hurt so she tries to make herself look strong by bringing up the breakup (lame!!!). Typical of a dumper who's feeling guilty and having trouble getting over the pain, she's looking to you to relieve it. I think you expressed yourself clearly and honestly - you did nothing wrong. Try to let it go. It's not your fault. SHE CALLED YOU!! What was she expecting? I'm sorry she won't leave alone, it makes it so much harder. You're broken up. You have nothing to be ashamed of. She's looking to you to ease her guilt. She's not respecting your wishes which shows how selfish she is being. If you can, try to leave it in the past on continue as if it didn't happen. Hard to do but this one was out of your control. You're doing great. You'll need another 4 or 5mos before things start to smooth out so be patient with yourself. Edited December 6, 2013 by headinthecloud
William Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Hello, There's no need to start new threads on a similar subject when one can easily update an existing thread. In fact, we have a guideline prohibiting posting of similar/duplicate topics. The thread starter can update at any time, even months after the thread was last posted to. Hence, moderation merged two threads here. Thanks!
Babolat Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Ex gf did this with me for a while, I was the dumper. She never wanted to get back together though, and never suggested it, until recnelty, 8+ months post break up. You did not f-up. We all have our weak moments. You just need to decide what you want, friends or no contact. And, she needs to respect that.
JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Did you do no contact for all that 8 months? Or low contact? Ex gf did this with me for a while, I was the dumper. She never wanted to get back together though, and never suggested it, until recnelty, 8+ months post break up. You did not f-up. We all have our weak moments. You just need to decide what you want, friends or no contact. And, she needs to respect that.
Babolat Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Did you do no contact for all that 8 months? Or low contact? Low She would contact me, we would get together, talk about us, sex, then a couple of weeks would go by, she would contact me, talk about us, sex. All the while she would tell me she needs more time to work on herself, to make sure any changes she was making, were for her. This stopped at the end of August when we both agreed No Contact was best while she worked on herself. She reached out to me 2+ weeks ago, to state she has made a lot of changes, and wants to try again, and is Committed to an us. .
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