Author WP4046 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Well not necessarily, no, but if a guy can't talk about his line of work without specifics (if they feel a need to protect their privacy, which is fair) I'd think something shady was afoot. What's wrong with talking about how much you love your job doing *this* for a *financial company* or whatever? Again you are missing the point. If we just start talking on the phone for the 1st time, there are so many other things to talk about instead of what someone does for living in the first 10 mins what area are you from and raised in Holiday season-relevant Interests Food TV shows Online dating history Music Movies Hobbies Social Media Spare time what type of person you are Job First date preference.....day of the week
Kansas87 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but the bolded sentences are contradictory. Can you clarify? I don't think they're contradictory. Yes, having a job just to pay the bills while you look for something better is way better than doing nothing. Which is why, say if you are working at McDonald's flipping burgers I would ask "Oh, do you like that?" To gauge whether A. You just started and are working your way up the ladder B. You are working here while you pursue employment in your dream field C. You don't care as long as it's a job D. You don't like it at all but the world is out to get you and nobody else will hire you because of REASONS. E. Yes, actually, you are passionate about it and love giving great customer service and making food, you love your work colleagues and your environment, etc. (I think this is extremely unlikely, but it could happen) Obviously D is what I'm trying to screen out. C maybe but would depend on other circumstances. I guess I should clarify- my job is very important to me. I'm a teacher; I work about 60-70 hours a week on average; I am in school working on my Master's degree. I talk about my work ALL THE TIME because it is a HUGE part of my life. So to me it is really strange for people to not want to talk about their job- it is at least 1/3 of most of your days if you're working full-time. It's not that I'm trying to find an "ambitious" guy to buy stuff for me and be my rich boyfriend. It's that I'm highly motivated to be good at my job, to do well, and to be successful. As a teacher, those things have NOTHING to do with how much money I'll ever make. So I guess the OP would think I'm a gold digger and nosy, but that's just one of the multitude of ways you weed out incompatibility when you're dating. If asking that question turns you off, she's probably not the girl for you. Move along
Kansas87 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Again you are missing the point. If we just start talking on the phone for the 1st time, there are so many other things to talk about instead of what someone does for living in the first 10 mins The first ten minutes is a little soon. Usually at that point I'm just trying to think of ANYTHING to say, if it's awkward, or answering whatever questions he asked. Seriously though, she was probably just trying to make conversation.
Author WP4046 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 The first ten minutes is a little soon. Usually at that point I'm just trying to think of ANYTHING to say, if it's awkward, or answering whatever questions he asked. Seriously though, she was probably just trying to make conversation. dating in your 30's suck because everything asked is based on marriage and whether someone wants kids. So I need to make a decision and just put it out there that i am not interested in having kids and maybe the screening process will be a lot better 1
winny Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 (edited) Someone who likes their job is mostly a happy, content and stable person. That's the reason I ask this question to guys. Edited December 6, 2013 by winny Spelling 1
Author WP4046 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Someone who likes their job is mostly a happy, content and stable person. That's the reason I ask this question to guys. Yeah that sounds like reality to me, a guy who is always happy, content, and stable.
JourneyLady Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 That *sounds* magnanimous, but she described herself as driven and ambitious and wanting someone similar. Let's face it, no matter how much a guy might be passionate about picking up litter, no woman would consider that an ambitious undertaking. And any woman with a "professional" job, even if it was a boring job like accountant, would avoid such a guy like the plague. A woman who describes herself as driven/ambitious almost always wants to marry a guy who's above her on the pay/status scale. Or at least her equal, if she's a doctor, lawyer, or CEO. As for me, I'm "driven", but to be creative with my life, not to make money... And I did date a guy who was teaching, but wanted to return to being a mine geologist. In addition, he was "driven" to create things with the rocks and stones he gathered... absolutely beautiful globes made out of wonderful rock samples, among other things. I learned so much about geology that year... Unfortunately he moved and there were some differences we couldn't work out.
JourneyLady Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 (edited) It's a judgmental way to start a conversation. Doesn't that depend on who's asking? I admit to having asked that question and by what I've written here, you should know I'm not judgemental about work. Heck I almost got involved with a guy who works at Walmart and didn't have a problem with it even though he DOES hate his job. But he had other red flags that killed it later. I ask that question basically because when I've been at meetup groups, that's usually the first thing everyone asks ME! Even the other women who obviously do not want to date me, and the guys too. I suppose it's a way of finding out what kind of environment you spend your time in. It's always been awkward for me too, because I'm a poet and a writer and although I am self-published, I don't have a "job" per se. Well... I guess I did work part time from home a little recently, but normally I don't. But I don't feel judged by the people who ask - not usually. When you know little about someone (and lets face it, if you look at male OLD profiles, they have SO MUCH LESS on them than the women usually), it's just to break the ice. Guys do ask me about my dog, but they couldn't do that really, if I didn't have something on there to bring it up from. So... the answer is (at least for OLD) put some icebreaker statements on your profile. Put your hobbies. If you sit around all the time and watch network tv, most women aren't going to go for that. I just read a wonderful profile from a gentleman near my age. He gardens, hikes, creates items with wood, and enjoys cooking. That gave me a lot to ask about -- although I"m still an introvert and have a hard time asking... I probably will soon. Oh and in my age group, I have to ask pretty early on... because it's important to know if he's retired or not. That way I'll know how often he may be available to go out and date, etc. So many over 60 are retired already - also a bunch are slightly to mostly disabled. When you get to be my age, you just want to know about stability, not wealth. Edited December 7, 2013 by JourneyLady more... 1
TB Rhine Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I think it's a sneaky way of finding out how much money I make. Yep. It's right up there with women who list their "favorite hobbies" as shopping and traveling. Guess who's footing the bill?
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