loveiswar101 Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Hi All Was on here a few months back trying to get my girlfriend back and succeeded. Now been together 15 months. Two months on new issues arise. When we go back together things were great nice and felt both us were glad we didn't split. That was the first month, now the last month she has drifted back into her shell. She's not well and struggles with her hip at moment, we use to make love all the time and 50 50 who would want to. Now she doesn't, blames here hip, tired etc. Spending less night together as weeks go on and basically I think she doesn't want to be in the relationship. So other day got in row with my ex wife (5 years split) first time in 2 yrs and regarding the usual. Money. Then stress with my girl and broke down talking to girlfriend. Not a nice male thing to do but Im an emotional guy. Anyhow next night girlfriends comes up to mine and ask what was up and why I got upset etc told her stress etc. All good so I thought. Next evening in bed she shows me a text on her phone about something and noticed another text to her best friend and only saw the start but it was about me. So I did something ive never done ever and snooped on her phone. Next morning while in shower I checked her phone and saw she had wrote that she came and saw me and that I told her I was stressed and venting. and then at the end she wrote that she wait till after xmas before she makes a decision. So from that I presume she means us. How can she say she loves me yet is thinking ahead that maybe she will end relationship. What do I do ? Call it off now, which I think is the best, as now I know she may want out. Tell her I found out / phone etc and ask what she wants to do? , as I'm not going to sit around thinking everyday with that in my head. Lost...I really love this girl...
Milad Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Hi All Was on here a few months back trying to get my girlfriend back and succeeded. Now been together 15 months. Two months on new issues arise. When we go back together things were great nice and felt both us were glad we didn't split. That was the first month, now the last month she has drifted back into her shell. She's not well and struggles with her hip at moment, we use to make love all the time and 50 50 who would want to. Now she doesn't, blames here hip, tired etc. Spending less night together as weeks go on and basically I think she doesn't want to be in the relationship. So other day got in row with my ex wife (5 years split) first time in 2 yrs and regarding the usual. Money. Then stress with my girl and broke down talking to girlfriend. Not a nice male thing to do but Im an emotional guy. Anyhow next night girlfriends comes up to mine and ask what was up and why I got upset etc told her stress etc. All good so I thought. Next evening in bed she shows me a text on her phone about something and noticed another text to her best friend and only saw the start but it was about me. So I did something ive never done ever and snooped on her phone. Next morning while in shower I checked her phone and saw she had wrote that she came and saw me and that I told her I was stressed and venting. and then at the end she wrote that she wait till after xmas before she makes a decision. So from that I presume she means us. How can she say she loves me yet is thinking ahead that maybe she will end relationship. What do I do ? Call it off now, which I think is the best, as now I know she may want out. Tell her I found out / phone etc and ask what she wants to do? , as I'm not going to sit around thinking everyday with that in my head. Lost...I really love this girl... Do not tell her about the message you read on her phone. If you really love her, plan a surprise trip(even if it's only for 2 days at a weekend). She'll love it. In a proper moment, talk about your relationship and what you both can do to enjoy the time you spend 2gether. Do not disagree with anything she says. listen to them all and do as many of them as you can/willing to do. Wish you the best
Simplysimon Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 No dude no no no. You gotta man up...start being more aloof and not caring immediately else your dumped.. Make her miss you, see her less, ignore text..take control. Go out with your friends, be the man you was when you first met her...be alpha...
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Thanks for the 2 replies guys. All came to a head last night eventually she phoned and went straight into dumping me. Not the right time in her life, needs space etc etc. Amazing I was surprised I didn't get upset. I told her the whole truth about her, how I felt, snooping on phone. Had to, got to be honest. Other things came up. She got angry at one point, but I think she thought I would argue/resist but I told her there was no point. Her decision was made and I wanted to be with someone who loved me. She then goes your a great guy and told me she loved me, what's with that? I told her she didn't or wasn't 100% in love with me. Ended with me apologizing again about phone snooping as I really felt bad. Told her look after herself (as she is not well). I would miss her and do love 100% and if she wan't to get hold of me down the track she could, but none of the the silly text messages. If she did want to text me or call it would be to catch up and give it another go... Well back to where I was, shame as I really do love this woman, amazingly I'm not as upset as I thought I would be or like last time we broke up. I think deep down she was quite selfish at times, especially near the end and thinking of this really does ease the pain. Guess well see in a few days, weeks, etc. Now I guess it down to looking after number 1. 1
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Well that was last night. Ironically I haven't broke down today which is surprising. But boy the head is spinning. I'm trying to stay tough thinking if she doesn't want to be with me that's her choice, yes I made mistakes but hey people do, if we didn't wouldn't it be a perfect world. Already I'm thinking ahead, we planned xmas morning with my kids as and then go to her family's. Hoping she'll text, ring. But I know deep down that's never going to happen. God I hate my life, how do I always end messing things up. I did heaps for her, helped her with boys, gave compliments everyday, looked after her when not well. Lots more. Surely that's gotta count for something. It's going to be a tough week ahead...
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Well today is the morning of day 2. My emotions got the best of me today and had a good old cry in bed wondering what do I do, life, work, etc. Mind playing tricks on me as always, thinking if she will ever call, if she's thinking of me. I really gotta work today but wonder if it's all worth it. What happens if she never calls, could keep her stuff and key and for sure she would call then. I just don't know. Oh well might go for a walk but no energy. One piece of toast and banana yesterday and not even hungry this morning. God I love this woman, why say she loves me and then same conversation say its over...
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Still siting here. Well had the idea a minute ago, will try 100% to last to new year with NC. A month from BU im going to ask her out for dinner. Thoughts on this are if she says no i have closure, if she says yes maybe a chance. only 28 days to go.
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Awww man, I'm so sorry to hear about that! It sounds like from the way you've posted that you are doing okay. The NC is going to hurt like a m'fo, but hang in there. You sound very mature and have dealt with it very appropriately. I'm sorry that it happened right before the holidays too... Now is the time to surround yourself with friends and family. Try to be happy for yourself, because you have just opened the doors to something better in your life
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Thanks bud, We had a few issues in past but got through them. I honestly think for the most part she loves me but in as sad way didn't have the time for me. Single mum with bad hip (therapy 3 times a week), running after 2 boys, work and then there was me. Something had to give and I was the easy option I guess. Believe she wanted her space and time to herself and instead of being numb to me last 3 weeks and pushing me away till I broke, why not just say I need space. We could of gone from there. DAMN i'm only one day 2...
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 (edited) End of day 2 and done nothing all day, have been very emotional. Went for walk. Got back from walk and phoned my sister who I have not spoke to in over 3 years. She lives on other side of world but after today I felt the need to reach out. Have little friends here in Aus where I live and basically put all my eggs in the basket with my girl. Spoke to sister for an hour, it was nice and she was happy I reached out. Bit older more wiser. I told her what had happened and she consolidated me. But I told her I was still confused on what to do. Told her I may come over and see her in Mid Jan once my kids have left over xmas. She said after I told her the story that I wasn't needy but just upset that I have lost someone I loved and time will see. Never know the future. Maybe in few days ring her, explain. I said I couldn't. She says like everyone if she loves you and misses you she may contact you. It was nice to talk. But again Im lost, upset and missing the one I love. Edited December 8, 2013 by loveiswar101 . 1
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Start of Day 3. Everyone I speak to at the moment says never know what can happen in the future. Hope, no just a dream. I guess I got comfortable with her and thought nothing of the future. Nothing that she desired ie a real man, with goals and not the guy i look at in the mirror each morning. I really am lost, thoughts fly through my head every minute of when, if, how I should contact her. Maybe she contact me. Maybe I should just run away from it all go home back to UK after 15 years away. Guess that will achieve nothing. Also people say work on yourself, yep fine,say I do, 3-6-12 months down track I'm in better shape, better job. But know I will be thinking of her. How will she know these things if I don't reach out !
letsplaygofish2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 You are so brave! When I was lonely and sad, I reached out to my mom and dad who live half way across the world from me. I have been estranged with my mother for many many years. The wounded self sometimes yearns for a strong emotional love that can only be found through family. For me, my family lives in a different country and I am here all by myself... so I understand how you feel. Hang in there!
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Well end of day 3. Got a little bit of work done, not much, early evening tired & lonely. Did just write a letter to pass the time. Maybe one day Ill send it. Sorted my visa in passport to travel after xmas if need to... Going to bed...
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