lovecomesandgoes Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I've truly loved 3 guys before, 2 were my boyfriends. First guy: My high school sweetheart, dated for almost 4 years until I realized I literally had ZERO feeling left for him, he begged and begged, but I couldn't help it. The sad part was that after we broke up, I felt extremely depressed due to the fact that I hurt someone I once loved dearly, but as time went on, I did not even care to hear about his life any more (new job, new gf, who cares?) Sad in a sense, but I can't blame myself for things I can't help. Second guy: He was never my bf, loved me and liked me so much for more than a year. We spent every day together b/c we went to Uni together, took me to all kinds of places and did all kinds of things to impress me. In the end, I ended up dating someone else and he was heartbroken. At first I was relieved we finally cut all ties b/c I realized I couldn't give him what he wanted, but two months after I returned to school, I heard the news that he got into a prestigious accounting firm that people in my school die for. For some reason I broke down completely and I cried like a baby outside the library to the point I couldn't see any more, I was so proud of him b/c he always wanted that, and I wanted to tell him how happy I was but I just couldn't bring myself to it. When his birthday came 9 months later, I texted him a short message and he responded with "my heart sank when I read this" I cried again. I definitely wish him the best from afar and I care about him til this day. Third guy: Most recent ex bf, dated for almost a year, we were inseparable. Met in school as well, and from friends, we became lovers. We went through graduation together, and me finding a new job (something I longed for). We went through him being diagnosed with vitiligo, the news was so hard on me I lost sleep often and would cry feeling bad for him. All of these milestones made us so close in a short amount of time, he was so wonderful to me and so attentive, but things started to change and he was getting frustrated with not able to find a job, we fought more and more, until we completely stopped talking. I have no bad feelings towards him at all, he has done so much for me that I miss him every day. I definitely love him from afar, but I can't help him with his issues if he can't help himself. Sad to lose someone you love, it feels like the person died.
AnyaNova Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I've truly loved 3 guys before, 2 were my boyfriends. First guy: My high school sweetheart, dated for almost 4 years until I realized I literally had ZERO feeling left for him, he begged and begged, but I couldn't help it. The sad part was that after we broke up, I felt extremely depressed due to the fact that I hurt someone I once loved dearly, but as time went on, I did not even care to hear about his life any more (new job, new gf, who cares?) Sad in a sense, but I can't blame myself for things I can't help. Second guy: He was never my bf, loved me and liked me so much for more than a year. We spent every day together b/c we went to Uni together, took me to all kinds of places and did all kinds of things to impress me. In the end, I ended up dating someone else and he was heartbroken. At first I was relieved we finally cut all ties b/c I realized I couldn't give him what he wanted, but two months after I returned to school, I heard the news that he got into a prestigious accounting firm that people in my school die for. For some reason I broke down completely and I cried like a baby outside the library to the point I couldn't see any more, I was so proud of him b/c he always wanted that, and I wanted to tell him how happy I was but I just couldn't bring myself to it. When his birthday came 9 months later, I texted him a short message and he responded with "my heart sank when I read this" I cried again. I definitely wish him the best from afar and I care about him til this day. Third guy: Most recent ex bf, dated for almost a year, we were inseparable. Met in school as well, and from friends, we became lovers. We went through graduation together, and me finding a new job (something I longed for). We went through him being diagnosed with vitiligo, the news was so hard on me I lost sleep often and would cry feeling bad for him. All of these milestones made us so close in a short amount of time, he was so wonderful to me and so attentive, but things started to change and he was getting frustrated with not able to find a job, we fought more and more, until we completely stopped talking. I have no bad feelings towards him at all, he has done so much for me that I miss him every day. I definitely love him from afar, but I can't help him with his issues if he can't help himself. Sad to lose someone you love, it feels like the person died. But eventually, you need to come to a place where you decide to give up your love for them. To place it on the altar and sacrifice it to your future health and happiness. Ultimately, the relationship ended. Ultimately, my ex, no matter how he felt about me, sent me from his life. I cannot dwell on the internal and probably external conflicts with his family that caused him to do it despite how he felt. I cannot dwell on any of the details of that last night. I had to give all that up. I had to stop grieving for his tortured soul and spend a little more time on my own. And I'm glad I did. You will get there too. I remember weeks ago I declared that I would always love him a little bit. And though I don't doubt it is true, that years in the future I will be able to look back on him fondly and know that I do a little bit. I can't look at that right now. I can't focus on it. I have to focus on me and my life and my happiness (and stop falling for men who turn out to be married, but that, kids, is a story for a different day!)
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