Crazy Crab Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 i gave her an ultimatum, saying "you're with me, or nothing at all, no friendship and you're cut off forever." i was just bluffing but she took it pretty bad and went into a deep depression. she was also pretty upset because i'm still friends with an ex, and now she can't be in my life like my past gf's. i felt sorry for her and took back what i said. she said it's too late, that i could have had an opportunity but i didn't take it. say's she doesn't love me any more and can't make it work now. so following that, i got pissed off. fighting her on everything since. she told me i'm too much, and to please leave her alone. i've tried asking her if we could talk it over, but she's been ignoring me for over a month. is she hurting? i've stopped contacting her, and told her i won't contact her again.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Do you really want to be friends with her, or do you want to be in a relationship with her? Yes, you've probably blown it. Ultimatums shoukd be reserved for when attempting to take back a cheating partner. Not for this kind of thing. You should have just kept your mouth shut and gone NC. initially i said, we're just going to be strangers if we were friends, and it wouldn't work out. then i said come back and lets give our relationship another go... or else i'm gone forever. i know i pressured her and she felt powerless. but now i want to at least to be friends but she's punishing me.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) i'm so f*cking stupid. she broke up because it was getting unhealthy and wanted to get back when the time was right. i forced her to stay and she told me i've been acting childish for months and she was trying to prevent this mess. i blew things up and made things worst between us. what does my situation look like? we've both completely disappeared from each others lives and went NC. will she come back? Edited December 5, 2013 by Crazy Crab
Snipercatt Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Most likely she won't be back and any further contact will push her even further away and she may consider it harrassment.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Most likely she won't be back and any further contact will push her even further away and she may consider it harrassment. i've stopped like 2 weeks ago.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 (edited) had a talk with my ex girlfriend. she told me its draining explaining how she feels about us. i asked her do you want to be with someone else, she said "hell no. i'm jaded now." said she can't be in love with me or anybody. i asked "when your heart is ready, can i be the one who wins it?" she replied "you can try. but whatever happens we need to be happy for each other. i might come back. we need space, give time to f*cking miss you!" i told her i got tickets for the new 49ers stadium opening next year for us and she said, "that's not until next year, you might take me or your next girlfriend, who knows. i just hope you find happiness, because i'm happy now." so i'm basically chasing her, and being patient until her feelings come back. Edited December 7, 2013 by Crazy Crab
organizedchaos Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 had a talk with my ex girlfriend. she told me its draining explaining how she feels about us. i asked her do you want to be with someone else, she said "hell no. i'm jaded now." said she can't be in love with me or anybody. i asked "when your heart is ready, can i be the one who wins it?" she replied "you can try. but whatever happens we need to be happy for each other. i might come back. we need space, give time to f*cking miss you!" i told her i got tickets for the new 49ers stadium opening next year for us and she said, "that's not until next year, you might take me or your next girlfriend, who knows. i just hope you find happiness, because i'm happy now." so i'm basically chasing her, and being patient until her feelings come back. Worst mistake ever. So sappy, so emotional. How can you build attraction like this? 2
Poptree Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 She's being so dramatic. Everyone comes out of a relationship changed. So go off and find someone who doesn't say stuff like "oh i'm changed/jaded or i'll never find happiness again". You don't have time for that. No one does.
barky2 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 had a talk with my ex girlfriend. she told me its draining explaining how she feels about us. i asked her do you want to be with someone else, she said "hell no. i'm jaded now." said she can't be in love with me or anybody. i asked "when your heart is ready, can i be the one who wins it?" she replied "you can try. but whatever happens we need to be happy for each other. i might come back. we need space, give time to f*cking miss you!" i told her i got tickets for the new 49ers stadium opening next year for us and she said, "that's not until next year, you might take me or your next girlfriend, who knows. i just hope you find happiness, because i'm happy now." so i'm basically chasing her, and being patient until her feelings come back. You sound clingy and needy, no man is suppose to be like that, and she won't want a man like that. IE - you shoulda thrown a little dig in there, " I got tix for the 49ers! I'm so pumped" Then woulda came the " who are you planning on brining?" " who knows, I have a few ideas/a lot of people would like to go with me" A little mystery. But you blurted out her, and she pretty much shot it down. And if a woman gave me a answer like " Ull prob have a new girlfriend by then" aka I'm either moving on / I have someone lined up / why would you wait / lead on question to see if you're talking to someone. She's every easy to dissect, you are just blind. Grow a pair, be aloof, and watch the sudden change. But leave it the hell alone for awhile and go out and date to get your confidence back. Barky 2
2fargone Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 had a talk with my ex girlfriend. she told me its draining explaining how she feels about us. i asked her do you want to be with someone else, she said "hell no. i'm jaded now." said she can't be in love with me or anybody. i asked "when your heart is ready, can i be the one who wins it?" she replied "you can try. but whatever happens we need to be happy for each other. i might come back. we need space, give time to f*cking miss you!" i told her i got tickets for the new 49ers stadium opening next year for us and she said, "that's not until next year, you might take me or your next girlfriend, who knows. i just hope you find happiness, because i'm happy now." so i'm basically chasing her, and being patient until her feelings come back. Chasing her and being patient do not go well together.... 1
aliveagain Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Stop chasing her, your not a puppy looking for table scraps. When you stop the chase is when she'll notice you. You need to both want to be in the relationship instead of coming up with a lot of BS excuses for needing time apart. If you open yourself up to a new opportunity it will happen in time to use your tickets. Stop wasting time on this one.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 she told me, next time we talk, i need to learn to control my emotions. i mean i can't help it, i'm still in love with this girl and had so many plans for the future with her. idk, maybe i should just rebound to get her jealous, i had a couple of women flirt with me today, said i'm "sexy." lol
Mariposa10 Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 she told me, next time we talk, i need to learn to control my emotions. i mean i can't help it, i'm still in love with this girl and had so many plans for the future with her. idk, maybe i should just rebound to get her jealous, i had a couple of women flirt with me today, said i'm "sexy." lol I haven't read your thread... but All I need to tell you after reading this comment is: it will backfire. Do not do it. 1
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 lol, i'm not going to do that. she's already insecure when it comes to me and other girls. i really want to be with her, i'm just going to go NC, and see what unfolds.
flitzanu Posted December 8, 2013 Posted December 8, 2013 i'm just curious how many times this girl needs to tell you that she doesn't want to be with you before you hear what she's saying? 1
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Yeah, waiting for someone never ends well... she should have never told me she might return then if she knew it wasn't true.
Author Crazy Crab Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 No, you should have told her "I'm not going to wait around while you decide if you want to be with me or not." That is an example of an appropriate ultimatum. But it should have been delivered the second she said she "might" come back. she also said for us to have an agreement not to date anyone else either.
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