Nony101 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Hi everyone, I was hoping you could help me figure out what's going on. I'm a little confused and frustrated. Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling significantly more and more disconnected from my lady. I love her like crazy, but I'm not sure where this is coming from. I don't think that she feels anything has changed, but I can feel myself becoming more emotionally disconnected from her. I think it might be because sometimes I feel like she's just using me (I'm sure she doesn't intentionally do this). Like somewhere to grab a free meal, sleep and take a shower (plumbing is bad at her apartment), and someone to give her attention and cuddle her. Sometimes I just feel like the male version of her best friend or mom that gets an occasional peck on the lips. I referenced this in another thread, but had some time to think about it, and came up with the above thoughts. The physical aspect of our relationship has significantly declined to pretty much nothing. I guess that's when I've really started to feel this way. I've heard relationships are give and take. It feels like she's taking a lot from me, and I'm not really receiving a whole lot back. Is that just how it is? I want to treat her special, and do things for her, but I feel like she might just be taking advantage of me? Tell me what you think, I want the truth, so if I'm in the wrong, I want to hear it. Thanks!
tlegend Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Hi everyone, I was hoping you could help me figure out what's going on. I'm a little confused and frustrated. Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling significantly more and more disconnected from my lady. I love her like crazy, but I'm not sure where this is coming from. I don't think that she feels anything has changed, but I can feel myself becoming more emotionally disconnected from her. I think it might be because sometimes I feel like she's just using me (I'm sure she doesn't intentionally do this). Like somewhere to grab a free meal, sleep and take a shower (plumbing is bad at her apartment), and someone to give her attention and cuddle her. Sometimes I just feel like the male version of her best friend or mom that gets an occasional peck on the lips. I referenced this in another thread, but had some time to think about it, and came up with the above thoughts. The physical aspect of our relationship has significantly declined to pretty much nothing. I guess that's when I've really started to feel this way. I've heard relationships are give and take. It feels like she's taking a lot from me, and I'm not really receiving a whole lot back. Is that just how it is? I want to treat her special, and do things for her, but I feel like she might just be taking advantage of me? Tell me what you think, I want the truth, so if I'm in the wrong, I want to hear it. Thanks! Feeling this way is a terrible way to feel in a relationship. That being said, I think you should be open about the way you feel to her. You will learn rather quickly if she really gives 2 ****s about you or not.
Author Nony101 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) Feeling this way is a terrible way to feel in a relationship. That being said, I think you should be open about the way you feel to her. You will learn rather quickly if she really gives 2 ****s about you or not. I know that she loves me. She tells me she does and I can see that it's genuine. She's also said that she doesn't deserve the way I treat her (I treat her well). Any ideas on what to say in the most general sense? Whenever we have these types of discussions, I always seem to come off like the bad guy, and I'm the one that ends up apologizing. I'm not really sure why I'm feeling this disconnect either though. I feel like I need to know why I feel this way before bringing it up to her. Edited December 5, 2013 by Nony101
tlegend Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I know that she loves me. She tells me she does and I can see that it's genuine. She's also said that she doesn't deserve the way I treat her (I treat her well). Any ideas on what to say in the most general sense? Whenever we have these types of discussions, I always seem to come off like the bad guy, and I'm the one that ends up apologizing. I'm not really sure why I'm feeling this disconnect either though. I feel like I need to know why I feel this way before bringing it up to her. Figuring out a problem from one perspective that is obviously affected by more than 1 person is going to be fairly hard. Being able to communicate with your SO is part of the importance of having a relationship.
Author Nony101 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 The more I think about it (as selfish as I sound), I think I'm probably resentful of the way our physical relationship has turned out. I took a secondary stance in that part of our relationship, and let her take the reigns on that. She brought us to being very intimate (no sex), to a peck on the lips once a day. Of course she loves that because what girl wouldn't love to be cuddled constantly? Know what I mean? So she doesn't realize anything is wrong. It's not that I want to do that stuff because I understand why she has dialed it back, but I'm just a little miffed that she brought us there only to take everything away. It just sucks because I feel so disconnected from her now that we don't have a physical relationship, and I'm sick of pretending that I'm okay when I'm hurting inside.
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