heart12 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 If a girl says this... after a 3 month relationship that ended because she has some commitment issues and really shut down and out when she sensed it become a real relationship. Is there any hope of her coming back? Or is 'can we be friends' the ultimate in not happening now or ever. In the end she admitted to running when it became a little serious and that she's not looking for that right now. So I wished her well and that I hope she's happy and have gone no contact.
toolforgrowth Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 "Can we be friends" is usually to alleviate their guilt; if you'll be friends with them, then in their eyes they can't have hurt you THAT badly and so it makes them feel better about themselves and their actions. I personally never look at it as a means towards reconciliation. Why would I want to be friend-zoned by someone I'm interested in? It really depends on what you want and are comfortable with. Are you okay with being put in the friend zone? If so, then go for it. I personally think that path is fraught with peril, but that's just my two cents. If you really want her back, I think you need to disappear for a while. "I can't be friends with someone I'm interested in. If you want to give us another try, you know where to find me." And then go no contact and live your life as if she is not coming back. If she does, great. If she doesn't, then you're not sitting around waiting for something that won't happen. That's personally what I would do. Ymmv, of course. 3
Author heart12 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 No I know - I have NO intention of being her friend. When she said it I said sure we can be friends and then kissed her goodbye. She won't hear from me at all now. I think it's good to show that I'm ok with it and not to be emotional about it. Me disappearing now will force her to live with her decision of not having me around at all. I am NOT friend zoning myself. Just because I said sure we can be is the same as her fake offer to be friends. Even when I kissed her bye (on the cheek no less) she said you can't do that because it makes it too hard. I think if I disappear on her for a while (1-3 months) and keep doing my thing, not waiting etc... she will be back. We run in similar circles so eventually we'll bump into each other and who knows. I guess my real question is I know sometimes after angry break ups or wtv people eventually can get back together. I was just wondering if after the "lets be friends" thing if it can still happen.
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