felicity1 Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) I was flirting heavily with this guy for months. I was concerned about our possible age difference-not exactly sure of his age, around 30(he's middle-eastern, I think Israeli) so one day I kind of hinted at my age(42-I'm told I look younger) to him. He then told me he had a girlfriend and the flirting stopped for about a month. Now he has started to flirt at me again and is trying to communicate with me whenever he sees me, but I've been mostly ignoring him(the last time I saw him I gave him a slight quick smile). He has my number but hasn't contacted me(unless he lost it??). Would love to get some feedback on this one. Edited December 5, 2013 by felicity1
albingma Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 It seems he was initially put off by your age but after some contemplation he has changed his mind. He either sees you as a potential "side dish" or he is not with his girlfriend anymore. The fact that you ignore him means you want him all to yourself, so I hope he no longer has this girlfriend.
Zahara Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I'd be more concerned about whether he really had a girlfriend at the time while flirting with you. He may have not had a gf but only said it because your age turned him off. I'm not sure. Or he may have truly had a gf. If so, I'd wonder what type of quality guy you'd be pursuing.
albingma Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 He either sees you as a potential "side dish" or he is not with his girlfriend anymore. The fact that you ignore him means you want him all to yourself, so I hope he no longer has this girlfriend. -if he actually has a girlfriend.
Author felicity1 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Or he may have truly had a gf. If so, I'd wonder what type of quality guy you'd be pursuing. You're right, he could be a no-gooder. But I don't want to lose him if he actually has no girlfriend. He's such an innocent, naive sort of flirter, it would surprise me that he would be a cheater/womanizer. He just doesn't seem the type.
Author felicity1 Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 I'm wandering if i should simply ask him what his situation is?
albingma Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 I don't think you should go out your way for him just in case he actually has a girlfriend. I would continue doing what you're doing. But don't make it too difficult for him to approach you.
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 He's a flirty boy . . . nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing to ask him. He has a GF & didn't hide that fact. It doesn't seem like he is interested in leaving her or cheating on her. He just likes to flirt. Assume it's going no where & keep doing what you have been doing if you enjoy the flirting for flirting's sake. 2
Author felicity1 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 He's a flirty boy . . . nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing to ask him. He has a GF & didn't hide that fact. It doesn't seem like he is interested in leaving her or cheating on her. He just likes to flirt. Assume it's going no where & keep doing what you have been doing if you enjoy the flirting for flirting's sake. I would like to assume this so then I can simply forget about him and move on. It's just, before he told me about the gf he had asked me what my intentions were with him. I was unsure about his age and didn't have the courage to bring up the topic at the time, so I dismissed his question.
Zahara Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 You're right, he could be a no-gooder. But I don't want to lose him if he actually has no girlfriend. He's such an innocent, naive sort of flirter, it would surprise me that he would be a cheater/womanizer. He just doesn't seem the type. "He just doesn't seem the type." You need to squash this. There is no way to tell what and who people are. Flirting, outer appearances and mannerisms aren't good enough predictors whether a guy is a player or not.
Author felicity1 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 "He just doesn't seem the type." You need to squash this. There is no way to tell what and who people are. Flirting, outer appearances and mannerisms aren't good enough predictors whether a guy is a player or not. OK. So you don't think I should at least give him a chance if he approaches me? Just let him go?
Zahara Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 OK. So you don't think I should at least give him a chance if he approaches me? Just let him go? I think he's a man child. Flirting while possibly having a girlfriend is not good. And if he lied about it, not good either. You don't even know him and already all the flags. All he does is flirt. If he wants anything more with you, let him approach you, gauge his conversation and go from there. Quit with the flirting on your part. You're just enabling him. You are a 42 year old woman. Expect to have a man come up to you and converse maturely and intelligently instead of depending on flirting alone to woo you. Through all this flirting, what have you learned about him?
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 If he directly asks you on a date, inquire about the GF before answering. If he just continues to flirt, go with the status quo. If he's not asking for a date all he wants is an ocassional ego boost. Since you get one back, no harm, no foul. 2
StanMusial Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 OK. So you don't think I should at least give him a chance if he approaches me? Just let him go? Let him go? Do you have him shackled to a tree in your backyard? Also, flirting for months and no action taken? It sounds like you have built a fantasy in your brain based on casual interactions. 2
Woggle Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Don't care about the age but stay away from taken people.
Author felicity1 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Let him go? Do you have him shackled to a tree in your backyard? Also, flirting for months and no action taken? It sounds like you have built a fantasy in your brain based on casual interactions. Very funny! I have never really flirted much, let alone with a guy who is 10 years younger. Wouldn't you feel the same if you were me?
Author felicity1 Posted December 6, 2013 Author Posted December 6, 2013 Also, flirting for months and no action taken? /QUOTE] I was concerned about the age difference. I was feeling uncomfortable about how he might react if he knew my age.
Zahara Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 42 and you are in your prime! Prime I say. You're worried about what a 30 something would think if you told him your age? Who cares. Go out and date. Meet people. Stop putting all your eggs in this tiny little basket.
StanMusial Posted December 6, 2013 Posted December 6, 2013 Very funny! I have never really flirted much, let alone with a guy who is 10 years younger. Wouldn't you feel the same if you were me? I don't know, I have flirted with a lot of girls. If I thought they were turned off by my age I would probably stop though. Also, I don't flirt with anyone I see regularly when I have a gf. I might be guilty of the occasional brief flirt with the girl in the shop or in the cafeteria but that's all and it is harmless because I think no more of it past the moment.
Author felicity1 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I think he's a man child. Flirting while possibly having a girlfriend is not good. And if he lied about it, not good either. You don't even know him and already all the flags. All he does is flirt. If he wants anything more with you, let him approach you, gauge his conversation and go from there. Quit with the flirting on your part. You're just enabling him. You are a 42 year old woman. Expect to have a man come up to you and converse maturely and intelligently instead of depending on flirting alone to woo you. Through all this flirting, what have you learned about him? I appreciate your comments Zahara. This just brings me back to the unlrelenting reality that I have unresolved "daddy issues". I also happen to have an obsessive personality. It makes sense doesn't it?
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